Acquaintance, n.:
	A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well
	enough to lend to.  A degree of friendship called slight when the
	object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.

Acting is not very hard.  The most important things are to be able to laugh
and cry.  If I have to cry, I think of my sex life.  And if I have to laugh,
well, I think of my sex life.
		-- Glenda Jackson

Actor			Real Name

Boris Karloff		William Henry Pratt
Cary Grant		Archibald Leach
Edward G. Robinson	Emmanual Goldenburg
Gene Wilder		Gerald Silberman
John Wayne		Marion Morrison
Kirk Douglas		Issur Danielovitch
Richard Burton		Richard Jenkins, Jr.
Roy Rogers		Leonard Slye
Woody Allen		Allen Stewart Konigsberg

Actor:	"I'm a smash hit.  Why, yesterday during the last act, I had
	everyone glued in their seats!"
Oliver Herford:	"Wonderful!  Wonderful!  Clever of you to think of
	it!"

Actor:	So what do you do for a living?
Doris:	I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving
	dishes for Chinese restaurants.
		-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

Actors will happen even in the best-regulated families.

Actresses will happen in the best regulated families.
		-- Addison Mizner and Oliver Herford,
		   "The Entirely New Cynic's Calendar", 1905

Actually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me.

Actually, the probability is 100% that the elevator
will be going in the right direction.  Proof by induction:

N=1.	Trivially true, since both you and the elevator
	only have one floor to go to.

Assume true for N, prove for N+1:
	If you are on any of the first N floors, then it is true by the
	induction hypothesis.  If you are on the N+1st floor, then both you
	and the elevator have only one choice, namely down.  Therefore,
	it is true for all N+1 floors.
QED.

Ad astra per aspera.  (To the stars by aspiration.)

ADA:
	Something you need only know the name of to be an Expert in
	Computing.  Useful in sentences like, "We had better develop
	an ADA awareness.
		-- "Datamation", January 15, 1984

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit.
[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
		-- Ovid

Adding features does not necessarily increase
functionality -- it just makes the manuals thicker.

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"

Whenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty by
close application thereto, it is worse execute by two persons and
scarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein.
		-- George Washington (1732-1799)

Adding sound to movies would be like
putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.
		-- Mary Pickford, actress, 1925

Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done
something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a
decorous age.
		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Adler's Distinction:
	Language is all that separates us from the lower animals,
	and from the bureaucrats.

Admiration, n.:
	Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Adolescence, n.:
	The stage between puberty and adultery.