Am I ranting?  I hope so.  My ranting gets raves.

AMAZING BUT TRUE...
	If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to
	end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.

AMAZING BUT TRUE...
	There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it
	were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.

Ambidextrous, adj.:
	Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

AMBIGUITY:
	Telling the truth when you don't mean to.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
		-- Charlie McCarthy

Ambition, n.:
	An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while
	living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

America: born free and taxed to death.

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.
		-- Oscar Wilde

America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
		-- Allen Ginsberg

America is a melting pot.  You know, where those on the bottom get burned,
and the scum rises to the top.
		-- Utah Phillips

America is a stronger nation for the ACLU's uncompromising effort.
		-- President John F. Kennedy

The simple rights, the civil liberties from generations of struggle must not
be just fine words for patriotic holidays, words we subvert on weekdays, but
living, honored rules of conduct amongst us...I'm glad the American Civil
Liberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.
		-- Adlai E. Stevenson

The ACLU has stood foursquare against the recurring tides of hysteria that
from time to time threaten freedoms everywhere... Indeed, it is difficult
to appreciate how far our freedoms might have eroded had it not been for the
Union's valiant representation in the courts of the constitutional rights
of people of all persuasions, no matter how unpopular or even despised
by the majority they were at the time.
		-- former Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren

America is the country where you buy a lifetime
supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt
from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.
		-- John O'Hara

America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until
people got tired of living in a place called "Vespuccia" and changed its
name to "America".
		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

America works less, when you say "Union Yes!"

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective
employees be honest and hardworking.  It has even stopped hoping for
employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference
between the men's room and the women's room without having little
pictures on the doors.
		-- Dave Barry, "Urine Trouble, Mister"

American by birth; Texan by the grace of God.

American cars are made shoddily...
Cars made overseas are far superior.
		-- Barry Goldwater

[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything
we allow them short of hanging.
		-- Samuel Johnson

America is a large friendly dog in a small room.  Every time it wags its
tail it knocks over a chair.
		-- Arnold Toynbee

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
everybody and still nobody likes him.
		-- Jim Samuels