How many "coming men" has one known!  Where on earth do they all go to?
		-- Sir Arthur Wing Pinero

"How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being
carried by a waiter at a nice party?"

Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors
d'oeuvre.  If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell
what's inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then
say:  "This is cheese!  I hate cheese!"  Then you put the rest of it
back on the tray and bite another one and go, "Darn it!  Another
cheese!" and so on.
		-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"

How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass?

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: "We'll document it in the manual."

How many weeks are there in a light year?

How much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to
Dayton?
		-- Brian Boyle, UNIX/WORLD's First Annual Salary Survey

How much does she love you?
Less than you'll ever know.

How much for your women?  I want to buy your
daughter... how much for the little girl?
		-- Jake Blues, "The Blues Brothers"

How much net work could a network work, if a network could net work?

How much of their influence on you is a result of your influence on them?

How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
		-- R. Buckminster Fuller

How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.

How sharper than a serpent's tooth is a sister's "See?"
		-- Linus Van Pelt

How to become a sysop:
	I grew a beard, started wearing only t-shirts and jeans, and
	developed a surly attitude. The group accepted me, and I've never
	worked a full day in my life since then.
		-- rho/slashdot

How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children
		-- Book title by Lewis B. Frumkes

How untasteful can you get?

How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.

HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
	#1040 Your income tax refund cheque bounces.

HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
	#15 Your pet rock snaps at you.

HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
	#32: You call your answering service and they've never heard of
	     you.