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Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o! - Episode 8

Episode Replay

Episode Transcript

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Aqua : So cold...
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Aqua : I pawned my coat, too. It's so cold...
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Aqua : Th-The fire!
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Aqua : There.
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Kazuma Satou : Hey, what are you doing?!
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Kazuma Satou : Quit screwing around!
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Kazuma Satou : What do you think you're doing
to my only memento of Japan?!
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Aqua : I don't have any choice!
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Aqua : There's nothing else to burn!
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Kazuma Satou : Hand over that raiment, then!
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Kazuma Satou : It looks like it would burn
better than a tracksuit!
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Aqua : Let go, you shut-in NEET!
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Aqua : Warm me up! Warm me up more!
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Aqua : Whoa, wait!
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Kazuma Satou : I can't go on like this.
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Kazuma Satou : We have to do something, and fast.
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EXTRA : Episode 8
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Kazuma Satou : Our party is poorly balanced.
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Kazuma Satou : I'd like a skill that I could use
more like a main weapon.
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Aqua : So cold...
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Kazuma Satou : All right, we're here.
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Kazuma Satou : Listen, Aqua.
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Kazuma Satou : I'll say this while I have the chance.
Don't throw any fits, you hear?
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Aqua : Hey, what're you talking about?
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Aqua : What do you take me for?
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Aqua : I'm no hoodlum or outlaw.
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Aqua : I'm a goddess, a bona fide deity!
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Aqua : Hey! Are you listening to me?
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Aqua : Wait! You should listen gratefully
when a goddess speaks!
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Wiz : Welco—
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Aqua : It's you, you damned undead!
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Aqua : You opened up a shop here?
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Aqua : I'm sleeping in a stable,
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Aqua : and you're running a shop?!
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Aqua : You're pretty full of yourself, for a lich!
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Aqua : I'll burn this shop to the
ground in the name of God—
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Aqua : Ow!
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Kazuma Satou : Kazuma-san!
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Kazuma Satou : Yo, Wiz. It's been a while.
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Aqua : Do you not even serve tea at this shop?
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Wiz : I'll bring some for you right away!
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Kazuma Satou : I see she hasn't changed.
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Kazuma Satou : Her name is Wiz.
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Kazuma Satou : She may look like an ordinary
human, but she's actually a lich.
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Kazuma Satou : She's a ruler of the undead,
also known as the "No-Life King."
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Kazuma Satou : Although Wiz is a lich, she's a kind girl.
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Kazuma Satou : Every night, she'd send spirits wandering
the graveyard home to Heaven.
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Kazuma Satou : Through various circumstances,
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Kazuma Satou : we took up that job in her stead
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Kazuma Satou : and ended up letting her go, but...
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Wiz : H-Here you go.
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Aqua : It's delicious.
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Aqua : You set up a shop even
though you're an undead,
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Aqua : and you prepare warm tea even
though you're an undead...
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Wiz : I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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Wiz : The likes of me shouldn't live in such luxury!
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Kazuma Satou : Stop acting like a spiteful sister-in-law.
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Kazuma Satou : Wiz, I have some spare points saved up.
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Kazuma Satou : Could you teach me a skill?
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Aqua : Hey! What are you thinking, Kazuma?!
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Aqua : I can't possibly overlook a goddess's
attendant learning a lich's skills!
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Kazuma Satou : Who're you calling an attendant?!
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Aqua : Listen. Liches love gloomy, dismal places.
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Aqua : The whole lot of them are
basically related to slugs!
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Wiz : Th-That's terrible!
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Kazuma Satou : But people normally can't
learn lich skills, right?
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Kazuma Satou : I was thinking it could be
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Kazuma Satou : a great asset in battle if
I could learn skills like that.
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Wiz : Um...
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Wiz : Did she say "a goddess's attendant" earlier?
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Aqua : That's right.
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Aqua : I am Aqua.
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Aqua : Yes, the goddess Aqua, worshiped
by the Religious Order of Axis.
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Aqua : Renounce yourself, Lich!
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Kazuma Satou : Hey, Wiz. There's no need to get so scared.
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Wiz : No, it's...
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Wiz : There are lots of crazy
people in the Axis sect,
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Wiz : and it's common knowledge that it's
best not to get involved with them,
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Wiz : so when I heard that she's the
head goddess of the Axis sect...
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Aqua : What did you say?!
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Aqua : Curse you! This is what you get!
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Wiz : I'm sorry!
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Kazuma Satou : This conversation isn't going anywhere.
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Wiz : By the way, I heard you defeated Verdia-san.
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Wiz : His skill with the sword was
supposed to be quite impressive,
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Wiz : even among the other leaders,
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Wiz : so that's quite amazing.
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Kazuma Satou : You sound as if you knew Verdia.
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Wiz : Oh,
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Wiz : that's because I'm one of the eight
leaders of the Devil King's army.
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Aqua : Got you!
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Wiz : Wait! Please wait, Aqua-sama!
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Wiz : I beg of you! Please listen
to what I have to say!
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Aqua : I did it, Kazuma!
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Aqua : With this, all my debts will be forgiven!
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Aqua : In fact, I should get change back!
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Kazuma Satou : Hey, Aqua, at least hear her out.
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Kazuma Satou : Listen, as an adventurer,
I obviously can't overlook you
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Kazuma Satou : saying you're a leader of the Devil King's army...
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Wiz : You've got it all wrong!
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Wiz : I was asked to maintain the barrier
that protects the Devil King's castle!
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Wiz : Of course, I've never once
caused anyone any harm,
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Wiz : and you won't receive any
bounty for defeating me, either!
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Aqua : I don't really get it, but I'll
eliminate you, just in case.
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Wiz : Please wait, Aqua-sama!
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Kazuma Satou : So you're saying
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Kazuma Satou : we can open the path to the Devil King's
castle by defeating all of his leaders.
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Kazuma Satou : Is that right?
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Wiz : Yes, yes! That's correct!
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Wiz : That's what the Devil King asked of me!
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Wiz : He said he wouldn't stop me from quietly
managing my shop in a human settlement,
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Wiz : but only asked that I maintain
the barrier as one of his leaders.
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Aqua : So, as long as you're around,
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Aqua : humans can't invade the Devil King's castle?
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Aqua : Kazuma, let's eliminate her.
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Wiz : Wait! Please wait!
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Wiz : Please at least let me live a little while longer!
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Wiz : I still have something I need to do.
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Aqua : I could easily break a simple barrier...
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Aqua : But she's a lich, so let's eliminate her.
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Wiz : Please wait!
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Kazuma Satou : Now, hang on.
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Kazuma Satou : Even if we broke the barrier right now,
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Kazuma Satou : we can't defeat the Devil King
at our current levels.
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Kazuma Satou : It'll just end in us being beheaded.
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Aqua : Okay, fine.
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Wiz : Th-Thank you very much!
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Wiz : But are you okay with this?
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Kazuma Satou : You don't resent us for
defeating Verdia or anything?
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Wiz : It's not as though I was particularly
close to Verdia-san or anything.
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Wiz : Whenever I would walk around...
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Verdia : Whoops!
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Verdia : My hand slipped!
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Wiz : He was the sort who would often
roll his own head down by my feet
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Wiz : and try to look up my skirt.
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Verdia : Strike! In so many ways, a total strike!
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Wiz : Besides,
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Wiz : I believe my heart is human, even now.
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EXTRA : Here I go! Hi-yah!
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Wiz : Okay, then, I'll teach you one of my skills.
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Wiz : It's the least I can do to repay
you for letting me go before...
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Kazuma Satou : What's wrong?
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Wiz : Um...
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Wiz : All of my skills can only be used on an opponent.
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Kazuma Satou : Aqua, sorry, but would you do it?
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Aqua : What skill is an undead planning to use on me?
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Wiz : W-Well...
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Wiz : How about "Drain Touch"?
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Wiz : It's a skill that absorbs an
opponent's health and magic,
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Wiz : and can then distribute that power to others.
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Kazuma Satou : I see. Depending on how it's used,
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Kazuma Satou : it might be able to compensate for
our party's lack of firepower.
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Wiz : O-Of course,
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Wiz : I'll only absorb a very small amount.
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Aqua : Fine. Absorb as much as you can.
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Aqua : Go right ahead.
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Kazuma Satou : It's getting hard to tell which is
the lich and which is the goddess.
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Wiz : O-Okay,
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Wiz : please excuse me.
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Wiz : Huh? H-Huh?
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Aqua : Come on, what's the matter?
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Aqua : Aren't you going to absorb
my magic and health?
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Wiz : H-Huh?!
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Aqua : Ow!
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Aqua : Hey, Kazuma, don't interfere!
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Aqua : This is a battle between a lich and a goddess!
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Aqua : You think I'll let her absorb
my strength that easily?!
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Kazuma Satou : Look, we're not getting anywhere,
so let her absorb it!
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Kazuma Satou : All right...
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Kazuma Satou : Acquisition complete!
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Wiz : U-Um, Aqua-sama?
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Wiz : It's all right. You can let go of my hand now.
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Wiz : Actually, when you touch me,
it sort of makes my hand tingle,
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Wiz : so I'd appreciate it if you would let go.
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Wiz : A-Aqua-sama?
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Wiz : Um, my hand is starting to burn...
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Wiz : Aqua-sama, I'm going to disappear!
I'm going to disappear!
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Wiz : I'm disappearing!
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Aqua : Ow!
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Kazuma Satou : What are you taking advantage
of the moment to do?
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Wiz : You're so mean...
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Kazuma Satou : Is it just my imagination,
or does Wiz look kind of see-through?
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EXTRA : Excuse me!
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EXTRA : Is Wiz-san here?
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EXTRA : KONOSUBA!
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Kazuma Satou : This is the place?
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Aqua : Not bad! Yes, not bad at all!
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Aqua : This should be a fitting place for me to live!
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Megumin : This was originally some
aristocrat's villa, I hear.
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Lalatina Dustiness Ford : But the landlord certainly is generous,
allowing us to live here as
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Lalatina Dustiness Ford : a reward if we can exorcise it.
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Kazuma Satou : Wiz is apparently known as a
famous magician in our city,
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Kazuma Satou : so people often bring cases like these to her.
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Aqua : With this, we can make it through
the winter without worry!
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Aqua : Like they say, "make the
best of a bad situation."
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Aqua : Nothing less from me!
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Kazuma Satou : But according to the landlord,
spirits reappear instantly,
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Kazuma Satou : no matter how many times they're exorcised.
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Aqua : Leave it to me!
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Aqua : I'm a goddess and an arch priest!
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Aqua : You could call me an anti-undead expert!
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Aqua : I see it. I see it!
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Aqua : There was a child born
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Aqua : in this mansion to an aristocrat who made
a move on his maid, partly in fun,
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Aqua : and that illegitimate child was confined here.
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Aqua : The aristocrat had a weak constitution,
and when he died from illness,
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Aqua : the mother of the illegitimate
child went missing, as well.
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Aqua : The girl remained in the
mansion and succumbed
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Aqua : to the same illness as her father,
passing away at a young age,
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Aqua : lonely and alone, without ever
knowing her parents' faces.
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Kazuma Satou : I really want to ask how you know
the setting in such detail...
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Kazuma Satou : That'll take care of the cleaning for now.
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Lalatina Dustiness Ford : We've decided the room arrangements,
and we've carried in our luggage,
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Lalatina Dustiness Ford : so all that's left is to wait for nighttime.
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Kazuma Satou : No surprise that it's a little dusty... Huh?
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Aqua : The girl's name was Anna Filante Estheroid.
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Aqua : Her favorite things were stuffed dolls
and tales of adventurers' journeys.
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Aqua : But don't worry. This spirit isn't a bad girl.
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Aqua : Whoa!
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Aqua : She may be a child, but she appears to
like things that are a bit grown-up.
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Aqua : She enjoys sweet, hard drinks—
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Kazuma Satou : Okay, everyone's free to do
as they please from now on.
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Kazuma Satou : Call out as soon as an evil spirit shows up.
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Kazuma Satou : Dismissed!
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Kazuma Satou : This is great!
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Kazuma Satou : Having my own room is a wonderful thing!
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Kazuma Satou : I'm sure the evil spirits
will be gone by morning.
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Kazuma Satou : Knowing Aqua, she isn't the
type to let evil spirits
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Kazuma Satou : do whatever they like in her own house.
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Kazuma Satou : She is an arch priest and goddess, after all.
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Kazuma Satou : What?!
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Kazuma Satou : What's wrong? Hey, Aqua, what happened?!
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Kazuma Satou : Are you all right?
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Aqua : Kazuma!
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Kazuma Satou : Hey.
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Aqua : This is super expensive alcohol
that I've been saving.
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Aqua : I was looking forward to taking
leisurely sips of it after my bath...
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Aqua : But when I came back to
my room, as you can see,
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Aqua : it was empty!
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Kazuma Satou : I see. Goodnight, then. See you tomorrow.
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Aqua : This is the work of evil spirits!
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Aqua : I'm going to go look around the mansion
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Aqua : and strike down any spirits
that catch my eye!
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Aqua : Show yourselves!
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Aqua : Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
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Aqua : Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
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Aqua : Nature's Beauty!
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Aqua : Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
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Kazuma Satou : I gotta go to the bathroom.
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Kazuma Satou : Whoa, scary!
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Kazuma Satou : Huh? Was there a doll like that in this room?
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Kazuma Satou : It can't be!
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Kazuma Satou : A clichéd development like
this can't be happening!
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Kazuma Satou : Aqua! Aqua-sama!
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Kazuma Satou : Scary! Scary! This is super scary! What is this?!
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Kazuma Satou : Aqua! Save m—
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Kazuma Satou : Don't scare me like that, Megumin!
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Kazuma Satou : I nearly wet myself.
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Megumin : I'm the one who should be saying that!
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Megumin : Why did you come barging into this room?
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Megumin : I thought Aqua was coming back.
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Kazuma Satou : I could ask you the same.
Why are you in Aqua's room?
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Megumin : Well, there were dolls moving
around all over the place...
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Megumin : So, um, I was going to have Aqua protect me...
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Megumin : and thought we could go
to the bathroom together.
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Kazuma Satou : You, too?
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Kazuma Satou : Aqua's probably still out exorcising
spirits in the mansion, isn't she?
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Megumin : Is she? I'm sure Darkness is with her, then.
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Kazuma Satou : Yeah, despite how she is, she's a crusader.
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Kazuma Satou : Hey, Megumin,
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Kazuma Satou : look over there and cover
your ears for a minute.
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Kazuma Satou : I'm going to borrow your veranda for a—
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Kazuma Satou : Hey, what are you doing?
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Kazuma Satou : Let go.
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Kazuma Satou : If you don't, my pants and the carpet in
this room are going to be in big trouble.
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Megumin : I won't let you.
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Megumin : How can you try to relieve yourself alone?
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Megumin : Aren't we allies?
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Megumin : Wherever we go, bathroom or otherwise,
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Megumin : we go together!
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Kazuma Satou : Let go!
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Kazuma Satou : Don't emphasize our bond as
allies only at times like these!
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Kazuma Satou : Didn't you say crimson demons
don't use the bathroom?!
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Kazuma Satou : If you want, there's an empty
bottle lying over there!
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Megumin : You just blurted out something outrageous!
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Kazuma Satou : Now, do it! Give it a try! Go pee!
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Megumin : What are you suggesting I
do with that empty bottle?!
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Megumin : I won't let you!
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Megumin : I can at least shake you from behind
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Megumin : while you're taking of your business—
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Megumin : Kazuma, are you there?
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Kazuma Satou : I'm here.
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Megumin : Are you really there?
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Kazuma Satou : I am here!
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Megumin : You're really, really there for me, right?
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Kazuma Satou : I'm here!
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Kazuma Satou : I'm right here, and I won't
leave you, so hurry up and go!
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Megumin : Um, this is a little embarrassing,
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Megumin : so could you sing a song or
something in a loud voice?
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Kazuma Satou : Why do I have to sing in the middle
of the night, in front of a bathroom?!
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Kazuma Satou : Hey, Megumin, hurry up!
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Megumin : Please don't rush me like that!
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Megumin : I know you're in a tough spot, too!
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Kazuma Satou : It's true that both our
bladders are in a tough spot,
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Kazuma Satou : but we've got a bigger problem closing in!
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Megumin : I can't go if you rush me like that!
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Kazuma Satou : It's no good!
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Kazuma Satou : I can't wait any longer!
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Kazuma Satou : Hurry!
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Megumin : How can anyone have so
little common sense?!
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Kazuma Satou : You at least got halfway through, so you're fine!
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Megumin : What are you talking about?
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Megumin : Crimson demons don't use the bathroom.
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Kazuma Satou : You're saying that now?!
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Kazuma Satou : I'm already at my limit here!
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Megumin : I thought that might happen, so I brought this.
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Megumin : Please use it.
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Kazuma Satou : No, thanks!
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Kazuma Satou : I can't hold it anymore.
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Kazuma Satou : At this point, I'd sooner use the vase...
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Megumin : Darkness blacker than black
and darker than dark,
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Megumin : I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson.
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Kazuma Satou : What are you chanting?
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Kazuma Satou : You want to blow away this
mansion along with them?!
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Kazuma Satou : Damn... We'll just have to go for it!
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Kazuma Satou : Megumin, once I open the door, run!
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Kazuma Satou : I'll use the Drain Touch skill I just learned
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Kazuma Satou : and absorb the magic of as many dolls as I can!
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Kazuma Satou : Bring it on, you evil spirits!
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Kazuma Satou : I'll sic our mad-dog goddess
on you all later, damn it!
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Lalatina Dustiness Ford : H-Hey, Aqua, are you all right?
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EXTRA : Yay! Yay!
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Luna : Since you exorcised the evil spirits,
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Luna : you get a special reward.
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Luna : This was posted as a kill quest,
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Luna : but even the guild was bothered
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Luna : by how new evil spirits settled in,
no matter how many were exorcised.
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Kazuma Satou : So I hear.
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Kazuma Satou : Why did so many evil spirits gather there?
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Luna : About that...
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Luna : There's a community graveyard
near that mansion, correct?
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Aqua : A community graveyard?
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Kazuma Satou : The place where we first met Wiz?
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Luna : Someone apparently erected a massive
barrier as a prank or something.
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Luna : So the spirits had nowhere to go
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Luna : and settled in that vacant mansion instead.
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Kazuma Satou : Excuse us for a moment.
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Kazuma Satou : Hey. You know what's going
on, don't you? Spill it.
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Aqua : Yes.
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Aqua : You remember how we undertook exorcising
the graveyard in Wiz's stead before?
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Kazuma Satou : Uh-huh.
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Aqua : But constantly going all the way
to the graveyard was a huge pain.
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Kazuma Satou : Uh-huh.
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Aqua : So I figured if I took away their graveyard,
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Aqua : the spirits' home, they would
eventually disperse and leave.
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Aqua : So... I... did.
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Kazuma Satou : Talk about stirring up trouble
and taking the credit!
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Kazuma Satou : This is obviously wrong.
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Kazuma Satou : We won't accept the special
reward from the guild.
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Kazuma Satou : Got it?
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Aqua : Yes.
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Kazuma Satou : I thought for sure it was
all Aqua's wild delusions.
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Kazuma Satou : Who would've thought it was all true?
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Wiz : Kazuma-san.
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Wiz : Hello. Are you cleaning the gravestone?
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Wiz : Isn't it great that you've
been allowed to live here?
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Kazuma Satou : It's a life-saver that the landlord
here is such a nice person.
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Kazuma Satou : We caused you a lot of trouble, too, Wiz.
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Wiz : No, no. I personally think
this was for the best.
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Wiz : I'm sure she won't be lonely anymore.
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Kazuma Satou : I'm sure.
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Kazuma Satou : I'm begging you, please don't
cause any more mischief.
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Wiz : Well, I need to tend to the shop,
so I'll be heading back for the day.
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Wiz : Say hello to the others for me.
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Kazuma Satou : Yeah, thanks for coming.
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Aqua : Kazuma! Dinner's ready, so hurry back!
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Aqua : If you don't, your long-awaited
lunch will get cold!
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Kazuma Satou : With this, I finally obtained
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Kazuma Satou : the down-to-earth lifestyle I most desired.
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Kazuma Satou : Got it. I'm on my way!
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Lalatina Dustiness Ford : Aqua, we're out of wood for the fireplace.
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Aqua : Oh, then toss Kazuma's tracksuit
over there onto the fire!
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Kazuma Satou : Don't!
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Kazuma Satou : I told you, don't try to
burn my precious memories!
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EXTRA : Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 15
A knight must never lose their composure over trivial matters.
Having a monster cast its black magic upon you,
or being manipulated by obscene mental attacks and exposing your follies to your allies, are disgraceful acts.
Also, in the unlikely event you feel sexually stimulated by such a situation, you must never behave as such.
Knight or not, it is the lowest of interests you can have as a human being.
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