Driving in Texas is simple.  For the first 100 miles you swerve to
avoid jackrabbits.  For the second 100 miles you hit whatever
jackrabbits get in the way.  After that you chase off into the
brush after them.

Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly pointed out
of the car window and said, "That is the most frightening sight I have ever
seen."  His companion was surprised to see nothing more alarming than a
priest in conversation with a little boy, his hand on the child's shoulder.
"Run, little boy," cried Hitchcock, leaning out of the car.  "Run for your
life!"

Drop that pickle!

DROP THE DAMN BEAR!!!
		-- The Adventurer

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.
		-- The Adventurer

Drug, n.:
	A substance that, when injected into a rat, produces a scientific
	paper.

Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!

Drunks are rarely amusing unless they know some good songs and lose a
lot a poker.
		-- Karyl Roosevelt

Ducharme's Axiom:
	If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize
	yourself as part of the problem.

Ducharme's Precept:
	Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Duckies are fun!

Ducks?  What ducks??

Duct tape is like the force.  It has a light side,
and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
		-- Carl Zwanzig

Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the
production of great leaders has been discontinued.

Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your
fate and captain of your soul.

Due to lack of disk space, this fortune database has been
discontinued.

Dungeons and Dragons is just a lot of Saxon Violence.

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
been upon trial.  What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places,
pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,;
in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.
		-- James Madison

During the next two hours, the system will be going up and down several
times, often with lin~po_~{po       ~poz~ppo~{ o n~po_~{o[po	 ~y oodsou>#w4k**n~po_~{ol;lkld;f;g;dd;po~{o

During the Reagan-Mondale debates:

Q:	"Do you feel that a person's age affects his ability to
		perform as president?"
Reagan:	"I refuse to make an issue out of my opponent's youth and
		inexperience."