Chicago, n.:
	Where the dead still vote ... early and often!

Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #36:
	Never ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn
	headgear where he got his "pyramid powered pizza warmer".
		-- Chicago Reader 3/27/81

Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84:
	The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request
for overheated passengers.  When your timer pops up, the driver will
cheerfully baste you.
		-- Chicago Reader 5/28/82

Chicagoan:	"So, where're you from?"
Hoosier:	"What's wrong with Indiana?"

Chicken Little only has to be right once.

Chicken Little was right.

Chicken Soup, n.:
	An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin,
	cocaine, interferon, and TLC.  The only ailment chicken soup
	can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother.
		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

Chihuahuas drive me crazy.  I can't stand anything that
shivers when it's warm.

Children are like cats, they can tell when you don't like
them.  That's when they come over and violate your body space.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents
despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children are unpredictable.  You never know what inconsistency they're
going to catch you in next.
		-- Franklin P. Jones

Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
		-- Ogden Nash

Children begin by loving their parents.  After a time they judge them.
Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
		-- Oscar Wilde

Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually
repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
		-- Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"

Chinese saying: "He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks."

Chism's Law of Completion:
	The amount of time required to complete a government project is
	precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.

Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law:
	When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.

Chivalry, Schmivalry!
	Roger the thief has a
	method he uses for
	sneaky attacks:
Folks who are reading are
	Characteristically
	Always Forgetting to
	Guard their own bac ...

Chocolate Chip.