Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look
like you ...
		-- Gilda Radner

Adore, v.:
	To venerate expectantly.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Adult, n.:
	One old enough to know better.

Adults die young.

Advancement in position.

Advertisements contain the only
truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
		-- Thomas Jefferson

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest
way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.
		-- Sinclair Lewis

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.
		-- George Orwell

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human
intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Advertising Rule:
	In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the
	reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly,
	that it is curable.

Advice from an old carpenter: measure twice, saw once.

Advice is a dangerous gift; be cautious about giving and receiving it.

Advice to young men: Be ascetic, and if you can't be ascetic,
then at least be aseptic.

African violet:		Such worth is rare
Apple blossom:		Preference
Bachelor's button:	Celibacy
Bay leaf:		I change but in death
Camellia:		Reflected loveliness
Chrysanthemum, red:	I love
Chrysanthemum, white:	Truth
Chrysanthemum, other:	Slighted love
Clover:			Be mine
Crocus:			Abuse not
Daffodil:		Innocence
Forget-me-not:		True love
Fuchsia:		Fast
Gardenia:		Secret, untold love
Honeysuckle:		Bonds of love
Ivy:			Friendship, fidelity, marriage
Jasmine:		Amiability, transports of joy, sensuality
Leaves (dead):		Melancholy
Lilac:			Youthful innocence
Lily:			Purity, sweetness
Lily of the valley:	Return of happiness
Magnolia:		Dignity, perseverance
	* An upside-down blossom reverses the meaning.

After 35 years, I have finished a comprehensive study of European
comparative law.  In Germany, under the law, everything is prohibited,
except that which is permitted.  In France, under the law, everything
is permitted, except that which is prohibited.  In the Soviet Union,
under the law, everything is prohibited, including that which is
permitted.  And in Italy, under the law, everything is permitted,
especially that which is prohibited.
		-- Newton Minow, 1985,
		   Speech to the Association of American Law Schools

After a few boring years, socially meaningful rock 'n' roll died out.
It was replaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life
more advanced than the lichen family.
		-- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do"

After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain.  And futures have
A way of falling down in midflight,
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn
With every goodbye you learn.
		-- Veronic Shoffstall, "Comes the Dawn"

After all, all he did was string together
a lot of old, well-known quotations.
		-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare

After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.