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Episode Replay

Episode Transcript

EXTRA : In this world, there are humans, (0:00:13.03)
EXTRA : elves, fairies, beastmen, (0:00:16.19)
EXTRA : monsters, spirits, angels, and demons. (0:00:20.39)
EXTRA : Truly, a melting pot of sentient creatures. (0:00:27.99)
EXTRA : As such, this wonderful world bursting with diversity (0:00:32.11)
EXTRA : is, naturally, bursting with a diverse selection of brothels. (0:00:35.19)
EXTRA : These myriad brothels... (0:00:40.94)
EXTRA : ...and the girls who work there—succu-girls— (0:00:47.03)
EXTRA : are reviewed by a group of brave adventurers! (0:00:50.57)
EXTRA : They are... (0:00:54.74)
EXTRA : ...the Interspecies Reviewers! (0:00:57.44)
Meidri : Let me clear that for you! (0:02:35.36)
Crimvael : Here's your order! (0:02:37.80)
Stunk : Bigger's totally better! (0:02:41.91)
Stunk : It's just like this hunk of meat: more to enjoy! (0:02:43.51)
Kanchal : That's not necessarily true. (0:02:47.27)
Kanchal : What if it's too much to eat? (0:02:49.24)
Stunk : C'mon, you gotta go big or go home! (0:02:51.61)
Zel : Something in the middle's just right. (0:02:55.07)
Stunk : Chicks love a guy with a huge dick!
You can get any girl you want if you're packing!
(0:02:56.82)
Kanchal : I dunno... (0:03:00.04)
Stunk : Okay, let's head out to the Succubus District, then! I'll show you! (0:03:01.44)
Stunk : Hey, Crim! (0:03:05.65)
Crimvael : Hi, Stunk, you want a refill? (0:03:07.66)
Stunk : Yeah, but also, wanna come with us to the Succu-Street? (0:03:10.07)
Crimvael : Huh? I don't have the kind of money to head there every night. (0:03:13.17)
Stunk : Oh, right—here's your portion of the pay from our last review. (0:03:17.80)
Crimvael : Whoa. If we're making this much,
we can totally head there every night.
(0:03:24.60)
Stunk : We sell way more reviews when Crim's on the docket. (0:03:28.60)
Zel : Yeah, we get more women buying 'em for some reason. (0:03:32.19)
Crimvael : I get it. (0:03:34.49)
Zel : Cuteness sells, huh? (0:03:37.49)
Stunk : So where to? (0:03:41.07)
Zel : Lemme think. (0:03:43.04)
EXTRA : Miss Meidri! (0:03:57.32)
Meidri : Hey there! (0:03:58.92)
EXTRA : Two more nectar ales, please! (0:04:00.15)
Meidri : Coming up! (0:04:02.69)
EXTRA : I'm sooo drunk. (0:04:05.74)
Stunk : How about some fairies? (0:04:10.24)
Crimvael : Wow, I didn't know you were the son of a noble family, Stunk. (0:04:17.65)
Stunk : It's ancient history. Doesn't matter much now. (0:04:22.19)
Zel : So after his dad threw him out of the house, (0:04:24.78)
Zel : he went and got famous for being a brilliant adventurer... (0:04:28.86)
Zel : and for his exploits in this part of town. (0:04:31.57)
Crimvael : I-I see... (0:04:34.85)
Stunk : Sheesh. There you go running your mouth again. (0:04:36.38)
Stunk : That the place? (0:04:42.90)
Kanchal : It smells nice... (0:04:45.82)
Stunk : Seems we've been drawn to the sweet nectar of the fairies' flower. (0:04:53.56)
Stunk : Wonder what kind of girls they've got here. (0:04:58.19)
Stunk : I bet they've got all sorts of cute, perky girls, (0:05:01.73)
Stunk : just like the ones we saw back at the pub... (0:05:04.07)
Aloe : Thanks for comin' in. (0:05:13.15)
Stunk : Yikes. (0:05:15.19)
Zel : Yikes. (0:05:15.19)
Crimvael : Yikes. (0:05:15.19)
Stunk : There goes my cute, perky image of a fairy... (0:05:16.93)
Aloe : You're all first timers, right? (0:05:19.68)
Aloe : Our shop's got a first-timer fee. (0:05:22.07)
Aloe : And tack on 500 gold to start a membership for ya. (0:05:25.52)
Aloe : Sound good? (0:05:30.40)
Zel : I guess. (0:05:32.24)
Stunk : If we've got to, yeah. (0:05:33.32)
Aloe : Okay, all paid up. (0:05:39.44)
Aloe : Let's get to measurin', then. (0:05:41.32)
Aloe : We'll start with you. (0:05:48.37)
Aloe : Okay, get it up. (0:05:56.21)
Stunk : I can't just flick a damn switch! (0:05:57.76)
Stunk : The hell is all this? You messing with us?! (0:05:59.08)
Aloe : I wish I was messin' with you. (0:06:02.26)
Aloe : We've got 42 girls here, (0:06:04.41)
Aloe : but they've all got their size limits, y'know? (0:06:08.53)
Aloe : And hey, fairies are a whole different size than other species out there. (0:06:12.93)
Aloe : Not like we can help it. (0:06:17.11)
Stunk : Sure, but... (0:06:19.86)
Stunk : How am I supposed to get it up like this? (0:06:22.26)
Aloe : Sheesh, twist my arm, why don't you? (0:06:27.86)
Aloe : Okay, up we go, now. (0:06:37.66)
Aloe : One, and, two, and... (0:06:40.33)
Aloe : C'mon, c'mon. (0:06:43.69)
Aloe : Man, you've got a good-sized piece on you, dude. (0:06:49.74)
Stunk : Stuff it. (0:06:54.15)
Aloe : Fun fact: three guys've busted a load while getting measured. (0:06:55.14)
Aloe : Don't be the fourth. (0:06:59.24)
Stunk : I won't! (0:07:00.10)
Aloe : Let's see here... (0:07:02.49)
Aloe : Okay, here's your 16.5 centimeter card. (0:07:05.52)
Stunk : Don't say the number out loud! (0:07:09.78)
Aloe : You got a circumference of 4.1. (0:07:11.53)
Stunk : What did I just say?! (0:07:13.27)
Aloe : With a 16.5, the only girls who can handle ya are these two. (0:07:14.66)
Stunk : They're both whales! (0:07:19.53)
Aloe : Not much I can do about that with your size. Sorry. (0:07:22.89)
Zel : Sounds like bigger isn't always better. (0:07:27.53)
Aloe : Elfy over here can choose from these 20. (0:07:31.63)
Zel : Ooh! (0:07:35.01)
Stunk : Asshole. (0:07:35.94)
Aloe : Mr. Halfling here can choose whoever he wants. (0:07:37.01)
Kanchal : There isn't anyone who can't handle me? (0:07:41.54)
Aloe : Not a one! (0:07:44.73)
Kanchal : I can have any girl I want... (0:07:46.61)
Kanchal : I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry... (0:07:48.20)
Stunk : O-Okay, I'll take Bubulala... (0:07:53.70)
Aloe : Okay. (0:07:56.74)
Aloe : Hey, Bubulala, you got a client! (0:07:58.25)
Stunk : She's huge. (0:08:10.42)
Stunk : You sure you're a fairy? (0:08:12.15)
Bubulala : You're just so big, handsome. (0:08:14.78)
Bubulala : Mmkay, follow me. (0:08:17.64)
Aloe : Right, so about you, Angel Boy. (0:08:21.48)
Crimvael : Y-Yeah? (0:08:23.72)
Aloe : Sorry, dude! Nobody here can handle you! (0:08:26.32)
Stunk : A review of the fairy-centric brothel, Fairy Nectar: (0:08:37.07)
Stunk : On your first visit, they'll take measurements of your tool. (0:08:43.45)
Stunk : The registration fee was pretty expensive, too, (0:08:49.94)
Stunk : but no lie, getting measured by the receptionist got me pretty worked up, to say the least. (0:08:52.11)
Stunk : Human-sized dicks rule out about 70% of their offerings. (0:08:59.53)
Stunk : The only girls who can handle 16 centimeters and up are so big, (0:09:04.53)
Stunk : they barely seem like fairies. (0:09:08.82)
Stunk : It doesn't feel like you're fucking a fairy at all, like damn! (0:09:10.99)
Zel : All the girls at the establishment have been around the Succu-block, (0:09:19.99)
Zel : but they're strict on their size limits. (0:09:22.89)
Zel : Even my modest-sized Elf dick only left me about half to choose from. (0:09:26.82)
Zel : Teasing their tiny bodies was a new, refreshing experience for me, (0:09:33.24)
Zel : but physically, it wasn't much different from doing it with a doll, (0:09:36.78)
Zel : so I don't think I'll be coming here all that often. (0:09:40.61)
Zel : Their mana is really strong, though, and they smelled pretty nice, (0:09:43.41)
Zel : so the tiny room we spent our time in ended up feelin' real comfy. (0:09:47.64)
Kanchal : For a halfling like me, (0:09:56.52)
Kanchal : getting serviced by a fairy was like doing it with a miniature halfling, (0:09:58.19)
Kanchal : and it was pretty hot. (0:10:02.10)
Kanchal : They smell wonderful, too. (0:10:06.28)
Kanchal : Besides the expensive entrance fee, I've got no complaints. (0:10:07.75)
Crimvael : I understand why it had to be this way, but I wasn't able to sleep with any of them... (0:10:17.27)
Crimvael : Despite that, they still made me pay to register... (0:10:22.49)
Crimvael : I feel like I was scammed... (0:10:25.58)
Crimvael : I mean, I actually was scammed. (0:10:27.74)
EXTRA : I am the great Demon Lord. (0:11:09.04)
EXTRA : The rule of demons is nigh. (0:11:11.53)
EXTRA : It seems the world is on the brink of destruction... (0:11:15.54)
EXTRA : ...but it's actually completely fine. (0:11:18.60)
Death Abyss : Consider the stark reality where magicks that could benefit us all (0:11:20.26)
Death Abyss : instead lie stagnating in development hell! (0:11:24.86)
Stunk : Could they be any louder? (0:11:28.00)
Death Abyss : The world may refuse to listen to the promises of the Demon Party, (0:11:28.98)
Stunk : Still, gotta admit... (0:11:29.95)
Stunk : She's cute, so I'll let it slide. (0:11:32.53)
Death Abyss : nor does it remember our creed! (0:11:34.34)
Zel : Can't we just do one every century? (0:11:36.53)
Mitsue : Come now, you know us humans don't live that long. (0:11:38.82)
Zel : Oh, that's right. Mitsue-san. (0:11:42.78)
Zel : But even if your time on Earth is far shorter than mine, (0:11:44.85)
Zel : the time we spend together will last forever! (0:11:49.11)
Mitsue : You and that gilded tongue of yours! (0:11:51.35)
Mitsue : Come by to have a little fun, okay? (0:11:54.17)
Crimvael : So which party's running the government right now? (0:12:01.86)
Stunk : The Orc Party. (0:12:05.01)
Zel : I mean, when you consider how it all balances out, it makes sense. (0:12:06.11)
Stunk : That and it means that foodstuffs are way cheap! (0:12:09.15)
Stunk : And taxes are super low! (0:12:11.69)
Stunk : Plus, they give way more of the federal budget to the Succubus District! (0:12:13.33)
Orc Politician : This is the creed of the Orc Party! (0:12:17.24)
Orc Politician : Prioritize agricultural self-sufficiency! (0:12:18.99)
Orc Politician : Tax rates must be kept low! (0:12:21.07)
Orc Politician : Stability trumps change! (0:12:23.08)
Orc Politician : Tranquility trumps toil! (0:12:24.80)
Orc Politician : Eat, sleep, and fornicate! (0:12:26.60)
Orc Politician : That is the key to happiness! (0:12:29.53)
Zel : Their party's a friend to the masses, they are. (0:12:32.65)
Stunk : The Orcs're gonna win no matter what, (0:12:36.01)
Stunk : but I know who's got my vote: the Succubus Party! (0:12:38.86)
Zel : I know I'd like them to get a coupl'a seats in Parliament! (0:12:41.11)
Stunk : Viva the Succubus Party! (0:12:52.25)
Zel : Viva the Succubus Party! (0:12:52.25)
Death Abyss : Voters! (0:12:54.19)
Death Abyss : If you want your government to rightfully put more emphasis on magical technologies, (0:12:55.36)
Death Abyss : then cast your vote for the Demon Lord, Death Abyss! (0:12:58.46)
Death Abyss : Thank you. (0:13:02.03)
Stunk : Boy, that girl was damn cute. (0:13:05.59)
Stunk : We should go to a demon joint next. (0:13:07.95)
Zel : Demons, huh? (0:13:11.19)
Zel : I dunno about demons... (0:13:12.99)
Crimvael : I'm not a fan, either. (0:13:14.74)
Crimvael : I mean, I am an angel. (0:13:16.53)
Stunk : What the hell, guys? You don't like demon girls? (0:13:18.44)
Demon Two : Nobody does! (0:13:21.03)
Demon Two : Demons are extremely unpopular! (0:13:22.90)
Demon Two : My apologies, let me introduce myself: (0:13:25.65)
Demon Two : Demon Two, Head of PR for the Demon Party. (0:13:28.74)
Stunk : Uh-huh. (0:13:30.86)
Demon Two : I report directly to Death Abyss, the fine young woman who just gave that rousing speech. (0:13:31.62)
Stunk : Uh-huh. (0:13:35.36)
Demon Two : But back to the topic at hand! (0:13:36.17)
Demon Two : Our wonderous demon species is always, always , in the Top Five Least Marriageable Species! (0:13:37.74)
EXTRA : We asked one hundred different species! (0:13:44.03)
EXTRA : Which species is the last one you'd want to marry? (0:13:46.93)
EXTRA : Got it! Reptilians! (0:13:49.44)
EXTRA : Yes! Yes! Yes! (0:13:51.06)
EXTRA : Number five, reptilians! (0:13:55.69)
EXTRA : They stink! They're unattractive! They sit in the sun and don't move! (0:13:57.11)
EXTRA : Yuki-onna! (0:14:00.96)
EXTRA : Yes! Yes! Yes! (0:14:02.02)
EXTRA : Number four, yuki-onna, or snow woman! (0:14:06.07)
EXTRA : Nasty personalities, just the worst! (0:14:07.60)
EXTRA : Fire spirit! (0:14:10.53)
EXTRA : Yes! Yes! Yes! (0:14:11.83)
EXTRA : Number three, fire spirit! (0:14:16.32)
EXTRA : Can't touch 'em! They'll burn your house down! (0:14:18.07)
EXTRA : Demons! (0:14:19.96)
EXTRA : Yes! Yes! Yes! (0:14:21.09)
EXTRA : Number two, demons! (0:14:25.67)
EXTRA : Selfish! Might abuse you! Terrifying aura! (0:14:26.94)
EXTRA : Undead! (0:14:29.69)
EXTRA : Yes! Yes! Yes! (0:14:30.76)
EXTRA : And number one, undead! (0:14:34.90)
EXTRA : Smelly! Gross! Some are just bones, like, what?! (0:14:36.44)
Demon Two : We're number two on the list of "Species Nobody Wants to Marry!" Number two ! (0:14:40.53)
Demon Two : This is an alarming state of affairs! (0:14:44.18)
Demon Two : Forgive the sudden segue, but I have had the pleasure of reading your reviews. (0:14:46.94)
Stunk : Uh-huh. (0:14:51.36)
Zel : Guess we're gettin' famous. (0:14:52.57)
Demon Two : The species you have reviewed thus far, (0:14:55.34)
Demon Two : even those who had no standing in the rankings, (0:14:57.84)
Demon Two : have seen their popularity and attention skyrocket! (0:15:01.08)
Stunk : Uh... Uh-huh. (0:15:04.17)
Demon Two : So I come to you with a request. (0:15:05.40)
Stunk : Oh-ho, so you want us to help improve the public image of demons... (0:15:07.46)
Zel : ...by reviewing some demon girls. (0:15:11.47)
Stunk : We've got ourselves a quest! (0:15:14.22)
Stunk : Don't expect us to candy-coat our review for you, though. (0:15:17.58)
Stunk : If you want us to write a review that makes you all look good, (0:15:20.86)
Stunk : you'd better show us to the cutest, sexiest demon girls you've got! (0:15:24.09)
Stunk : Out with it, then! (0:15:27.36)
Stunk : You bring yours out, and we'll take ours out! (0:15:28.49)
Stunk : C'mon, now! (0:15:31.30)
Demon Two : While I would love to do just that, (0:15:32.79)
Demon Two : granting favors to members of the voting public (0:15:35.25)
Demon Two : is in direct violation of the Public Office Election Law. (0:15:38.28)
Stunk : Well, fuck off, then, you P*ccolo wannabe. (0:15:40.69)
Demon Two : I can only ask you to do this as a personal favor. (0:15:42.94)
Demon Two : What I can do without violating election law... (0:15:49.15)
Demon Two : ...is recommend to you a most excellent establishment. (0:15:52.02)
Demon Two : I take my leave of you, then! (0:15:55.78)
Demon Two : Vote smart: Vote for the Demon Party! (0:15:57.57)
Stunk : Turn it down a notch! (0:16:00.49)
Stunk : Well? (0:16:02.54)
Stunk : What do we do about this? (0:16:03.72)
Zel : I'm not too keen on going to a demon joint.
I've heard about all the robberies and scams...
(0:16:05.07)
Zel : But that shouldn't happen in this case. (0:16:08.89)
Stunk : Guess that means... (0:16:11.57)
EXTRA : We're gonna eat you up! (0:16:13.32)
Stunk : ...we're goin' for a blue-skinned demon girl! (0:16:15.22)
Zel : Sweet! Let's go fuse our junk with some demons! (0:16:17.62)
Crimvael : I'm gonna pass on this one. (0:16:20.08)
Stunk : Hey! (0:16:24.00)
Stunk : Don't knock it till you've tried it. (0:16:25.29)
Crimvael : Sorry. I can't afford it, and you know what I am... (0:16:27.06)
Death Abyss : Where's our next speech at? (0:16:34.40)
Demon Two : Let me see. We'll be heading to three villages on the outskirts of the city. (0:16:36.89)
Death Abyss : Outskirts, huh? (0:16:40.85)
Death Abyss : Is it really worth giving a speech in places where there aren't that many people? (0:16:42.82)
Demon Two : Yes. Forgive my insolence, but the other candidates will not visit these areas, (0:16:47.11)
Demon Two : and it is a valuable opportunity to make yourself known. (0:16:52.06)
Death Abyss : Huh. I suppose that makes sense. (0:16:56.44)
Death Abyss : The reaction to the speech I gave in the city was pretty lacking, (0:16:58.53)
Death Abyss : and we didn't get much applause... (0:17:02.40)
Demon Two : I have a plan for that, my lady. (0:17:06.03)
Death Abyss : A plan? (0:17:08.57)
Demon Two : Yes. I have introduced a group of Succubus District reviewers (0:17:09.70)
Demon Two : to a high-quality demon brothel. (0:17:13.07)
Death Abyss : Is that really going to help? (0:17:16.69)
Demon Two : Indeed, it will! (0:17:18.35)
Demon Two : Their reviews are read by a large number of citizens, primarily male. (0:17:20.70)
Demon Two : Their review should improve the public image of demons, (0:17:25.35)
Demon Two : and thus, the image of the Demon Party! (0:17:29.07)
Death Abyss : I-I get it! Well done, Demon Two! (0:17:31.36)
Death Abyss : Our path to election is clearer than ever! (0:17:35.28)
Demon Two : Indeed! The future of the Demon Party is bright, I know it! (0:17:37.82)
EXTRA : You're sure that man wasn't a scam artist pretending to be a PR specialist? (0:17:47.83)
EXTRA : Their species is known to be untrustworthy. (0:17:52.23)
Brooz : Yeah. (0:17:54.06)
Zel : I looked into him. (0:17:55.09)
Zel : That Demon Two guy actually was a PR guy for the Demon Party. (0:17:56.80)
Zel : I've got no idea about the shop itself, though. (0:18:01.83)
Stunk : If it's a bust, we'll just roast 'em in the review. (0:18:04.57)
Stunk : That's the place. (0:18:07.98)
Guinea : Aww, c'moooon! (0:18:15.65)
Stunk : The moment our eyes alighted upon those fine employees, (0:18:28.42)
Stunk : we were drawn into their supersize busts. (0:18:30.97)
Stunk : Just one look and you can tell: (0:18:37.38)
Stunk : their super dynamite bodies are a pleasure to play with. (0:18:39.03)
Milky : Oh, moooo! (0:18:43.24)
Stunk : And you can drink milk straight from the teat! (0:18:45.86)
Milky : It's gonna come out! My milk is comin' out! (0:18:51.50)
Milky : Mooooo! (0:18:55.03)
Stunk : It was a little lukewarm, though. (0:18:57.24)
Stunk : That, and while they look soft and squishy, (0:19:01.22)
Stunk : their meat's pretty damn tough, which was a shame. (0:19:03.74)
Zel : Tiddies! Holy shit, dude, tiddies! (0:19:10.29)
Zel : You won't get milk unless you pick a girl who's had kids, (0:19:13.21)
Zel : so keep that in mind if you're feelin' thirsty. (0:19:16.74)
Guinea : I-I can't take it any moooore! Not an-udder second! (0:19:20.09)
Brooz : Their shop specializes in milking, so of course their chests are going to be incredible. (0:19:27.60)
Brooz : But their milk is all dairy, which would upset my dog's stomach, unfortunately. (0:19:32.10)
EXTRA : Dairy minotaurs are quite rare in the demon realm, so for me, (0:19:41.74)
EXTRA : this was my first foray into a new world. (0:19:44.99)
Guinea : Aww, you lookin' at my moooon? (0:19:46.99)
EXTRA : Minotaur women are extremely submissive and will cow-tow to your every desire. (0:19:49.61)
EXTRA : As such, I believe men who are attracted to their shapely behinds (0:19:53.69)
EXTRA : will enjoy those behinds even more. (0:19:57.32)
EXTRA : Good night, and sweet dreams. (0:20:03.19)
EXTRA : So the Dairy Farm's not half bad, eh? (0:20:07.19)
EXTRA : Can't say I'm a fan when they get too big, though. (0:20:09.72)
EXTRA : They do say that 'tis better to be too big than too small. (0:20:12.24)
EXTRA : But if you're too big, you'll get turned away from that fairy joint. (0:20:14.97)
EXTRA : Guess big can be a problem, too. (0:20:18.99)
EXTRA : I suppose, then, it depends on the time and place. (0:20:20.94)
EXTRA : A valuable lesson to learn. (0:20:23.94)
EXTRA : Dude, you're still a virgin. (0:20:25.52)
Crimvael : I thought you were going to go review some demon girls? (0:20:30.53)
Zel : If this apple were larger than the planet, the planet would fall towards the apple. (0:20:33.82)
Stunk : Our souls are bound to the laws of this universe... (0:20:40.09)
Stunk : We could not defy the gravity of their planetary busts. (0:20:43.19)
Crimvael : Uh-huh... (0:20:47.44)
Stunk : Why're you starin' at us like it wouldn't've happened to you? (0:20:50.02)
Stunk : If you'd've been there, you'd've fallen prey to their gravity, too. (0:20:54.11)
Crimvael : If you say so... (0:20:57.94)
Meidri : Sheesh. Could you please not drag Crim into your gross world? (0:20:59.65)
Stunk : I feel a respectable gravity pulling me this way! (0:21:07.53)
Meidri : Here's what actual gravity feels like! (0:21:12.65)
Zel : Guess that means the planet's gravity was stronger than titty gravity... (0:21:22.97)
EXTRA : Professor Poke's Succu-Girl Learning Corner! (0:23:01.02)
EXTRA : What's thick and hard and big? (0:23:05.78)
EXTRA : Do you know? (0:23:09.40)
EXTRA : Ready for the answer? (0:23:11.71)
EXTRA : It's Death Abyss' horn! (0:23:17.49)
Death Abyss : I lost... (0:23:20.15)

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