"Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!" 

Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real
disasters in life begin when you get what you want.

Being in politics is like being a football coach.  You have to be smart
enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important.
		-- Eugene McCarthy

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the
Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
		-- Blake Clark

Being owned by someone used to be called
slavery -- now it's called commitment.

Being popular is important.  Otherwise people might not like you.

Being the #2 man in the Justice Department under Ed Meese is akin to
standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.
		-- unnamed Justice Department official

Being ugly isn't illegal.  Yet.

Belief, n.:
	Something you do not believe.

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too
impossibly bad.
		-- Honore de Balzac

Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.

Ben, why didn't you tell me?
		-- Luke Skywalker

Bennett's Laws of Horticulture:
	(1)  Houses are for people to live in.
	(2)  Gardens are for plants to live in.
	(3)  There is no such thing as a houseplant.

Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence.
		-- Time Bandits

Benson's Dogma:
	ASCII is our god, and Unix is his profit.

Bento's Law: If It Can Break, It Will Break
Bento's Corollary: If It Can Break, Kris Can Send Mail About It

Berkeley had what we called "copycenter," which is "take it down
to the copy center and make as many copies as you want."
		-- Kirk McKusick

Bernard Shaw is an excellent man; he has not an enemy in the world, and
none of his friends like him either.
		-- Oscar Wilde

Bernard was a young eighty-three, not a gomer, and able to talk.  He'd been
transferred from MBH (Man's Best Hospital), the House's Rival.  Founded in
Colonial times by the WASPs, the insemination of MBH by non-WASPs had taken
place only mid-twentieth century with the token multidextrous Oriental
surgeon, and finally, with the token red-hot internal-medicine Jew.  Yet,
MBH was still Brooks Brothers, while the House was still the Garment District.
For Jews at MBH the password was "Dress British, Think Yiddish."  It was
rare to get a TURF from the MBH to the House, and the Fat Man was curious:
"Bernard, you went to the MBH, they did a great work-up, and you told them,
after they got done, you wanted to be transferred here. Why?"
	"I rilly don't know," said Bernard.
	"Was it the doctors there? The doctors you didn't like?"
	"The doctus?  Nah, the doctus I can't complain."
	"The test or the room?"
	"The tests or the room?  Vell, nah, about them I can't complain."
	"The nurses? The food?" asked Fats, but Bernard shook his head no.
Fats laughed and said, "Listen, Bernie, you went to the MBH, they did this
great workup, and when I asked you shy you came to the House of God, all you
tell me is, 'Nah, I can't complain.'  So why did you come here?  Why, Bernie,
why?"
	"Vhy I come heah?  Vell, said Bernie, "Heah I can complain."
		-- House of God

Bershere's Formula for Failure:
	There are only two kinds of people who fail: those who
	listen to nobody... and those who listen to everybody.