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The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Episode 1

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Kyon : Asking someone how long they believed in Santa Claus... (0:00:03.14)
Kyon : ...is so meaningless that it couldn't even serve as worthless gossip... (0:00:06.65)
Kyon : Regardless, if you're going to ask me how much of my childhood I spent believing in an old man in a red suit... (0:00:10.69)
Kyon : ...I can confidently say that... (0:00:15.70)
Kyon : ...I never believed in him in the first place. (0:00:17.24)
Kyon : I knew that the Santa at the preschool Christmas event was just a fake. (0:00:20.79)
Kyon : And I didn't even have to see Mommy kissing Santa Claus... (0:00:25.54)
Kyon : I suppose I was just a precocious child who questioned the existence of an old man who only worked on Christmas. (0:00:29.34)
Kyon : At any rate... (0:00:34.34)
Kyon : Be it aliens, time travelers, ghosts, demons, espers... (0:00:35.05)
Kyon : ...or evil organizations and the heroes out of anime or comic books who battle them... (0:00:38.39)
Kyon : I didn't realize that they weren't real until some time later. (0:00:42.56)
Kyon : No. I had probably already realized the truth. (0:00:47.40)
Kyon : I just didn't want to admit it. (0:00:49.40)
Kyon : Deep in my heart, I wished that aliens, time travelers, ghosts, demons, espers... (0:00:51.65)
Kyon : ...or evil organizations might pop up in front of me. (0:00:56.11)
Kyon : However, reality is rather cruel! (0:00:59.99)
Kyon : One must admire how well the laws of physics were written. (0:01:03.00)
Kyon : At some point, I stopped being glued to TV UFO specials and programs on psychics. (0:01:06.21)
Kyon : Aliens. Time travelers. Espers. (0:01:10.54)
Kyon : None of those could possibly exist. (0:01:12.80)
Kyon : Though I kind of wish they did... (0:01:14.01)
Kyon : So I suppose my ability to hold convictions while accepting reality is a sign that I've matured. (0:01:16.09)
Kyon : As I graduated from middle school... (0:01:24.02)
Kyon : ...I also graduated from those childish dreams... (0:01:25.93)
Kyon : ...and became accustomed to the routine of this world. (0:01:28.77)
Kyon : And so I entered high school with no particular vision in mind... (0:01:31.36)
Kyon : I hope to have a good year with everyone. (0:01:31.77)
Kyon : ...and met her. (0:01:34.07)
Haruhi Suzumiya : From East Middle School. (0:01:39.45)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Suzumiya Haruhi. (0:01:40.74)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I have no interest in ordinary humans. (0:01:42.53)
Haruhi Suzumiya : If there are any aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers here... (0:01:44.91)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...come join me. (0:01:50.38)
Haruhi Suzumiya : That is all! (0:01:52.17)
Kyon : Are we supposed to laugh? (0:01:55.59)
Kyon : A striking beauty stood before me. (0:01:59.43)
Okabe : Uh, whoever's next. (0:02:12.82)
Kyon : Most people would think that she was just joking. (0:02:13.94)
Taniguchi : From East Middle School. (0:02:14.61)
Taniguchi : I'm Taniguchi. (0:02:15.73)
Kyon : In hindsight, that was neither a joke nor a laughing matter. (0:02:16.69)
Kyon : Haruhi was always dead serious. (0:02:20.20)
Kyon : And so we met. (0:02:23.49)
Kyon : I deeply hope that... (0:02:25.83)
Kyon : ...I can believe it was mere coincidence. (0:02:27.12)
Kyon : As long as Suzumiya Haruhi was sitting still with her mouth shut... (0:04:01.80)
Kyon : ...one would believe that she was just a beautiful high schooler. (0:04:05.89)
Kyon : And since my seat just happened to be located right in front of hers... (0:04:08.51)
Kyon : ...I figured it might be acceptable to approach her... (0:04:11.43)
Kyon : You can't blame me for losing my mind for a moment. (0:04:13.60)
Kyon : Hey. (0:04:17.65)
Kyon : About the stuff in that introduction earlier... (0:04:18.52)
Kyon : How much of it was serious? (0:04:20.44)
Haruhi Suzumiya : What stuff earlier? (0:04:23.49)
Kyon : The stuff about aliens and whatnot. (0:04:25.24)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Are you an alien? (0:04:27.87)
Kyon : No, but... (0:04:29.33)
Haruhi Suzumiya : No, but what? (0:04:30.54)
Kyon : No, forget it. (0:04:32.62)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Then don't talk to me. (0:04:34.29)
Haruhi Suzumiya : It's a waste of time. (0:04:35.92)
Taniguchi : Don't mind her! (0:04:42.01)
Kyon : I didn't learn until later on... (0:04:43.59)
Kyon : ...that they were all from the same middle school as Haruhi. (0:04:45.51)
Taniguchi : If you're interested in her... (0:04:49.05)
Taniguchi : ...I won't mince words. (0:04:50.93)
Taniguchi : Give up on it. (0:04:52.31)
Taniguchi : I know. I was in the same class as her for three years in middle school. (0:04:54.14)
Taniguchi : Her queerness takes a path unlike anything you've seen. (0:04:58.69)
Kunikida : You mean her introduction? (0:05:01.36)
Taniguchi : Yep. (0:05:02.78)
Taniguchi : She did a bunch of strange things back in middle school, too. (0:05:03.69)
Taniguchi : The most famous one would be the campus grounds graffiti incident. (0:05:07.70)
Kyon : What's that? (0:05:10.12)
Taniguchi : There's this device that uses lime to draw white lines, right? (0:05:11.41)
Taniguchi : What was it called again... (0:05:14.00)
Taniguchi : Whatever. (0:05:15.58)
Taniguchi : Someone used that to draw some huge pictograph on the grounds. (0:05:16.46)
Taniguchi : And it was secretly done at night. (0:05:20.34)
Kunikida : I remember seeing that. (0:05:23.34)
Kunikida : Wasn't that in the local section of the newspaper? (0:05:25.34)
Kunikida : It looked like a failed attempt at a Nazca etching. (0:05:28.22)
Kyon : And she was the one who did it? (0:05:31.51)
Taniguchi : She said so herself, so it's gotta be her. (0:05:34.22)
Taniguchi : One morning, we showed up at the classroom to find all the desks out in the hall. (0:05:37.19)
Taniguchi : She drew stars on the roof in paint... (0:05:41.52)
Taniguchi : She even stuck a bunch of talismans all around school. (0:05:44.11)
Kyon : What is she doing? (0:05:45.11)
Taniguchi : Like the ones they use to reanimate corpses. (0:05:47.61)
Taniguchi : No idea what for. (0:05:50.32)
Taniguchi : Even so, she's pretty popular. (0:05:52.33)
Taniguchi : Since she does have looks. (0:05:54.91)
Taniguchi : And then she's athletic and probably gets better grades than most. (0:05:57.37)
Taniguchi : You can't tell she's a freak when she's just standing there. (0:06:01.42)
Kunikida : Are there any stories about that? (0:06:05.01)
Taniguchi : For a while, she kept going from one to another. (0:06:07.17)
Taniguchi : As far as I know, the longest lasted a week... (0:06:09.80)
Taniguchi : ...and apparently the shortest was five minutes after she agreed to go out with him. (0:06:13.31)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I don't have time to deal with ordinary humans! (0:06:19.31)
Taniguchi : Then don't agree to go out in the first place... (0:06:21.77)
Taniguchi : It's just a story I heard! (0:06:25.78)
Taniguchi : Really. (0:06:27.07)
Taniguchi : I don't know why, but apparently she doesn't turn anyone down. (0:06:28.03)
Taniguchi : That's why I'm warning you before you get any weird ideas. (0:06:31.91)
Taniguchi : Give it up. (0:06:36.20)
Kyon : There's nothing to give up on. (0:06:37.41)
Kyon : I'm not even interested. (0:06:38.87)
Taniguchi : Personally, I'd say... (0:06:43.29)
Taniguchi : ...the best one in the class is her. (0:06:45.13)
Taniguchi : Asakura Ryoko. (0:06:49.30)
Taniguchi : She's gotta be in the top three for our year. (0:06:51.09)
Kyon : Did you check out all the first-year girls or something? (0:06:54.68)
Taniguchi : Oh, yeah! (0:06:58.02)
Taniguchi : I assigned them ranks from A to D... (0:06:59.23)
Taniguchi : ...and I learned the full names of the ones who ranked A. (0:07:01.23)
Kunikida : And Asakura-san is an A? (0:07:04.31)
Taniguchi : An AA+. (0:07:06.44)
Taniguchi : She's definitely a nice person, too. (0:07:08.36)
EXTRA : That's fast... (0:07:15.16)
Kyon : At this point, Suzumiya Haruhi had yet to act up. (0:07:17.62)
Kyon : And for me, it was a month of relaxation. (0:07:21.37)
Kyon : However, I should note that... (0:07:24.00)
Kyon : ...I observed a number of Haruhi's eccentric behaviors during this period. (0:07:26.71)
Kyon : And so, peculiarity number one. (0:07:31.43)
Kyon : Her hairstyle changes everyday. (0:07:33.97)
Kyon : Monday. (0:07:35.51)
Kyon : Tuesday. (0:07:36.30)
Kyon : Wednesday. (0:07:37.06)
Kyon : Thursday. (0:07:37.81)
Kyon : Friday. (0:07:38.56)
Kyon : As the days progressed, the number of tied-off points in her hair would increase. (0:07:39.31)
Kyon : After resetting on Monday, it would increase one a day until Friday. (0:07:42.31)
Kyon : I wonder what her head looks like on Sunday. (0:07:45.98)
Kyon : I'd sure like to see it. (0:07:48.69)
Kyon : Peculiarity number two. (0:07:52.53)
EXTRA : They saw my body! (0:07:53.20)
Kyon : Boys and girls split up for gym class. (0:07:54.49)
Kyon : Girls change in odd-numbered rooms... (0:07:57.24)
Kyon : ...and boys move to even-numbered rooms, however... (0:07:58.91)
Kyon : ...ignoring the fact that boys were still present... (0:08:01.91)
Kyon : ...she began taking off her uniform! (0:08:04.37)
Kyon : It would appear that she viewed guys on the same level as potatoes. (0:08:12.80)
Kyon : Peculiarity number three. (0:08:18.97)
Kyon : To my amazement... (0:08:22.06)
Kyon : ...she temporarily joined a wide range of clubs in this school. (0:08:23.52)
Kyon : All the sports clubs without exception fervently pursued her membership. (0:08:27.90)
EXTRA : 'Sides, your presence alone would motivate us! (0:08:31.53)
Kyon : In the end, she didn't join a single one of them. (0:08:36.28)
Kyon : What exactly is she trying to do? (0:08:39.37)
Kyon : In the process, we reached the first day after Golden Week. (0:08:46.12)
Taniguchi : - Yo, Kyon! (0:08:47.92)
Kyon : Yo. (0:08:50.42)
Kyon : Incidentally, Kyon is my nickname. (0:08:51.34)
Taniguchi : Did you go somewhere for Golden Week? (0:08:51.76)
Kyon : I took my sister to see our grandmother. (0:08:53.47)
Kyon : I sure wish people would stop calling me that. (0:08:54.47)
Taniguchi : That's lame. (0:08:55.30)
EXTRA : 'Sup. (0:08:57.34)
Kyon : So that makes today Wednesday. (0:09:02.06)
Kyon : And with that thought in mind... (0:09:03.81)
Kyon : I was probably possessed by some demon. (0:09:05.44)
Kyon : I can think of no other explanation. (0:09:07.15)
Kyon : Do you change your hair every day as an alien countermeasure? (0:09:09.90)
Kyon : I talked to Suzumiya Haruhi. (0:09:13.65)
Haruhi Suzumiya : When did you notice? (0:09:16.28)
Kyon : Just recently. (0:09:18.62)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I see. (0:09:19.91)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I think that... (0:09:22.16)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...each day gives off a different image. (0:09:24.08)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Color-wise, Monday(Moon) would be yellow. (0:09:28.63)
Kyon : I get the feeling this is the first time we've had a conversation. (0:09:30.04)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Tuesday(Fire) would be red. (0:09:31.38)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Wednesday(Water) would be blue. (0:09:32.38)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Thursday(Wood) would be green. (0:09:33.55)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Friday(Gold) is gold. (0:09:35.22)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Saturday(Earth) is light brown. (0:09:36.59)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Sunday(Sun) is white. (0:09:37.63)
Kyon : I can see where she's coming from, but... (0:09:39.05)
Kyon : So with numbers... (0:09:41.47)
Kyon : ...Monday would be zero and Sunday would be six? (0:09:43.60)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Yes. (0:09:46.31)
Kyon : Monday feels more like one to me. (0:09:47.81)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Nobody asked for your opinion! (0:09:51.23)
Kyon : Oh, really. (0:09:53.78)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Have I met you before? (0:10:09.37)
Haruhi Suzumiya : A long time ago... (0:10:12.63)
Kyon : Nope. (0:10:13.75)
Kyon : The trigger... (0:10:15.92)
Kyon : ...while being nothing particularly significant... (0:10:17.22)
Kyon : This would indeed be the trigger. (0:10:20.22)
Kyon : In any case, a serious response from Haruhi was a surprise. (0:10:22.89)
Kyon : "Shut up!" "Moron!" "Be quiet!" "Who cares about that!?" (0:10:25.89)
Kyon : ...were the replies I was expecting. (0:10:28.94)
Kyon : Which is why... (0:10:33.19)
Kyon : ...when Haruhi showed up with her long hair cut... (0:10:34.11)
Kyon : ...I was rather disturbed. (0:10:37.44)
Kyon : Anyway, isn't cutting it the day after I point it out a bit hasty? (0:10:39.57)
Kyon : Hey. (0:10:43.99)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Not really. (0:10:46.70)
Kyon : After that... (0:10:49.33)
Kyon : ...conversing with Haruhi in the short period before homeroom became a daily event. (0:10:50.37)
Kyon : I heard this rumor... (0:10:51.42)
Kyon : Is it true that you've dumped every guy you went out with? (0:10:54.42)
Haruhi Suzumiya : What gives you the right to ask me that? (0:10:58.21)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I don't know what you've heard, but very well. (0:11:02.01)
Haruhi Suzumiya : It's probably all true. (0:11:04.85)
Kyon : There wasn't a single guy you seriously wanted to date? (0:11:06.60)
Haruhi Suzumiya : All of them were totally no good. (0:11:10.89)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Every single one of them was ridiculously square. (0:11:12.27)
Haruhi Suzumiya : None of them were aliens, time travelers, or espers. (0:11:15.73)
Kyon : That's to be expected. (0:11:19.07)
Haruhi Suzumiya : And what's up with most of them asking me out over the phone? (0:11:20.40)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Important matters like these should be said in person! (0:11:23.82)
Kyon : Well... you think so? (0:11:27.16)
Kyon : I'll just go along with her. (0:11:28.24)
Kyon : I'd probably call her out somewhere and tell her. (0:11:28.50)
Haruhi Suzumiya : That's not important! (0:11:31.21)
Kyon : So is it or isn't it? (0:11:33.38)
Haruhi Suzumiya : The problem is that there are only worthless men on this planet. (0:11:34.63)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I spent most of middle school being irritated. (0:11:40.30)
Kyon : Then what kind of a guy did you want? (0:11:43.76)
Kyon : I'm guessing an alien? (0:11:46.05)
Haruhi Suzumiya : An alien. (0:11:47.51)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Or something along those lines. (0:11:48.22)
Haruhi Suzumiya : In any case, as long as it isn't an ordinary human, it doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl... (0:11:50.93)
Kyon : Why are you so particular about non-humans? (0:11:54.77)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Isn't that more fun? (0:11:59.82)
Taniguchi : Hey, Kyon! (0:12:13.42)
Taniguchi : What kind of magic did you use? (0:12:14.79)
Kyon : What are you talking about? (0:12:16.96)
Taniguchi : I've never seen Suzumiya talk that long before. (0:12:18.46)
Taniguchi : What did you say to her? (0:12:22.76)
Kyon : What did I say? (0:12:24.34)
Kyon : I get the feeling I just asked whatever was on my mind. (0:12:25.72)
Taniguchi : It's the end of the world. (0:12:29.01)
Kunikida : Kyon's always liked weird girls. (0:12:31.06)
Kyon : Don't say things that'll cause misunderstanding. (0:12:34.19)
Ryoko Asakura : I'd also like to know. (0:12:36.77)
Ryoko Asakura : Suzumiya-san never responds no matter how hard I try to talk to her. (0:12:39.07)
Ryoko Asakura : How did you get her to talk to you? (0:12:43.57)
Ryoko Asakura : Is there a trick to it? (0:12:45.66)
Kyon : Don't know. (0:12:47.03)
Ryoko Asakura : But I'm relieved now. (0:12:49.58)
Ryoko Asakura : I'd be worried if Suzumiya-san kept isolating herself from the rest of the class. (0:12:51.12)
Ryoko Asakura : It's a good thing that she's managed to make a friend. (0:12:55.33)
Kyon : Friend, huh... (0:12:58.29)
Ryoko Asakura : Keep up whatever you're doing to make Suzumiya-san open up to the class. (0:13:00.42)
Ryoko Asakura : We were fortunate enough to be put into the same class... (0:13:04.80)
Ryoko Asakura : ...so we should all be friends, right? (0:13:07.05)
Ryoko Asakura : I'm counting on you. (0:13:09.01)
Kyon : Easy for you to say. (0:13:10.14)
Ryoko Asakura : If I need to tell her anything from now on... (0:13:11.26)
Ryoko Asakura : ...I'll ask you to tell her for me. (0:13:13.56)
Kyon : But hold on! (0:13:17.52)
Kyon : I'm not her spokesman or anything. (0:13:18.56)
Ryoko Asakura : Pretty please. (0:13:22.19)
Taniguchi : Kyon! (0:13:32.45)
Taniguchi : We're buddies, right? (0:13:33.33)
Kyon : I'm surrounded by a bunch of idiots. (0:13:35.29)
Kyon : Our seating arrangements are being changed. (0:13:38.08)
Kyon : After drawing my lot from the tin... (0:13:39.71)
Kyon : ...my new seat was next to the window, second from behind. Quite excellent. (0:13:42.34)
Kyon : Farewell, Haruhi. (0:13:46.34)
Kyon : Forever. (0:13:47.55)
Kyon : This is coincidence, right? (0:13:50.22)
Kyon : Did you really try joining all the clubs? (0:13:52.85)
Kyon : Let me know if you find one that's fun. (0:13:55.89)
Haruhi Suzumiya : There totally aren't any at all. (0:13:59.65)
Kyon : An immediate response. (0:14:01.02)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Totally none at all! (0:14:02.27)
Kyon : It appears she has a habit of using the word "totally." (0:14:03.44)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I was expecting something better after entering high school... (0:14:06.69)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...but this is no different from back during mandatory education. (0:14:09.82)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Maybe I went to the wrong school. (0:14:13.28)
Kyon : What criteria are you using to choose a school? (0:14:15.33)
Haruhi Suzumiya : There was a Mystery Research Society. (0:14:18.79)
Kyon : How was it? (0:14:21.75)
Haruhi Suzumiya : A joke. (0:14:22.59)
Haruhi Suzumiya : They haven't had a single encounter with anything like a case. (0:14:23.80)
Haruhi Suzumiya : All the members are just mystery fanatic bookworms. (0:14:27.72)
Haruhi Suzumiya : None of them look like detective material. (0:14:30.13)
Kyon : Well, yeah? (0:14:32.05)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I was expecting more from the Supernatural Phenomena Research Society... (0:14:33.51)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...but it was just a bunch of occult freaks. (0:14:36.52)
Haruhi Suzumiya : What do you think of that? (0:14:39.48)
Kyon : Nothing much. (0:14:40.69)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Man, it's boring! (0:14:42.44)
Haruhi Suzumiya : With so many clubs, you'd think there'd be at least one weird one. (0:14:44.02)
Kyon : You can't do anything about what doesn't exist. (0:14:47.86)
Kyon : In the end, humans have to settle for what's in front of them. (0:14:49.86)
Kyon : If you think about it, the humans who were unable to do that... (0:14:54.49)
Kyon : ...made discoveries or inventions... (0:14:57.20)
Kyon : ...and advanced civilization. (0:14:59.12)
Kyon : Planes were invented because people wanted to fly. (0:15:01.04)
Kyon : Cars and trains came to be because people wanted easier means to move around. (0:15:03.92)
Kyon : However, this came from a limited number of people who had innovative plans and concepts. (0:15:07.59)
Kyon : In other words, geniuses made it all possible. (0:15:12.51)
Kyon : Common folk like us are best off living an ordinary life. (0:15:15.56)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Shut up! (0:15:19.77)
Kyon : Just maybe... (0:15:24.69)
Kyon : This conversation gave her the idea. (0:15:25.82)
Kyon : It happened suddenly. (0:15:29.90)
Kyon : What are you doing!? (0:15:37.70)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I figured it out! (0:15:38.54)
Kyon : Figured out what? (0:15:40.12)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Why didn't I realize such a simple thing sooner? (0:15:41.16)
Kyon : Realize what? (0:15:44.88)
Haruhi Suzumiya : If there isn't one, I just have to make it myself! (0:15:45.63)
Kyon : Make what? (0:15:48.34)
Haruhi Suzumiya : A club! (0:15:49.88)
Kyon : I got it. (0:15:53.97)
Kyon : Well, just calm down for now. (0:15:55.14)
Haruhi Suzumiya : What's with your reaction? (0:15:56.55)
Haruhi Suzumiya : You should be a little happier about this discovery. (0:15:57.81)
Kyon : We're in class right now. (0:16:01.77)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Clubroom... Clubroom... (0:16:07.77)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Assist me. (0:16:13.03)
Kyon : This feels like extortion. (0:16:14.61)
Kyon : Assist you with what? (0:16:17.20)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Making my new club. (0:16:18.53)
Kyon : Why do I have to help you with your idea? (0:16:20.58)
Kyon : Tell me that first. (0:16:24.25)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I'll go secure a room and members... (0:16:26.13)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...so you go get the chartering paperwork. (0:16:28.84)
Kyon : She's not listening. (0:16:29.80)
Kyon : What kind of club are you planning on making? (0:16:32.09)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Why does that even matter? (0:16:34.43)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Making the club comes first! (0:16:36.30)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Understood? (0:16:38.14)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Find out what you have to do before school's over. (0:16:38.81)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I'll find a room before then. (0:16:40.89)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Understood? (0:16:43.27)
Kyon : The provisions for chartering a "student association": (0:16:45.77)
Kyon : Five members or more. (0:16:49.23)
Kyon : A faculty advisor... (0:16:51.44)
Kyon : ...a club name... (0:16:52.74)
Kyon : ...a chairperson... (0:16:53.44)
Kyon : ...a summary of club activities... (0:16:54.49)
Kyon : There was no need to find out anything. (0:16:56.61)
Kyon : Everything is listed out on the back of the student handbook. (0:16:58.32)
Kyon : I don't mind writing this... (0:17:00.95)
Kyon : ...but I'm willing to bet that whatever Haruhi has in mind... (0:17:02.70)
Kyon : ...isn't going to "adhere to the policy of leading a productive and creative school life." (0:17:04.54)
Kyon : Wait! Hol— (0:17:09.92)
Kyon : What! Not aga— (0:17:10.92)
Haruhi Suzumiya : This room is now our clubroom! (0:17:13.26)
Kyon : Wait a tick. (0:17:15.93)
Kyon : Where are we? (0:17:16.93)
Haruhi Suzumiya : The arts department's clubhouse. (0:17:18.76)
Haruhi Suzumiya : The art club and wind ensemble have an art room and a music room, right? (0:17:21.10)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Clubs and associations that don't have such special classrooms... (0:17:25.52)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...have rooms in this clubhouse. (0:17:29.73)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Also known as the old shack. (0:17:30.98)
Haruhi Suzumiya : This is the literary club's room. (0:17:32.44)
Kyon : So this belongs to the literary club. (0:17:34.40)
Haruhi Suzumiya : But the third-years all graduated last spring so it has zero members. (0:17:36.32)
Haruhi Suzumiya : It was the only club that would have been cut if nobody new joined. (0:17:40.32)
Haruhi Suzumiya : And this girl is the first-year who joined. (0:17:44.79)
Kyon : Then the club wasn't cut. (0:17:48.83)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Close enough. (0:17:51.09)
Haruhi Suzumiya : There's only one person. (0:17:52.46)
Kyon : What about her? (0:17:53.88)
Haruhi Suzumiya : She said she's fine with it. (0:17:55.67)
Kyon : For real? (0:17:57.51)
Haruhi Suzumiya : When I asked her to lend me this room during lunch... (0:17:58.84)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...she said go ahead. (0:18:01.89)
Haruhi Suzumiya : She doesn't care as long as she can read apparently. (0:18:02.97)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I suppose you could call her an oddball. (0:18:06.43)
Kyon : Yeah. You're one to talk. (0:18:08.94)
Yuki Nagato : Nagato Yuki. (0:18:12.86)
Kyon : Then, Nagato-san. (0:18:15.78)
Kyon : She's planning on turning this room into an I-have-no-idea-what club. (0:18:17.40)
Kyon : Is that still okay with you? (0:18:21.24)
Yuki Nagato : Yes. (0:18:22.74)
Kyon : Well, but... (0:18:23.79)
Kyon : It'll probably be a huge bother. (0:18:25.29)
Yuki Nagato : Not really. (0:18:27.87)
Kyon : You might even get chased out. (0:18:28.54)
Yuki Nagato : Go ahead. (0:18:31.17)
Haruhi Suzumiya : That's that. (0:18:33.92)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Be sure to meet in this room after school from now on. (0:18:35.71)
Haruhi Suzumiya : You better show up! (0:18:38.72)
Haruhi Suzumiya : If you don't, heads will roll! (0:18:40.47)
Kyon : I understand. (0:18:43.05)
Kyon : I like my head where it is. (0:18:44.76)
Haruhi Suzumiya : We have to recruit members first. (0:18:46.52)
Haruhi Suzumiya : We need at least two more. (0:18:48.73)
Kyon : Wait, that means... (0:18:51.06)
Kyon : ...you've already counted in that literary club girl as well? (0:18:52.19)
Kyon : Aren't you confusing her with a piece of furniture that came with the room now? (0:18:55.19)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Rest assured. (0:18:58.86)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I'll find them in no time. (0:18:59.78)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I happen to know of someone made for this club. (0:19:01.28)
Kyon : And so, the next day. (0:19:04.45)
Haruhi Suzumiya : You go on ahead! (0:19:05.99)
Kyon : As for me... (0:19:09.66)
Kyon : Oh well. (0:19:11.67)
Kyon : I shuffled my feet towards the clubroom. (0:19:12.63)
Kyon : Whatcha reading? (0:19:16.17)
Kyon : Is it interesting? (0:19:20.09)
Yuki Nagato : Unique. (0:19:24.26)
Kyon : Which part of it? (0:19:25.60)
Yuki Nagato : All of it. (0:19:28.68)
Kyon : You like books, huh? (0:19:29.73)
Yuki Nagato : Relatively. (0:19:34.11)
Kyon : Is that so... (0:19:35.31)
Kyon : Can I leave now? (0:19:39.11)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Hey! Sorry about being late. (0:19:43.32)
Haruhi Suzumiya : It took a while to catch her. (0:19:45.66)
Kyon : It was another girl. (0:19:47.66)
Kyon : And an extraordinarily beautiful one at that. (0:19:49.58)
Mikuru Asahina : What is this? (0:19:49.95)
Mikuru Asahina : Where are we? (0:19:52.21)
Mikuru Asahina : Why did you bring me here? (0:19:54.17)
Mikuru Asahina : Why are you l-locking the door!? (0:19:58.46)
Mikuru Asahina : What are you— (0:20:00.55)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Be quiet. (0:20:00.97)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Allow me to introduce you. (0:20:04.39)
Haruhi Suzumiya : This is Asahina Mikuru-chan. (0:20:05.43)
Kyon : That's the whole introduction? (0:20:10.68)
Kyon : Where did you abduct her from? (0:20:13.56)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I didn't abduct her. (0:20:15.10)
Haruhi Suzumiya : It was voluntary arrest. (0:20:16.61)
Kyon : Close enough. (0:20:17.82)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I caught her daydreaming in a second-year classroom. (0:20:19.11)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I go through every corner of the school during breaks... (0:20:22.65)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...so I remembered her after spotting her a few times. (0:20:26.70)
Kyon : I was wondering why she wasn't in the classroom during breaks... So that's what she was doing. (0:20:29.16)
Kyon : Then... isn't she an upperclassman? (0:20:34.04)
Haruhi Suzumiya : What about it? (0:20:36.79)
Kyon : Never mind then. (0:20:39.34)
Kyon : Uh... Asahina-san, is it? (0:20:40.34)
Kyon : Why her? (0:20:41.96)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Well, take a look. (0:20:43.76)
Haruhi Suzumiya : She's super cute, isn't she? (0:20:47.26)
Kyon : She sounded like a dangerous kidnapper. (0:20:49.56)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I believe that turn-ons are an essential factor. (0:20:52.02)
Kyon : Sorry. (0:20:56.98)
Kyon : What was that? (0:20:57.73)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Turn-ons! Turn-ons! (0:20:58.52)
Haruhi Suzumiya : This is an element of turning people on. (0:20:59.94)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Fundamentally, in every story where something strange happens... (0:21:02.03)
Haruhi Suzumiya : ...there's always an alluring, lolita-looking character present. (0:21:05.86)
Haruhi Suzumiya : That's not all. (0:21:12.70)
Haruhi Suzumiya : She's so small yet, look. (0:21:17.79)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Her breasts are bigger than mine. (0:21:18.92)
Haruhi Suzumiya : A lolita face with big breasts. (0:21:20.67)
Haruhi Suzumiya : This is an important element of turning people on! (0:21:22.55)
Kyon : News to me. (0:21:25.26)
Haruhi Suzumiya : They really are big... (0:21:26.59)
Haruhi Suzumiya : It's starting to piss me off. (0:21:28.39)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Such a cute face is sporting bigger ones than me! (0:21:30.35)
Kyon : Are you a moron? (0:21:33.31)
Haruhi Suzumiya : But they're really big! (0:21:34.43)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Seriously. (0:21:35.98)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Why don't you touch them? (0:21:36.69)
Kyon : I'll pass. (0:21:39.06)
Kyon : So then, what? (0:21:40.73)
Kyon : The fact that this Asahina-san is cute, small, and has big breasts... (0:21:41.82)
Kyon : ...is why you brought her here? (0:21:47.32)
Haruhi Suzumiya : That's right. (0:21:49.03)
Kyon : She must have been born dumb. (0:21:49.95)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I figure we need a mascot character like her. (0:21:51.95)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Mikuru-chan, are you in any other clubs? (0:21:55.20)
Mikuru Asahina : Um... The calligraphy club. (0:21:58.50)
Haruhi Suzumiya : Quit that then. (0:22:00.42)
Haruhi Suzumiya : It'll conflict with our club activities. (0:22:01.71)
Mikuru Asahina : I see... (0:22:17.81)
Mikuru Asahina : I understand. (0:22:20.06)
Kyon : What did she just understand? (0:22:21.31)
Mikuru Asahina : I'll quit the calligraphy club and join this one. (0:22:22.65)
Mikuru Asahina : But I'm not sure what the literary club does... (0:22:25.65)
Haruhi Suzumiya : We aren't the literary club. (0:22:29.86)
Kyon : We're temporarily borrowing this room. (0:22:32.62)
Kyon : The club you're being forced into... (0:22:35.79)
Kyon : ...is an unnamed association yet to be made by Suzumiya over there that will participate in unknown activities. (0:22:37.91)
Kyon : Incidentally, the person sitting there reading... (0:22:42.84)
Kyon : ...is the real literary club member. (0:22:45.17)
Haruhi Suzumiya : No worries! (0:22:48.76)
Haruhi Suzumiya : I just came up with a name! (0:22:49.97)
Kyon : Let us hear it. (0:22:52.72)
Kyon : Attention everyone. (0:22:54.81)
Kyon : The name of this fledgling club has just been decided. (0:22:56.68)
Haruhi Suzumiya : SOS Brigade! (0:23:01.60)
Kyon : The save the world by overloading it with fun Suzumiya Haruhi's Brigade. (0:23:05.73)
Kyon : Or SOS Brigade for short. (0:23:09.49)
Kyon : Feel free to laugh. (0:23:12.16)
Kyon : Originally, it should have been the save the world by overloading it with fun Suzumiya Haruhi Association... (0:23:15.12)
Kyon : ...but an association hasn't even been formed yet. (0:23:21.71)
Kyon : And nobody has a clue as to what this group is supposed to do. (0:23:24.59)
Haruhi Suzumiya : So brigade is fine then. (0:23:27.34)
Kyon : Haruhi's incomprehensible words... (0:23:30.42)
Kyon : ...settled the matter. Oh, joy. (0:23:32.76)
Kyon : Just do whatever you want. (0:23:35.30)

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The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya