A major, with wonderful force,
Called out in Hyde Park for a horse.
	All the flowers looked round,
	But no horse could be found;
So he just rhododendron, of course.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
		-- Carrie Snow

A man always needs to remember one thing about
a beautiful woman.  Somewhere, somebody's tired of her.

A man always remembers his first love with special
tenderness, but after that begins to bunch them.
		-- H. L. Mencken

A man arrived home early to find his wife in the arms of his best friend,
who swore how much they were in love.  To quiet the enraged husband, the
lover suggested, "Friends shouldn't fight, let's play gin rummy.  If I win,
you get a divorce so I can marry her.  If you win, I promise never to see
her again.  Okay?"
	"Alright," agreed the husband.  "But how about a quarter a point
on the side to make it interesting?"

A man can have two, maybe three love affairs while he's married.  After
that it's cheating.
		-- Yves Montand

A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself.
		-- Du Bois

A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it.  As he
was hanging there for dear life, he looked up and cried out,
	"Is anybody there?"
A deep majestic voice answered,
	"Yes my son, I am here.  What do you need?"
	"Help me!!" cried the man.
	"I will help you", said the voice, "Just let go of the branch and
you'll be safe.  All you have to do is trust."
The man thought for a moment and cried out:
	"Anybody ELSE up there?"

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles
in the road.
		-- Alexander Smith

A man in love is incomplete until he is married.  Then he is finished.
		-- Zsa Zsa Gabor, "Newsweek"

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
		-- Brendan Francis

A man is crawling through the Sahara desert when he is approached by another
man riding on a camel.  When the rider gets close enough, the crawling man
whispers through his sun-parched lips, "Water... please... can you give...
water..."
	"I'm sorry," replies the man on the camel, "I don't have any water
with me.  But I'd be delighted to sell you a necktie."
	"Tie?" whispers the man.  "I need *water*."
	"They're only four dollars apiece."
	"I need *water*."
	"Okay, okay, say two for seven dollars."
	"Please!  I need *water*!", says the man.
	"I don't have any water, all I have are ties," replies the salesman,
and he heads off into the distance.
	The man, losing track of time, crawls for what seems like days.
Finally, nearly dead, sun-blind and with his skin peeling and blistering, he
sees a restaurant in the distance.  Summoning the last of his strength he
staggers up to the door and confronts the head waiter.
	"Water... can I get... water," the dying man manages to stammer.
	"I'm sorry, sir, ties required."

A man is known by the company he organizes.
		-- Ambrose Bierce

A man is like a rusty wheel on a rusty cart,
He sings his song as he rattles along and then he falls apart.
		-- Richard Thompson

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be
bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
		-- W. Somerset Maugham, "The Circle"

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
		-- Samuel Johnson

A man may sometimes be forgiven the kiss to which he is not entitled,
but never the kiss he has not the initiative to claim.

A man may well bring a horse to the water,
but he cannot make him drink with he will.
		-- John Heywood

A man of genius makes no mistakes.
His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.
		-- James Joyce, "Ulysses"

A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.