Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Honorable, adj.:
	Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach.  In legislative
	bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as,
	"the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur."
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
		-- Francis Bacon

Hope is a waking dream.
		-- Aristotle

Hope not, lest ye be disappointed.
		-- M. Horner

Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.

Hoping to goodness is not theologically sound.
		-- Peanuts

Horace's best ode would not please a young woman as much
as the mediocre verses of the young man she is in love with.
		-- Moore

Horner's Five Thumb Postulate:
	Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Horngren's Observation:
	Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
		-- Jack Benny

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
		-- W. C. Fields

HOST SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING, PROBABLY DOWN. DO YOU WANT TO WAIT? (Y/N)

HOST SYSTEM RESPONDING, PROBABLY UP...

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off.  I checked into a hotel and they
had towels from my house.
		-- Mark Guido

Houdini escaping from New Jersey!

Household hint:
	If you are out of cream for your coffee,
	mayonnaise makes a dandy substitute.

Housework can kill you if done right.
		-- Erma Bombeck

Houston, Tranquillity Base here.  The Eagle has landed.
		-- Neil Armstrong

How apt the poor are to be proud.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Twelfth-Night"