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Teppen—!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Episode 12

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Yayoi Sakamoto : It's all over. (0:00:55.04)
Yomogi Takahashi : Yeah. (0:00:57.04)
Yuzu Hosono : That's true. (0:00:58.12)
Yayoi Sakamoto : We were kicked out of Takako-so. (0:00:59.35)
Yomogi Takahashi : Yeah. (0:01:02.02)
Yuzu Hosono : That's true. (0:01:02.98)
Yayoi Sakamoto : And our dreams for the Teppen Grand Prix... (0:01:04.03)
Yayoi Sakamoto : I'm sorry, Yomogi, Yuzu. (0:01:07.56)
Yayoi Sakamoto : If only I hadn't saved the world! (0:01:09.71)
Yayoi Sakamoto : If only I hadn't claimed a hero's glory! (0:01:13.17)
Yuzu Hosono : It wasn't your fault, Yayoi! (0:01:15.80)
Yomogi Takahashi : She's right! We were up there with you too. (0:01:17.43)
Yomogi Takahashi : If only I had stopped you then... (0:01:20.91)
Yomogi Takahashi : As Young Wai-Wai's tsukkomi,
I'm an embarrassment.
(0:01:24.33)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Yuzu. Yomogi. (0:01:27.30)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Let's forget it. (0:01:33.65)
Yayoi Sakamoto : This isn't like us at all. Let's cheer up. (0:01:35.05)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Oh, yeah! Since everyone at Takako-so
is going to the main event,
(0:01:38.32)
Yayoi Sakamoto : why don't we form a cheer squad for them? (0:01:41.78)
Yomogi Takahashi : That sounds great! (0:01:44.83)
Yomogi Takahashi : We'll be so happy if they do well. (0:01:46.19)
Yuzu Hosono : Think of how exciting it'll be if they win! (0:01:48.84)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Then we'll have to thank them! (0:01:51.33)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Like, "thanks for the excitement!" (0:01:53.43)
Yomogi Takahashi : Yeah, "thanks for the excitement." (0:01:55.49)
Yuzu Hosono : Sure. "Thanks for the excitement." (0:01:57.41)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Yeah, yeah! Thanks for the... (0:01:59.33)
Yomogi Takahashi : I don't know. I just... (0:02:03.04)
Yuzu Hosono : I'm happy to see them succeed, but... (0:02:05.76)
Yomogi Takahashi : I just... can't. (0:02:13.29)
Yomogi Takahashi : I can't shift gears that fast. (0:02:15.39)
Yomogi Takahashi : I really wanted it. (0:02:17.37)
Yomogi Takahashi : I really wanted to make people laugh. (0:02:19.59)
Yomogi Takahashi : I really wanted to make it to the top. (0:02:21.28)
Yayoi Sakamoto : It isn't fair! It isn't fair! It isn't fair! (0:02:25.08)
Yayoi Sakamoto : I wanna be in the main event! (0:02:27.17)
Yayoi Sakamoto : There's so much more we can do! (0:02:28.74)
Yayoi Sakamoto : We were gonna be so hilarious! (0:02:30.46)
Yuzu Hosono : I really don't want things to end like this. (0:02:32.63)
Yuzu Hosono : Steward? (0:02:37.63)
Yayoi Sakamoto : How'd you get in? (0:02:39.16)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Wait. How long were you there? (0:02:40.27)
Yomogi Takahashi : Since the start of the scene?! (0:02:45.01)
Yuzu Hosono : You should have said something. (0:02:46.89)
Yuzu Hosono : I had to ask him not to
follow me to Takako-so.
(0:03:01.66)
Yomogi Takahashi : Is that right? (0:03:05.38)
Yayoi Sakamoto : But why did you show up now? (0:03:06.67)
Yuzu Hosono : Oh? What is it? (0:03:14.61)
Yomogi Takahashi : A dumbbell?! (0:03:17.59)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Something's written on it. (0:03:18.56)
Yayoi Sakamoto : "To the members of Young Wai-Wai. (0:03:21.21)
Yayoi Sakamoto : You have been entered to compete
in the comeback round."
(0:03:23.48)
Yomogi Takahashi : Oh, yes! (0:04:08.26)
Yomogi Takahashi : We still had a chance! (0:04:09.95)
Yuzu Hosono : We aren't finished with the
Teppen Grand Prix yet!
(0:04:11.84)
Yayoi Sakamoto : We get another chance to perform together! (0:04:15.39)
Yuzu Hosono : We can do more gags together!
The three of us!
(0:04:18.72)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Hurray! (0:04:21.47)
Yomogi Takahashi : Praise the gods of comedy! (0:04:22.67)
Yayoi Sakamoto : A comedy carnival? (0:04:25.80)
Yomogi Takahashi : If they're signed up for the comeback round,
that means they're all our rivals.
(0:04:40.55)
Yayoi Sakamoto : I wonder what they're like. (0:04:44.01)
Yuzu Hosono : So do I. (0:04:45.89)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Too bad. I wish we could have performed, too. (0:04:53.52)
Yuzu Hosono : Oh, well. The deadline for
registering was yesterday.
(0:04:56.50)
Yomogi Takahashi : Huh? Yeah, we are. (0:05:03.71)
Yomogi Takahashi : Don't talk to us like that. It's so rude! (0:05:13.65)
Yuzu Hosono : But who are you? (0:05:15.95)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Are you guys appearing
in the comeback round?
(0:05:36.19)
Yomogi Takahashi : Huh? (0:05:52.01)
Yuzu Hosono : Namahage? (0:05:52.77)
Yuzu Hosono : Could it be? These three too? (0:06:06.96)
Yomogi Takahashi : They keep getting weirder and weirder! (0:06:25.48)
Yuzu Hosono : They're coming on so strong, it's
actually drowning out their style.
(0:06:28.98)
Yuzu Hosono : These are the trios going
to the comeback round?
(0:06:31.37)
Yomogi Takahashi : Quit weaponizing your local cuisine! (0:06:42.99)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Who is it this time? (0:06:48.75)
Yayoi Sakamoto : They were crazy. (0:07:30.93)
Yomogi Takahashi : Yeah, literally. (0:07:32.18)
Yuzu Hosono : Their intros had such impact that
I don't even remember the jokes.
(0:07:33.42)
Yomogi Takahashi : I guess that sort of thing is comedy too, (0:07:38.04)
Yomogi Takahashi : but I want us to compete on
the strength of our gags.
(0:07:40.60)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Then let's start writing new ones! (0:07:43.69)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Let's hit 'em with the best we got! (0:07:45.52)
Kana Kiyotsuru : I heard about what's going on. (0:07:48.66)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Kana-chan?! (0:07:50.97)
Chitose Amano : Kana. You're inside. Take off your shoes. (0:07:52.10)
Iroha Akishika : Excuse us! We just dropped by. (0:07:54.67)
Yomogi Takahashi : Bullet Kunoichi! (0:07:56.71)
Yomogi Takahashi : Why are you guys here? (0:07:58.24)
Kana Kiyotsuru : Come on, we aren't strangers. (0:07:59.63)
Kana Kiyotsuru : We were your housemates at Takako-so! (0:08:01.45)
Kana Kiyotsuru : If you're having trouble with
your routine, we can help!
(0:08:03.97)
Miyu Komatsuzaki : That settles it! The theme
is Ibaraki versus Gunma!
(0:08:07.64)
Misao Ushiku : Yeah, that's perfect. (0:08:10.35)
Yomogi Takahashi : No, it isn't! (0:08:12.23)
Yomogi Takahashi : But where the heck did you come from? (0:08:13.59)
Hina Kasama : Kids in Ibaraki learn to camouflage
themselves three months after birth.
(0:08:15.61)
Hina Kasama : They must, to survive. (0:08:19.69)
Yomogi Takahashi : Is their life really that harsh? (0:08:20.92)
Saeka Yabukita : We got worried and decided to visit.
We thought things might turn out like this.
(0:08:22.73)
Hikari Jougasaki : If we can't give Young
Wai-Wai practical advice,
(0:08:27.37)
Hikari Jougasaki : it'll just be a distraction for them. (0:08:30.27)
Mako Shirakabe : People who are really stingy with their
advice never actually help, do they?
(0:08:33.10)
Miyu Komatsuzaki : Oh, stuff it! (0:08:37.90)
Miyu Komatsuzaki : You think you can give
them good advice, then?
(0:08:39.76)
Saeka Yabukita : Yes, of course. (0:08:42.36)
Saeka Yabukita : First of all, we'll have them
wear this when they go on stage.
(0:08:43.81)
Yomogi Takahashi : It's a bribe! (0:08:49.88)
Yuina Rokkatei : The horoscope says the stars will be
aligned for Young Wai-Wai that day.
(0:08:50.93)
Yomogi Takahashi : Invaders! (0:08:55.64)
Yomogi Takahashi : Why'd you come in that way? (0:08:58.11)
Yuina Rokkatei : And your lucky charm is
a space alien's head!
(0:08:59.89)
Chihori Hokuto : What? Seriously?! (0:09:02.61)
Mone Ishiya : Want me to teach you my beam saber bit? (0:09:03.83)
Yomogi Takahashi : This room is too small for all of you! (0:09:06.39)
Kana Kiyotsuru : But we're all worried about you! (0:09:09.37)
Yuina Rokkatei : We want you at the main event! Definitely! (0:09:12.54)
Mako Shirakabe : Then why don't we all take turns
writing parts of the routine?
(0:09:14.80)
Miyu Komatsuzaki : We'll start it with "Ibaraki banzai!" (0:09:18.67)
Yomogi Takahashi : That makes the topic too small! (0:09:21.72)
Mone Ishiya : How about "space banzai"? (0:09:23.73)
Yomogi Takahashi : That makes it too big! (0:09:25.52)
Saeka Yabukita : Why don't we drop cash
from a helicopter, then?
(0:09:26.92)
Yomogi Takahashi : Another bribe? (0:09:30.16)
Yomogi Takahashi : You only see that at the
end of heist movies!
(0:09:31.41)
Miyu Komatsuzaki : Then we'll drop natto instead. (0:09:34.13)
Yomogi Takahashi : That's harassment! (0:09:36.10)
Mone Ishiya : I always use the beam saber
to heat up the onsen.
(0:09:37.21)
Yomogi Takahashi : Enough of the beam saber jokes! (0:09:40.23)
Kana Kiyotsuru : How about everything from the birth
of the planet to the present?
(0:09:42.56)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Did you think of something? (0:09:42.98)
Yuzu Hosono : Yeah. Why don't we go with this theme? (0:09:45.06)
Yomogi Takahashi : That's too long! (0:09:46.11)
Chitose Amano : A traffic jam?! (0:10:57.08)
Yuzu Hosono : Yeah. There was some kind of accident. (0:10:58.33)
Yayoi Sakamoto : It isn't your fault, Steward. (0:11:02.59)
Yomogi Takahashi : But how long will this traffic jam last? (0:11:04.35)
Chitose Amano : At this rate, they might not even make it. (0:11:28.74)
Kana Kiyotsuru : Oh, no! (0:11:31.59)
Misao Ushiku : They're on last, so they
still have some time.
(0:11:32.50)
Yuina Rokkatei : Saeka-san! Can't you send them
a helicopter or something?
(0:11:36.25)
Saeka Yabukita : It's impossible. It would take
too much time to arrange.
(0:11:39.00)
Chihori Hokuto : There aren't any UFOs available, either. (0:11:43.01)
Mako Shirakabe : Then let's ask them to delay! (0:11:45.77)
Hikari Jougasaki : That's right. If we talk
to the management...
(0:11:47.83)
Kana Kiyotsuru : I know, but this is too unfair! (0:11:58.28)
Kana Kiyotsuru : Yayoi-chan kept saying she wanted to
go to the main event with everyone.
(0:12:00.81)
Kana Kiyotsuru : But now... (0:12:04.99)
Yuzu Hosono : If we catch the next train, we might make it. (0:12:13.78)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Let's hurry! (0:12:16.80)
Yuina Rokkatei : They're already on the fourth team. (0:12:32.80)
Yayoi Sakamoto : We made it! (0:12:51.32)
Yuzu Hosono : I'm out of breath. (0:12:52.82)
Yomogi Takahashi : We should just barely make it in time. (0:12:54.33)
Yuzu Hosono : I wonder how the comeback round is going. (0:12:59.83)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Let's check. (0:13:02.67)
Yomogi Takahashi : Chochune, Michinoku Blizzard, (0:13:04.33)
Yomogi Takahashi : and then The Fore Seasons and
Fujiyama Touchdown, was it?
(0:13:06.80)
Yomogi Takahashi : How're those guys doing? (0:13:10.18)
Yuzu Hosono : They seemed really funny,
with their costumes and stuff.
(0:13:12.24)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Who's in first? Never heard of this trio. (0:13:15.74)
Yuzu Hosono : And the four teams we met... (0:13:18.32)
Yuzu Hosono : Huh? (0:13:20.23)
Yomogi Takahashi : They're bombing! (0:13:21.55)
Yomogi Takahashi : That can't be right! (0:13:22.97)
Yomogi Takahashi : They came out swinging like they were
supposed to be the tough opponents!
(0:13:24.50)
Yomogi Takahashi : They even got their own introduction scenes! (0:13:28.45)
Yuzu Hosono : What was the point of them acting so cocky? (0:13:31.42)
Yayoi Sakamoto : I guess they only looked funny. (0:13:33.70)
Yomogi Takahashi : What now? (0:13:37.12)
Yayoi Sakamoto : How long does "temporary" mean? (0:14:02.15)
Yomogi Takahashi : Temporary means temporary. (0:14:04.64)
Yomogi Takahashi : But there's no way we'll make it now. (0:14:07.21)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Then let's get off here! (0:14:09.15)
Yuzu Hosono : We can't. Look. (0:14:11.15)
Yuzu Hosono : We're on a bridge! (0:14:13.17)
Chitose Amano : Oh, come on. Aren't they here yet? (0:14:20.37)
Yomogi Takahashi : That's it. We'll never make it now. (0:14:36.62)
Yuzu Hosono : We let everyone at Takako-so down. (0:14:39.44)
Yuzu Hosono : After they did so much to encourage us... (0:14:42.20)
Yomogi Takahashi : Unbelievable. Disqualified for being late... (0:14:44.43)
Yuzu Hosono : Yayoi? (0:14:48.70)
Yayoi Sakamoto : That was so fun! (0:14:50.01)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Oh, sorry. (0:14:52.70)
Yayoi Sakamoto : I'm really sad and frustrated, too. (0:14:53.86)
Yayoi Sakamoto : But when I realized it was over and
thought about everything we did...
(0:14:56.15)
Yayoi Sakamoto : "It was so much fun!" (0:15:01.69)
Yayoi Sakamoto : That was all I could think about. (0:15:03.97)
Yomogi Takahashi : How can you say that at a time like this? (0:15:06.61)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Yeah, I know. I'm sorry! (0:15:08.86)
Yomogi Takahashi : It really was a lot of fun, though. (0:15:10.71)
Yomogi Takahashi : Especially when we were in Takako-so. (0:15:13.34)
Yomogi Takahashi : I felt like we were laughing the whole time. (0:15:15.49)
Yuzu Hosono : That's right. I had fun, too. (0:15:17.73)
Yuzu Hosono : Everyone at Takako-so was such a character. (0:15:20.34)
Yuzu Hosono : At first, I didn't think we'd get along. (0:15:22.73)
Yayoi Sakamoto : You were worried about that? (0:15:25.22)
Yuzu Hosono : Well, yeah. (0:15:27.29)
Yuzu Hosono : When I met Miyu-chan,
she handed me a natto bean,
(0:15:28.41)
Yuzu Hosono : and said, "Here, a sign of friendship." (0:15:31.65)
Yomogi Takahashi : "A clean vote for Ibaraki!"
Sayin' stuff like that.
(0:15:33.72)
Yomogi Takahashi : But my vote's worth more
than one slimy natto bean!
(0:15:36.88)
Yomogi Takahashi : It ain't even close to a fair trade. (0:15:40.13)
Yuzu Hosono : When she got in a fight with Kana-chan,
she whipped out the natto and yelled, "eat it!"
(0:15:42.25)
Yomogi Takahashi : I get that a lot of Kansai
folks don't like natto,
(0:15:47.17)
Yomogi Takahashi : but she used it like a
crucifix against Dracula!
(0:15:50.63)
Yomogi Takahashi : Is that what she thinks
of her local cuisine?
(0:15:53.13)
Yayoi Sakamoto : And then Kana-chan almost turned to dust. (0:15:55.70)
Yomogi Takahashi : No, she didn't! (0:15:57.95)
Yomogi Takahashi : If natto made Kansai folks evaporate,
there'd be tragedies all over Osaka!
(0:15:58.91)
Yomogi Takahashi : You gonna make us all go extinct?! (0:16:03.13)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Extinction would suck!
I love Osaka and Kansai!
(0:16:05.41)
Yomogi Takahashi : Well, I'm glad to hear that. (0:16:09.52)
Yayoi Sakamoto : People in Kansai are all
funny, warm, bipedal,
(0:16:10.90)
Yayoi Sakamoto : omnivorous, and don't have tails! (0:16:15.48)
Yomogi Takahashi : Are you comparing us to dinosaurs? (0:16:18.42)
Yomogi Takahashi : Who the heck jokes about the Reiwa Era
and the Cretaceous Period together?
(0:16:20.86)
Yuzu Hosono : We were talking about extinction, so
your mind went to dinosaurs, right?
(0:16:23.88)
Yuzu Hosono : But don't worry. Even if a giant asteroid
fell, the people of Kansai would repel it!
(0:16:26.61)
Yomogi Takahashi : These Kansai folk aren't just for show... (0:16:31.73)
Yomogi Takahashi : Forget that! The glow of Naniwa hearts
won't make a miracle happen!
(0:16:33.58)
Hina Kasama : How? (0:17:08.33)
Yomogi Takahashi : That's why you can't put Kansai
folk in a blast furnace!
(0:17:10.57)
Mako Shirakabe : What? What? What is happening? (0:17:15.46)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Yay! I don't know why, but
we're being recorded!
(0:17:17.47)
Yuzu Hosono : Like a live stream? (0:17:20.59)
Yomogi Takahashi : So what? There's enough of us to go around. (0:17:22.62)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Hey, will you make my eyes
sparkly and my nose pointier?
(0:17:24.84)
Yomogi Takahashi : Don't put filters on the video! (0:17:28.38)
Yuzu Hosono : I don't need all that, but would
you mind giving me a halo?
(0:17:29.74)
Yomogi Takahashi : You trying to look holy? (0:17:33.75)
Yomogi Takahashi : That's even more egotistical! (0:17:36.01)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Doesn't it seem like Chitose-chan likes
tsukkomi too much and gets carried away?
(0:17:47.01)
Yuzu Hosono : When she came back with, "What
kind of sun rises like that?"
(0:17:52.24)
Yuzu Hosono : I thought she'd peaked. (0:17:54.82)
Iroha Akishika : Young Wai-Wai is still gaining points! (0:17:56.50)
Kana Kiyotsuru : Go! Go! (0:17:59.02)
Yayoi Sakamoto : When I called Ibaraki "Ibaragi" once,
Hina-chan in Akudare Kingdom
(0:18:00.25)
Yayoi Sakamoto : blinked a death threat at me in Morse code. (0:18:04.64)
Miyu Komatsuzaki : Go for it! (0:18:08.82)
Yuzu Hosono : Around Takako-so, (0:18:10.28)
Yuzu Hosono : there are so many UFOs
appearing all the time,
(0:18:11.80)
Yuzu Hosono : it's practically a sci-fi pilgrimage site. (0:18:13.69)
Yayoi Sakamoto : I heard Saeka-san in Celebri-Tea
paid for those UFOs.
(0:18:16.06)
Yomogi Takahashi : Has she paid off the entire galaxy? (0:18:20.58)
Saeka Yabukita : Keep going! (0:18:24.80)
Yayoi Sakamoto : According to Yuina-chan in Invaders, (0:18:25.80)
Yayoi Sakamoto : space aliens that used to be all
silver are starting to turn yellow.
(0:18:27.92)
Yomogi Takahashi : The stress of intergalactic
ambition is aging their skin!
(0:18:31.98)
Yomogi Takahashi : Yeah, you said it! (0:18:39.67)
Miyu Komatsuzaki : They did it! (0:18:45.95)
Yomogi Takahashi : Aw, we didn't make it after all. (0:19:29.96)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Yeah. (0:19:32.76)
Yuzu Hosono : Too bad. (0:19:33.63)
Yuzu Hosono : Barbra-san? (0:19:40.98)
Yayoi Sakamoto : How? (0:19:42.15)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Takada-san! (0:19:46.98)
Yayoi Sakamoto : And that's it! We had so much fun. (0:22:53.05)
Yuzu Hosono : We had so much fun that we
can't talk about it all now.
(0:22:55.80)
Yuzu Hosono : To be continued online! (0:22:58.17)
Yomogi Takahashi : Let's talk now! I've never seen a
commercial say "to be continued online"
(0:22:59.17)
Yomogi Takahashi : and then link to anything even
remotely worth watching!
(0:23:02.26)
Yuzu Hosono : Oh, I know! (0:23:04.99)
Yuzu Hosono : We can stick QR codes to our clothes
and let people watch our gags online.
(0:23:06.34)
Yuzu Hosono : Then all we have to do is stand still! (0:23:09.53)
Yomogi Takahashi : Just get mannequins for that! (0:23:12.88)
Yomogi Takahashi : That isn't why we're here! (0:23:14.46)
Yuzu Hosono : I guess you're right.
If we're gonna be on stage,
(0:23:15.83)
Yuzu Hosono : we should be joking and making
the audience here laugh.
(0:23:18.57)
Yomogi Takahashi : Right? When the audience laughs,
we all have a blast.
(0:23:21.29)
Yayoi Sakamoto : Yeah! Yeah! (0:23:24.79)
Yayoi Sakamoto : We laugh, you laugh, (0:23:25.72)
Yayoi Sakamoto : and when everyone has a smile on their face,
then we're all at the Teppen!
(0:23:27.05)

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Teppen—!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!