He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion
on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general
education and culture.
		-- Julia Norton McCorkle

HEAD CRASH!!  FILES LOST!!
Details at 11.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
		-- Redd Foxx

Hear about...
	the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus?
	Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

Hear about...
	the fellow who, upon being told by his shrewish wife that she
	would dance on his grave, promptly provided for a burial at sea?

Hear about...
	the female activist who went berserk during a demonstration and
	attacked a karate-trained cop with a deadly weapon.  She ended
	up a chopped libber?

Hear about...
	the guru who refused Novocaine while having a tooth pulled because
	he wanted to transcend dental medication?

Hear about...
	the pessimistic historian whose latest book has chapter headings
	that read "World War One","World War Two" and "Watch This
	Space"?

Hear about...
	the wild office Christmas party in a completely automated
	company -- the photocopier got drunk and tried to undo the
	typewriter's ribbon?

Hear about...
	the young Chinese woman who just won the lottery?
	One fortunate cookie...

Hear me, my chiefs, I am tired; my heart is sick and sad.
From where the sun now stands I Will Fight No More Forever.
		-- Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce

Heard that the next Space Shuttle is supposed to carry several
Guernsey cows?  It's gonna be the herd shot 'round the world.

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
		-- Frank Morgan as The Wizard, "The Wizard of Oz"

Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant,
on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.
		-- Dr. John Lightfoot,
		   Vice-chancellor of Cambridge University

Heaven, n.:
	A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of
	their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention
	while you expound your own.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Heavier than air flying machines are impossible.
		-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, c. 1895

Heavy, adj.:
	Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.

Hedonist for hire... no job too easy!

Heisenberg may have been here.