An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an
anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt
already heard.  After some observations and rough calculations the
engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing.  A few minutes later
the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily as he now
has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.  This leaves the
mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he
was the subject of an anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the presence of
humour from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too
trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.

An engineer is someone who does list processing in FORTRAN.

An English judge, growing weary of the barrister's long-winded
summation, leaned over the bench and remarked, "I've heard your
arguments, Sir Geoffrey, and I'm none the wiser!"  Sir Geoffrey
responded, "That may be, Milord, but at least you're better informed!"

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
		-- A. P. Herbert

An evil mind is a great comfort.

An excellence-oriented '80s male does not wear a regular watch.  He wears
a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised
only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich
Protestant Golfer Magazine.  The advertisements are written in
incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote
excellence:

"The Rolex Hyperion.  An elegant new standard in quality excellence and
discriminating handcraftsmanship.  For the individual who is truly able
to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting
things by hand.  Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold.  No watch
parts or anything.  Just a great big chunk on your wrist.  Truly a
timeless statement.  For the individual who is very secure.  Who
doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful.
Much more successful than the people who laughed at him in high
school.  Because of his acne.  People who are probably nowhere near as
successful as he is now.  Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and
they'll see his Rolex Hyperion.  Hahahahahahahahaha."
		-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"

An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.

...an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and quite often
picturesque liar.
		-- Mark Twain

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a
very narrow field.
		-- Niels Bohr

An expert is a person who avoids the small errors
as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
		-- Benjamin Stolberg

An expert is one who knows more and more about less
and less until he knows absolutely nothing about everything.

An eye in a blue face
Saw an eye in a green face.
"That eye is like this eye"
Said the first eye,
"But in low place,
Not in high place."

An Hacker there was, one of the finest sort
Who controlled the system; graphics was his sport.
A manly man, to be a wizard able;
Many a protected file he had sitting on his table.
His console, when he typed, a man might hear
Clicking and feeping wind as clear,
Aye, and as loud as does the machine room bell
Where my lord Hacker was Prior of the cell.
The Rule of good St Savage or St Doeppnor
As old and strict he tended to ignore;
He let go by the things of yesterday
And took the modern world's more spacious way.
He did not rate that text as a plucked hen
Which says that Hackers are not holy men.
And that a hacker underworked is a mere
Fish out of water, flapping on the pier.
That is to say, a hacker out of his cloister.
That was a text he held not worth an oyster.
And I agreed and said his views were sound;
Was he to study till his head wend round
Poring over books in the cloisters?  Must he toil
As Andy bade and till the very soil?
Was he to leave the world upon the shelf?
Let Andy have his labor to himself!
		-- Chaucer
		   [well, almost.  Ed.]

An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.
		-- Simon Cameron

There are honest journalists like there are honest politicians.  When
bought they stay bought.
		-- Bill Moyers

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God.  Some of these
eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as
possible.
		-- Russell Hoban, "Pilgermann"

An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.

An idealist is one who helps the other fellow to make a profit.
		-- Henry Ford

An idle mind is worth two in the bush.

An infallible method of conciliating a tiger
is to allow oneself to be devoured.
		-- Konrad Adenauer