A man said to the Universe:
	"Sir, I exist!"
	"However," replied the Universe,
	"the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
		-- Stephen Crane

A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time.  After he'd given her
some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.  Before
he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to
her aid.
	Shortly after they separated, he heard a single shot, followed quickly
by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
in a small clearing with a very nervous man staring down her gun barrel.
	"He claims this is his," she said, obviously very upset.
	"She can keep it, she can keep it!" the wide-eyed man replied.  "I
just want to get my saddle back!"

A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions
he is able to answer.
		-- Ronald Colman

A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a
late card games.
	"You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife,"
he said.  "First, I kill the engine a block away from the house and coast
into the garage.  Then I open the door slowly, take off my shoes, and
tiptoe to our room.  But just as I'm about to slide into bed, she always
wakes up and gives me hell."
	"I make a big racket when I go home," his friend replied.
	"You do?"
	"Sure.  I honk the horn, slam the door, turn on all the lights,
stomp up to the bedroom and give my wife a big kiss.  `Hi, Alice,' I say.
`How about a little smooch for your old man?'"
	"And what does she say?" his friend asked in disbelief.
	"She doesn't say anything," his buddy replied.  "She always pretends
she's asleep."

A man was kneeling by a grave in a cemetery, crying and praying very loudly,
	"Oh why..eeeee did you die...eeeeee, Oh Why..eeeeee,
why did you Di......eeee"
The caretaker walks up, pardons himself and asks politely,
	"Excuse me, sir, but I've been seeing you for hours now,
carrying on at this grave.  You must have been very close to the deceased."
	"No, I never met him.  Oh why....eeeee did you dieeeeee,
why....eeeee did you.."
	"Sir, you say you never met this person, yet you carry on so?
Tell, me who is buried here?"
	"My wife's first husband."

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.
		-- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

A man who carries a cat by its tail learns something he can learn
in no other way.

A man who fishes for marlin in ponds
will put his money in Etruscan bonds.

A man who likes to lie in bed can usually
find a girl willing to listen to him.

A man who turns green has eschewed protein.

A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey.

A man with one watch knows what time it is.
A man with two watches is never quite sure.

A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.

A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.

A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.

A man would still do something out of sheer perversity - he would create
destruction and chaos - just to gain his point... and if all this could in
turn be analyzed and prevented by predicting that it would occur, then man
would deliberately go mad to prove his point.
		-- Feodor Dostoevsky, "Notes From the Underground"

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

A man's best friend is his dogma.

A man's gotta know his limitations.
		-- Clint Eastwood, "Dirty Harry"

A man's house is his castle.
		-- Sir Edward Coke