Besides the device, the box should contain:

* Eight little rectangular snippets of paper that say "WARNING"

* A plastic packet containing four 5/17 inch pilfer grommets and two
  club-ended 6/93 inch boxcar prawns.

YOU WILL NEED TO SUPPLY: a matrix wrench and 60,000 feet of tram
cable.

IF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED OR MISSING: You IMMEDIATELY should turn to your
spouse and say: "Margaret, you know why this country can't make a car
that can get all the way through the drive-through at Burger King
without a major transmission overhaul?  Because nobody cares, that's
why."

WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret.
		-- Dave Barry, "Read This First!"

Best Beer: A panel of tasters assembled by the Consumer's Union in 1969
judged Coors and Miller's High Life to be among the very best. Those who
doubt that beer is a serious subject might ponder its effect on American
history. For example, New England's first colonists decided to drop anchor
at Plymouth Rock instead of continuing on to Virginia because, as one of
them put it, "We could not now take time for further consideration, our
victuals being spent and especially our beer."
		-- Felton & Fowler's Best, Worst & Most Unusual

Best Mistakes In Films
	In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists
four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all
possible.
	In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a
street; and the entire film crew is reflected in the shop window.
	In "The Wrong Box", the roofs of Victorian London are emblazoned
with television aerials.
	In "Decameron Nights", Louis Jourdain stands on the deck of his
fourteenth century pirate ship; and a white lorry trundles down the hill
in the background.
	In "Viking Queen", set in the times of Boadicea, a wrist watch is
clearly visible on one of the leading characters.
		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

Best of all is never to have been born.
Second best is to die soon.

Beta test, v.:
	To voluntarily entrust one's data, one's livelihood and one's
	sanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three.
	In earlier days, virgins were often selected to beta test volcanos.

Better by far you should forget and
smile than that you should remember and be sad.
		-- Christina Rossetti

Better dead than mellow.

Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come
around while you have your life in such a mess.

Better hope you get what you want before you stop wanting it.

Better late than never.
		-- Titus Livius (Livy)

Better living a beggar than buried an emperor.

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus town

cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
	be good
}

Better the prince of some inferior court,
Than second, or less, in beatific light.
		-- Lucifer, Joost van den Vondel's "Lucifer"

Better to be nouveau than never to have been riche at all.

Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
		-- motto of the Christopher Society

Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.
		-- Jeff Cooper

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay,
left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate.  Using a
bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort
pushing boulders into a single word.
	It can be seen from 10,000 feet, silhouetted against the snow.
Government officials exchanged memos full of circumlocutions (no Latin
equivalent exists) but failed to word an appropriation bill for the
destruction of this cairn, that wouldn't alert the press and embarrass both
Parliament and Party.
	It stands today, a monument to human spirit.  If life exists on other
planets, this may be the first message received from us.
		-- The Realist, November, 1964

Between grand theft and a legal fee, there only stands a law degree.

Between infinite and short there is a big difference.
		-- G. H. Gonnet