Cobol programmers are down in the dumps.

Code rot -- mostly caused by people redefining "fresh".
		-- Wes Peters

Coding is easy;  All you do is sit staring at a
terminal until the drops of blood form on your forehead.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
"I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong.
		-- Blair Houghton

Cohen's Law:
	There is no bottom to worse.

Cohn's Law:
	The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less
	time you have to do anything.  Stability is achieved when you spend
	all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.

Coincidence, n.:
	You weren't paying attention to the other half of what was
	going on.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.
		-- G. K. Chesterton

Cold, adj.:
	When the local flashers are handing out written descriptions.

Cold, adj.:
	When the politicians walk around with their hands in their own
	pockets.

Cold hands, no gloves.

Cole's Law:
	Thinly sliced cabbage.

Collaboration, n.:
	A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the
	other fellow can spell.

COLLEGE:
	The fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.

College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the
faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if
the trustees played.  There would be a great increase in broken arms,
legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the
loss to humanity.
		-- H. L. Mencken

COLORADO:
	Where they don't buy M & M's, 'cause they're so hard to peel.

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

Column 1		Column 2		Column 3

0. integrated		0. management		0. options
1. total		1. organizational	1. flexibility
2. systematized		2. monitored		2. capability
3. parallel		3. reciprocal		3. mobility
4. functional		4. digital		4. programming
5. responsive		5. logistical		5. concept
6. optional		6. transitional		6. time-phase
7. synchronized		7. incremental		7. projection
8. compatible		8. third-generation	8. hardware
9. balanced		9. policy		9. contingency

	The procedure is simple.  Think of any three-digit number, then select
the corresponding buzzword from each column.  For instance, number 257 produces
"systematized logistical projection," a phrase that can be dropped into
virtually any report with that ring of decisive, knowledgeable authority.  "No
one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about," says Broughton,
"but the important thing is that they're not about to admit it."
		-- Philip Broughton, "How to Win at Wordsmanship"

Colvard's Logical Premises:
	All probabilities are 50%.
Either a thing will happen or it won't.

Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary:
	This is especially true when
	dealing with someone you're attracted to.

Grelb's Commentary:
	Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.