Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry:
	A block grant is a solid mass of money
	surrounded on all sides by governors.

BALLISTOPHOBIA:
	Fear of bullets;
OTOPHOBIA:
	Fear of opening one's eyes.
PECCATOPHOBIA:
	Fear of sinning.
TAPHEPHOBIA:
	Fear of being buried alive.
SITOPHOBIA:
	Fear of food.
TRICHOPHOBIA:
	Fear of hair.
VESTIPHOBIA:
	Fear of clothing.

BALTIMORE:
	A wharf-rat stealing Diogenes' lamp.

Ban the bomb.  Save the world for conventional warfare.

Banacek's Eighteenth Polish Proverb:
	The hippo has no sting, but the wise
	man would rather be sat upon by the bee.

Banectomy, n.:
	The removal of bruises on a banana.
		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.

Barach's Rule:
	An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

Barbara's Rules of Bitter Experience:
	(1) When you empty a drawer for his clothes
	    and a shelf for his toiletries, the relationship ends.
	(2) When you finally buy pretty stationary
	    to continue the correspondence, he stops writing.

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they point upward from the
floor -- especially in the dark.

Barker's Proof:
	Proofreading is more effective after publication.

Barometer, n.:
	An ingenious instrument which indicates
	what kind of weather we are having.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Barth's Distinction:
	There are two types of people: those who divide people into two
types, and those who don't.

Baruch's Observation:
	If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers.
		-- Tom Lehrer

Baseball is a skilled game.  It's America's game -- it, and high taxes.
		-- Will Rogers

Basic Definitions of Science:
	If it's green or wiggles, it's biology.
	If it stinks, it's chemistry.
	If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Basic is a high level languish.
APL is a high level anguish.

BASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of "Scientific Creationism."

BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.
		-- Seymour Papert