Higgeldy Piggeldy,
Hamlet of Elsinore
Ruffled the critics by dropping this bomb:
"Phooey on Freud and his Psychoanalysis --
Oedipus, Shmoedipus, I just loved Mom."

Higgins:	Doolittle, you're either an honest man or a rogue.
Doolittle:	A little of both, Guv'nor.  Like the rest of us, a
		little of both.
		-- Shaw, "Pygmalion"

High heels are a device invented by a woman
who was tired of being kissed on the forehead.

High Priest:	Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
Bro. Maynard:	And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high
	saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
	smash our enemies to tiny bits."  And the Lord did grin, and the
	people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and
	breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
High Priest:	Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard:	And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take
	out the holy pin.  Then shalt thou count to three.  No more, no less.
	*Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the
	counting shall be three.  *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither
	count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three.  Five is
	RIGHT OUT.  Once the number three, being the third number be reached,
	then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being
	naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.  Amen.
All:	Amen.
		-- Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"

HIGH TECHNOLOGY:
	A California innovation composed
	of equal parts of silicon and marijuana.

Higher education helps your earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.

Hildebrant's Principle:
	If you don't know where you are going,
	any road will get you there.

Him:	"Your skin is so soft.  Are you a model?"
Her:	"No,"  [blush]  "I'm a cosmetologist."
Him:	"Really? That's incredible...
	It must be very tough to handle weightlessness."
		-- "The Jerk"

Hindsight is always 20:20.
		-- Billy Wilder

Hindsight is an exact science.

Hippogriff, n.:
	An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.
	The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half
	eagle.  The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter
	eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold.  The study
	of zoology is full of surprises.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Hire the morally handicapped.

His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.
		-- Henry Fielding, "Tom Jones"

...his disciples lead him in; he just does the rest.
		-- Tommy

His eyes were cold.  As cold as the bitter winter snow that was falling
outside.  Yes, cold and therefore difficult to chew...

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god.  He preferred
to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam.  He never
claimed to be a god.  But then, he never claimed not to be a god.  Circum-
stances being what they were, neither admission could be of any benefit.
Silence, though, could.  It was in the days of the rains that their prayers
went up, not from the fingering of knotted prayer cords or the spinning of
prayer wheels, but from the great pray-machine in the monastery of Ratri,
goddess of the Night.  The high-frequency prayers were directed upward through
the atmosphere and out beyond it, passing into that golden cloud called the
Bridge of the Gods, which circles the entire world, is seen as a bronze
rainbow at night and is the place where the red sun becomes orange at midday.
Some of the monks doubted the orthodoxy of this prayer technique...
		-- Roger Zelazny, "Lord of Light"

His great aim was to escape from civilization, and, as soon as he had
money, he went to Southern California.

His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.

His ideas of first-aid stopped short of squirting soda water.
		-- P. G. Wodehouse

His life was formal; his actions seemed ruled with a ruler.