Avoid cliches like the plague.
They're a dime a dozen.

Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.

Avoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep.
		-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"

Avoid reality at all costs.

Avoid revolution or expect to get shot.  Mother and I will grieve, but
we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you.
		-- Dr. Paul Williamson, father of a Kent State student

Avoid strange women and temporary variables.

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
		-- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
		   bad fiction contest.

Bacchus, n.:
	A convenient deity invented by the ancients
	as an excuse for getting drunk.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

BACHELOR:
	A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

BACHELOR:
	A man who chases women and never Mrs. one.

Back in '80 or '81 the workers were rioting in Gdansk and there were fears
that the Soviets would invade Poland to put down the demonstrations.  Foreign
correspondents were curious as to just what the Poles would do if they were
invaded.  They asked, "What will you do if the East Germans invade from the
West and the Soviets invade from the East?  Who will you fight first?"
	To which the Poles replied, "Why, we will fight the Germans first.
Business before pleasure."

Back in the early 60's, touch tone phones only had 10 buttons.  Some
military versions had 16, while the 12 button jobs were used only by people
who had "diva" (digital inquiry, voice answerback) systems -- mainly banks.
Since in those days, only Western Electric made "data sets" (modems) the
problems of terminology were all Bell System.  We used to struggle with
written descriptions of dial pads that were unfamiliar to most people
(most phones were rotary then.)  Partly in jest, some AT&T engineering
types (there was no marketing in the good old days, which is why they were
the good old days) made up the term "octalthorpe" (note spelling) to denote
the "pound sign."  Presumably because it has 8 points sticking out.  It
never really caught on.

Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere,
uphill both ways and it was always snowing.

BACKWARD CONDITIONING:
	Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to make a bell ring.

Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string.

BAD CRAZINESS, MAN!!!

Bad men live that they may eat and drink,
whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.
		-- Socrates

Bagbiter:
	1. n.; Equipment or program that fails, usually
intermittently.  2. adj.:  Failing hardware or software.  "This
bagbiting system won't let me get out of spacewar."  Usage:  verges on
obscenity.  Grammatically separable; one may speak of "biting the
bag".  Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS, BLETCHEROUS, BARFUCIOUS,
CHOMPER, CHOMPING.

Bagdikian's Observation:
	Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper
	is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukulele.

Bahdges?  We don't need no stinkin' bahdges!
		-- "The Treasure of Sierra Madre"