Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of
fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture.  Of course,
the same can be said of dirt.

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.:
	The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
	dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it,
	then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Carson's Consolation:
	Nothing is ever a complete failure.
	It can always be used as a bad example.

Carson's Observation on Footwear:
	If the shoe fits, buy the other one too.

Carswell's Corollary:
	Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap,
	nature invariably comes up with a better mouse.

Cat, n.:
	Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.

Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world.
		-- The Beach Boys

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.
		-- Howard Chaykin

Catproof is an oxymoron, childproof nearly so.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
		-- Garrison Keillor

Cats are smarter than dogs.  You can't make eight cats pull
a sled through the snow.

Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the wind.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson"

Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Caution: Keep out of reach of children.

CChheecckk  yyoouurr  dduupplleexx  sswwiittcchh..

CCI Power 6/40: one board, a megabyte of cache, and an attitude...

Cecil, you're my final hope
Of finding out the true Straight Dope
For I have been reading of Schrodinger's cat
But none of my cats are at all like that.
This unusual animal (so it is said)
Is simultaneously alive and dead!
What I don't understand is just why he
Can't be one or the other, unquestionably.
My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
In one I'm enlightened, in the other I ain't.
If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way
And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
Then I will *_a_n_d* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo.
		-- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium
		   of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams

Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.

Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center
of the universe.  The premise is wrong, but the navigation works.  An
incorrect model can be a useful tool.
		-- Kelvin Throop III