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Episode Transcript

Kazuma Satou : There we go... (0:00:05.39)
Kazuma Satou : I normally shut myself in at home, (0:00:07.50)
Kazuma Satou : but unusually for me,
today I made up my mind to go out.
Kazuma Satou : All to get my hands on
the first-run limited edition
Kazuma Satou : of a popular online game
that goes on sale today.
Kazuma Satou : A five-hour round trip!
I'm glad I was able to buy it.
Kazuma Satou : In-store exclusives, official or not,
really are playing dirty.
Kazuma Satou : This sunlight is my worst enemy
after three straight all-nighters.
Kazuma Satou : Time to get home and play the hell out of this. (0:00:44.84)
Kazuma Satou : A girl from my high school? (0:00:52.76)
Kazuma Satou : Look out! That truck's going to— (0:00:58.95)
Kazuma Satou : Why would I choose now, of all times, (0:01:05.93)
Kazuma Satou : to do something so out of character? (0:01:08.07)
Aqua : Satou Kazuma-san. (0:01:24.91)
Aqua : Welcome to the afterlife. (0:01:27.25)
Aqua : Unfortunately, you passed away moments ago. (0:01:31.97)
Aqua : Your life was a short one, (0:01:39.80)
Aqua : but you are, in fact, dead. (0:01:43.73)
Kazuma Satou : Just one question... (0:01:49.03)
Kazuma Satou : What about the girl I
pushed out of harm's way?
Aqua : She's alive. (0:01:56.04)
Kazuma Satou : Thank goodness. (0:01:59.85)
Kazuma Satou : That means my death wasn't in vain. (0:02:01.76)
Aqua : Actually, she wouldn't have gotten hurt, (0:02:06.55)
Aqua : even if you hadn't pushed her out of the way. (0:02:09.22)
Kazuma Satou : Huh? (0:02:11.81)
Aqua : That tractor was going to stop before it hit her. (0:02:12.94)
Kazuma Satou : Huh? Wait a second. (0:02:16.61)
Aqua : What is it? (0:02:18.45)
Kazuma Satou : "Tractor"? (0:02:19.76)
Aqua : Yes, it was a tractor. (0:02:21.75)
Kazuma Satou : Huh? Then what happened? (0:02:24.45)
Kazuma Satou : Did I die by getting plowed over by a tractor? (0:02:26.27)
Aqua : No, you died of shock. (0:02:28.87)
Aqua : You mistakenly thought a truck ran over you. (0:02:30.92)
Kazuma Satou : I died of shock?! (0:02:33.13)
Aqua : I've been doing this for a long time, (0:02:38.61)
Aqua : but you're the first human to
ever die in such a bizarre way.
Kazuma Satou : I've never even met this girl
before. What's her deal?
Aqua : You were so terrified that you'd
be run over, you wet yourself.
Aqua : You passed out and were
taken to a nearby hospital,
Aqua : and the doctors and nurses laughed
at you as you had a heart attack—
Kazuma Satou : Stop! I don't wanna hear it! (0:02:56.71)
Kazuma Satou : I don't wanna hear it! I don't wanna hear it! (0:02:58.57)
Aqua : Your family just rushed to the hospital, (0:03:00.28)
Aqua : and now even they're laughing
out loud at the cause of death.
Kazuma Satou : Stop! Stop! (0:03:05.59)
Aqua : Well... (0:03:06.87)
Aqua : I've vented enough stress for now. (0:03:09.37)
Kazuma Satou : Damn her! (0:03:12.67)
Aqua : My name is Aqua. (0:03:13.96)
Aqua : I'm a goddess who guides humans
who die young to the afterlife.
Aqua : You have two choices. (0:03:20.13)
Aqua : You can start from square one with a new life, (0:03:23.25)
Aqua : or you can go to Heaven and
carry on like an old man.
Aqua : To tell you the truth, (0:03:29.76)
Aqua : Heaven isn't the dreamy place
you all imagine it to be.
Kazuma Satou : Huh? (0:03:35.40)
Aqua : Not only is there no TV, there are
no manga or games, either.
Aqua : You don't even have a physical body, (0:03:38.78)
Aqua : so you can't do anything sexual, either. (0:03:40.90)
Aqua : There's nothing to do there but
bask in the sun for all eternity.
Kazuma Satou : What? (0:03:47.90)
Aqua : Yeah, you don't want to go to a
boring place like Heaven, do you?
Kazuma Satou : Uh, right... (0:03:53.52)
Aqua : On the other hand, starting over
from square one isn't so fun, either.
Aqua : On that note, I've got a great offer for you. (0:03:59.09)
Aqua : You like games, don't you? (0:04:01.57)
Kazuma Satou : Huh? (0:04:03.90)
Aqua : That world, which has long enjoyed peace, (0:04:05.33)
Aqua : is being threatened by the Devil King's army! (0:04:08.52)
Aqua : The livelihoods its citizens have worked
for are being trampled by monsters.
Aqua : Everyone lives in fear of the Devil King's
army's merciless pillage and slaughter!
Aqua : ...slaughter! (0:04:20.95)
Aqua : Since that's the sort of world it is,
everyone refuses to be reborn,
Aqua : so the population is declining. (0:04:28.52)
Kazuma Satou : I see... (0:04:30.32)
Aqua : So we decided, "Why not send people who've (0:04:31.40)
Aqua : died in other worlds there with their
bodies and memories intact?"
Kazuma Satou : What's the point in sending me there
if I'm just going to be killed?
Aqua : That's why I'm doing you a big favor. (0:04:41.78)
Aqua : I'm granting you the right to bring any
one thing of your choosing with you.
Aqua : It could be a powerful weapon,
or a tremendous talent.
Aqua : You'll be able to redo your life
with all of your original memories.
Aqua : To top it off, you can bring
one thing of your choosing!
Aqua : And the people of the parallel world (0:04:58.15)
Aqua : will earn someone battle-ready to help them. (0:04:59.71)
Aqua : Not a bad deal, don't you think? (0:05:02.48)
Kazuma Satou : Um, I want to ask something. (0:05:07.93)
Kazuma Satou : Will I be able to speak this
other world's language?
Aqua : That won't be an issue. (0:05:13.07)
EXTRA : Parallel World Reincarnation Guide and Contract
The First Ever Parallel World Guide! (For Shut-ins)
Aqua : With the kind support of us gods, (0:05:16.42)
Aqua : we'll overload your brain so you'll
be able to learn it instantly.
EXTRA : Caution!
Because the process of installing the ability to speak the parallel world's language into the one
who wishes to be reincarnated there (henceforth referred to as "Reincarnated") requires
instantaneous overloading of the hippocampus and cerebral cortex (henceforth referred to as
"Brain"), Reincarnated's Brain may, in rare cases, lose certain faculties (go "p**f"). Should
this occur, according to Article 1296 Clauses 2 and 5 and Article 2051
Aqua : As a side effect, (0:05:23.29)
Aqua : you might just go "poof"
if you're unlucky, though.
Aqua : So all that leaves you to do is to choose
a powerful ability or piece of equipment.
Kazuma Satou : I just heard you mention
something really serious.
Kazuma Satou : What do you mean, "poof"? (0:05:36.54)
Aqua : I never said that. (0:05:37.90)
Kazuma Satou : Yes, you did. (0:05:38.98)
Aqua : Now, choose! (0:05:40.63)
Aqua : I'll grant you one power
that is second to none!
Kazuma Satou : This is my gamer's intuition talking, (0:05:51.11)
Kazuma Satou : but all of the abilities and equipment
here are totally broken!
Kazuma Satou : If I'm going to a world where magic exists,
I absolutely have to try it out!
Aqua : Hey, hurry it up. (0:06:00.87)
Aqua : No matter what you pick, it's all the same. (0:06:02.79)
Aqua : Nobody's expecting much from
a shut-in game otaku anyway.
Kazuma Satou : I-I'm not an otaku! (0:06:07.51)
Kazuma Satou : And I died after leaving my house,
so I'm not a shut-in, either!
Aqua : None of that matters. Just hurry it up. (0:06:14.76)
Aqua : I've still got lots more deceased
humans to guide, you know.
Kazuma Satou : Damn her! (0:06:20.65)
Kazuma Satou : Getting all cocky just because
she's a little bit cute...
Kazuma Satou : "Hurry up and decide," huh? (0:06:31.28)
Kazuma Satou : I'll do just that, then. (0:06:33.68)
Kazuma Satou : Pick one thing to bring to
this parallel world, right?
Aqua : That's right. (0:06:38.37)
Kazuma Satou : Okay, I pick you. (0:06:42.59)
Aqua : All right, stand there and
don't leave the magic circle—
Aqua : What did you just say? (0:06:54.63)
EXTRA : We have heard your request. (0:07:02.95)
EXTRA : I shall take over your job
from here on out, Aqua-sama.
Aqua : Huh? (0:07:09.03)
EXTRA : Satou Kazuma-san's wish complies with
the regulations and has been accepted.
Aqua : Hey, what is all this? Wh-What?
You've got to be kidding.
Aqua : No, no, no! Come on, um... (0:07:18.38)
Aqua : This is not right! Taking a goddess
with you is against the rules!
Aqua : It must be illegal! This has to be illegal! (0:07:25.35)
Aqua : Wait! Wait! (0:07:28.21)
EXTRA : Please have a safe trip, Aqua-sama. (0:07:30.99)
EXTRA : Should you successfully defeat the Devil King, (0:07:33.43)
EXTRA : I will send someone to pick you up. (0:07:35.63)
Aqua : I may have the ability to
heal since I'm a goddess,
Aqua : but I have no fighting ability to speak of! (0:07:40.23)
Aqua : There's no way I can beat the Devil King! (0:07:42.50)
Aqua : Hey, wait! (0:07:45.50)
Kazuma Satou : How does it feel to get dragged away with
the guy you treated like a total idiot?
Kazuma Satou : You've been designated as the one
thing I'll be bringing along,
Kazuma Satou : so if you're a goddess,
use your godly powers
Kazuma Satou : or whatever to make my
life as easy as possible!
Aqua : No! (0:08:04.08)
Aqua : I don't want to go to a parallel
world with a man like this!
EXTRA : Brave hero, I pray that of the
great many prospective heroes,
EXTRA : you will be the one to defeat the Devil King. (0:08:17.51)
EXTRA : If you do so, we shall grant any wish (0:08:20.71)
EXTRA : you desire as a gift from the gods. (0:08:23.32)
Kazuma Satou : Whoa, for real?! (0:08:25.94)
Aqua : That's my line! (0:08:28.19)
Aqua : Now, go forth on your journey! (0:08:29.44)
Aqua : No! (0:08:34.78)
EXTRA : The Town of Beginning Adventurers (0:08:57.39)
EXTRA : The Town of Beginning Adventurers (0:08:58.55)
EXTRA : Axel (0:08:58.55b)
EXTRA : The Town of Beginning Adventurers (0:08:58.93)
EXTRA : Axel (0:08:58.93b)
Kazuma Satou : It's a parallel world. (0:09:03.70)
Kazuma Satou : Hey, this really is a parallel world! (0:09:05.21)
Kazuma Satou : W-Wait, I'm really going to be using magic (0:09:07.94)
Kazuma Satou : and going on adventures
in this world from now on?
Kazuma Satou : Goodbye, shut-in life! Hello, new world! (0:09:18.37)
Kazuma Satou : I can really start anew in this world! (0:09:22.31)
Kazuma Satou : Hey, shut up. (0:09:26.15)
Kazuma Satou : What am I going to do if everyone
thinks I'm friends with a crazy woman?
Kazuma Satou : More importantly, isn't there something you're
supposed to give me at a time like this?
Kazuma Satou : Look at what I'm wearing. I'm in a tracksuit. (0:09:35.47)
Kazuma Satou : Here I am in a fantasy world,
and all I have is a single tracksuit.
Kazuma Satou : Isn't there a bare minimum of
starter equipment I should—
Kazuma Satou : Wh-What the heck?! Stop! Stop it! (0:09:53.97)
Kazuma Satou : I get it, okay?! I'm sorry! (0:09:55.99)
Kazuma Satou : If you hate it that much,
then you can go home.
Kazuma Satou : I'll work out the rest on my own. (0:10:00.94)
Aqua : What are you talking about?! (0:10:03.03)
Aqua : I'm in trouble because I can't go back! (0:10:04.85)
Aqua : What do I do? Huh? What am I gonna do? (0:10:06.76)
Aqua : What am I supposed to do from now on?! (0:10:08.69)
Kazuma Satou : Hey, calm down, Goddess. (0:10:12.80)
Kazuma Satou : Times like these call for guilds. (0:10:14.51)
Kazuma Satou : Going to places like that to gather
intel is what you do in RPGs.
Aqua : Huh? You're supposed to be
some game otaku shut-in.
Aqua : Why are you so reliable? (0:10:25.52)
Kazuma Satou : All right! Let's go, Goddess. (0:10:27.70)
Aqua : Hey, wait. (0:10:28.89)
Aqua : You can call me "Goddess" if you like, (0:10:31.33)
Aqua : but when you can, call me "Aqua,"
so we don't cause a commotion.
Kazuma Satou : I get it. (0:10:36.65)
Kazuma Satou : If you're a goddess, (0:10:38.26)
Kazuma Satou : wouldn't you know where we can
find an adventurer's guild?
Aqua : I'm a goddess. (0:10:42.45)
Aqua : There's no way I'd know about
every little lowly place like that.
Kazuma Satou : This girl's useless... (0:10:49.22)
EXTRA : Thanks for your business. (0:10:51.17)
EXTRA : Thank you. Up we go... (0:10:52.21)
EXTRA : Adventurer's Guild (0:10:55.47)
Kazuma Satou : Looks like this is the place. (0:10:57.63)
Aqua : Scary! (0:11:04.06)
EXTRA : Welcome! If you're here to eat,
please take any open seat.
EXTRA : If you need job guidance,
head to the counter inside.
Kazuma Satou : Thank you. (0:11:14.32)
Mono Arakure : Hey! (0:11:21.67)
Mono Arakure : Haven't seen you around here before. (0:11:23.57)
Mono Arakure : And what's with the weird clothes? (0:11:26.30)
Kazuma Satou : Oh, we've actually come a long way,
and we just got into town.
Kazuma Satou : I want to become an adventurer
to fight the Devil King's army, too.
Mono Arakure : Is that right, you reckless punk? (0:11:41.15)
Mono Arakure : Welcome to the gates of Hell! (0:11:43.59)
Mono Arakure : If you're lookin' for the guild
admission desk, it's over there.
Aqua : Hey. (0:11:52.44)
Aqua : How can you make up a story
like that on the spot?
Kazuma Satou : Listen, Aqua. (0:11:58.35)
Aqua : Okay. (0:11:59.61)
Kazuma Satou : Today we'll register with a guild
and find a place to stay the night.
Aqua : G-Got it. I don't know anything about games, (0:12:04.40)
Aqua : but I guess that's how it works
in worlds like this, right?
Kazuma Satou : Exactly. All right, let's go. (0:12:10.25)
Aqua : Oh, wait. (0:12:12.90)
Aqua : You seem like such a capable guy. (0:12:14.64)
Aqua : Why were you a shut-in otaku with
no friends or girlfriend before?
Aqua : Why did you seclude yourself every day
and act like such a shut-in NEET?
Kazuma Satou : Stop calling me a shut-in NEET, you bitch. (0:12:24.93)
Kazuma Satou : Don't lump "shut-in" and "NEET" together. (0:12:26.87)
Luna : Hello. What can I do for you today? (0:12:31.54)
Kazuma Satou : Um, we'd like to become adventurers. (0:12:34.35)
Luna : I see. (0:12:36.81)
Luna : In that case, you'll first need
to pay the registration fee.
Kazuma Satou : Sure, sure... (0:12:41.52)
Kazuma Satou : Huh? Registration fee? (0:12:42.98)
Kazuma Satou : Do you have any money? (0:12:46.06)
Aqua : You dragged me here without any warning. (0:12:48.45)
Aqua : Of course I don't. (0:12:50.72)
Kazuma Satou : This girl's useless... (0:12:52.58)
EXTRA : Are you ready to order? (0:13:02.66)
Kazuma Satou : Um, I'm still thinking about it... (0:13:04.66)
EXTRA : Please take your time. (0:13:07.70)
Kazuma Satou : Hey, what should we do? (0:13:09.90)
Kazuma Satou : We've already hit a roadblock. (0:13:11.71)
Kazuma Satou : Normally we'd get a minimal
amount of equipment
Kazuma Satou : and enough to cover basic
living expenses, at least.
Kazuma Satou : This is totally inhospitable. (0:13:19.04)
Aqua : There goes your reliability, just like that. (0:13:20.79)
Aqua : Well, I guess it was inevitable.
You are a shut-in NEET.
Kazuma Satou : Don't call me a shut-in NEET. (0:13:26.13)
Aqua : Fine. I guess it's my turn now. (0:13:27.53)
Aqua : Let me show you what a goddess can do! (0:13:30.79)
Aqua : You there, priest! State your denomination! (0:13:36.84)
Aqua : I'm Aqua. (0:13:40.15)
Aqua : Yes, the object of worship for the
Religious Order of Axis: the goddess Aqua!
Aqua : If thou art one of my followers... (0:13:46.65)
Aqua : It'd be a huge help if you
could lend me some money!
EXTRA : I'm in the Eris Sect, actually... (0:13:54.10)
Aqua : Oh, you are? I'm sorry. (0:13:59.92)
EXTRA : Oh, young lady, are you with the Axis Sect? (0:14:03.55)
EXTRA : The relationship of the goddesses Aqua and
Eris is that of superior and subordinate.
EXTRA : This must be fate. I saw earlier that
you couldn't cover the fee, correct?
EXTRA : Here. Please consider this
Eris-sama's divine blessing.
EXTRA : Still, no matter how devout a believer you
are, you mustn't call yourself a goddess.
Aqua : Uh, yes. I'm sorry. (0:14:25.70)
Aqua : Thank you very much... (0:14:28.15)
Aqua : He didn't even believe that I'm a goddess. (0:14:33.04)
Aqua : By the way, Eris is a goddess ranked beneath me. (0:14:36.43)
Aqua : A believer in my subordinate took pity on me (0:14:41.77)
Aqua : and lent me money... (0:14:46.09)
Kazuma Satou : Y-Yeah... (0:14:48.86)
Kazuma Satou : Um, we've brought the registration fee. (0:14:56.45)
Luna : S-Sure... (0:15:00.35)
Kazuma Satou : Something told me she didn't want
to make eye contact with us.
Luna : Allow me to formally explain. (0:15:06.61)
Luna : Adventurers each have their own occupations. (0:15:08.67)
Luna : This is your registration card. (0:15:12.57)
Luna : It keeps track of how many
monsters you've vanquished.
Luna : As your level increases, you'll earn
points that you can use to learn skills,
Luna : so please work hard to raise your level. (0:15:23.12)
Luna : Now, both of you, please hold
your hands over this crystal.
Kazuma Satou : Like this? (0:15:30.63)
Luna : With this, you will each
learn your current status,
Luna : so please choose your desired
occupation based on your stats.
Kazuma Satou : Here it comes! (0:15:53.60)
Kazuma Satou : Now my tremendous latent
abilities will be made apparent,
Kazuma Satou : and there'll be an uproar
throughout the guild!
Luna : Yes, thank you very much. (0:16:03.85)
Luna : Satou Kazuma-san, is it? Let me see... (0:16:06.47)
Luna : Average across the board. (0:16:10.19)
Luna : With the exception of
decently high intelligence...
Luna : Oh? Your luck is extraordinarily high. (0:16:14.41)
Luna : Of course, luck isn't a very
essential stat for an adventurer...
Luna : With this much luck, (0:16:21.81)
Luna : I'd recommend becoming a
merchant or something similar...
Kazuma Satou : Hey, she's disapproving of my adventurer's
lifestyle right off the bat.
Kazuma Satou : What's going on? (0:16:30.62)
Kazuma Satou : U-Um, (0:16:32.12)
Kazuma Satou : make my primary job "adventurer," please. (0:16:34.02)
Kazuma Satou : W-Well, you can always
change jobs when you level up!
Kazuma Satou : Y-You're right! (0:16:41.02)
Kazuma Satou : The weakest job, huh? (0:16:43.87)
Luna : Aside from your intelligence
being below average,
Luna : and your luck being the
lowest possible level,
Luna : all of your stats are
drastically above average!
Aqua : What? Does that mean I'm really amazing? (0:16:57.65)
Aqua : A-Amazing is an understatement! (0:16:59.70)
Luna : The mage class, which requires
intelligence, is out of the question,
Luna : but other than that,
you can be anything you want!
Luna : A crusader, sword master, arch priest... (0:17:08.96)
Luna : Nearly any advanced class right from the start! (0:17:12.39)
Aqua : I see. It's a shame there's
no "goddess" occupation,
Aqua : but in my case, maybe I'll be an
arch priest who heals her allies.
Luna : An arch priest! (0:17:21.68)
Luna : An almighty class that commands
all recovery and support magic,
Luna : and that boasts enough strength
to stand at the front line!
Luna : Without further ado, welcome to
our adventurer's guild, Aqua-sama.
Luna : All of our staff will be looking
forward to your future exploits.
EXTRA : Starting off as an arch priest is incredible! (0:17:45.86)
Mono Arakure : Someone like you might actually be able
to beat the Devil King, you reckless girl!
Kazuma Satou : No event like this is going to happen for me? (0:17:54.41)
Aqua : It's the adventurer's life for
us starting today, Kazuma!
Kazuma Satou : I thought you absolutely hated all this. (0:18:00.97)
Aqua : Did I? (0:18:03.65)
Kazuma Satou : Well, anyway, everything thus far has
been basically character creation.
Kazuma Satou : Now our adventure is finally about to begin! (0:18:17.11)
Kazuma Satou : Wait, this isn't right! (0:20:08.00)
Aqua : What isn't? (0:20:09.54)
Kazuma Satou : No, wait a second! (0:20:11.09)
Aqua : What's wrong? Did you forget to
use the bathroom before bed?
Aqua : It's dark. Want me to go with you? (0:20:16.80)
Kazuma Satou : No need! It's not that! (0:20:18.61)
EXTRA : Keep it down! (0:20:21.77)
Kazuma Satou : W-We're sorry! (0:20:23.02)
Aqua : W-We're sorry! (0:20:23.02)
Kazuma Satou : We didn't come here to be laborers. (0:20:29.24)
Aqua : Oh, that's right! (0:20:31.79)
Aqua : I need you to defeat the Devil King,
or I'll never be able to go home!
Kazuma Satou : Her intelligence stat was
lower than a human's.
Kazuma Satou : All of the monsters near town have
been long since exterminated.
Kazuma Satou : With no monsters, there's no need
for anyone to give us any fetch quests.
Kazuma Satou : I didn't want to learn something so realistic... (0:20:57.38)
EXTRA : Thanks for your business! (0:21:00.64)
Aqua : What? (0:21:15.94)
Kazuma Satou : It's nothing. (0:21:20.58)
Aqua : Say... (0:21:22.38)
Aqua : I was just thinking. (0:21:24.12)
Aqua : Let's go away from here and do a kill quest. (0:21:26.09)
Kazuma Satou : We're level one. We don't even
have full sets of equipment.
Aqua : It'll be fine. As long as you have
me around, it'll be over in a flash!
Aqua : You can count on it! (0:21:37.34)
Kazuma Satou : I feel very uneasy about this. (0:21:39.27)
Aqua : Who do you think I am? (0:21:41.40)
Kazuma Satou : That's right. You are a goddess, after all. (0:21:44.37)
Aqua : Yeah! Leave it to me. (0:21:48.60)
Kazuma Satou : And so our adventure began, (0:21:52.17)
Kazuma Satou : for real this... time. (0:21:55.95)
Kazuma Satou : Mom, I've come to a parallel world.
I feel refreshed, as if I've been reborn.
I've found a home and a job, and I'm full of energy.
And best of all, a goddess has come along with me.
So please don't worry about me.
I'll be all right... I'll be all right... Probably...

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07:14 pm
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