Census Taker to Housewife:
Did you ever have the measles, and, if so, how many?

Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543.

Cerebral atrophy, n.:
	The phenomena which occurs as brain cells become weak and sick, and
impair the brain's performance.  An abundance of these "bad" cells can cause
symptoms related to senility, apathy, depression, and overall poor academic
performance.  A certain small number of brain cells will deteriorate due to
everyday activity, but large amounts are weakened by intense mental effort
and the assimilation of difficult concepts.  Many college students become
victims of this dread disorder due to poor habits such as overstudying.

Cerebral darwinism, n.:
	The theory that the effects of cerebral atrophy can be reversed
through the purging action of heavy alcohol consumption.  Large amounts of
alcohol cause many brain cells to perish due to oxygen deprivation.  Through
the process of natural selection, the weak and sick brain cells will die
first, leaving only the healthy cells.  This wonderful process leaves the
imbiber with a healthier, more vibrant brain, and increases mental capacity.
Thus, the devastating effects of cerebral atrophy are reversed, and academic
performance actually increases beyond previous levels.

Cerebus:	I'd love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
Jaka:		Look, Cerebus -- Jaka has to tell you ... something
Cerebus:	If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy
		out of it?
Jaka:		Ugh!
Cerebus:	You don't like apricot brandy?
		-- Cerebus #6, "The Secret"

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long
walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh.  They
then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy
health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old,
not because of their habits, but in spite of them.  The reason we find
only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the
others who have tried it.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and
the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion.  A judge of the Court
of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate
which reads, "In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order,
the expression nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground
nuts, as would but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts
(unground) (other than ground nuts) by reason of their being nuts
(unground)."
		-- Guinness Book of World Records, 1973

Certainly the game is rigged.
Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.
		-- Robert A. Heinlein, "Time Enough For Love"

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
But it's very funny --
did you ever try buying them without money?
		-- Ogden Nash

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre!

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas l'Informatique.
		-- Bosquet [on seeing the IBM 4341]

CF&C stole it, fair and square.
		-- Tim Hahn

Chairman of the Bored.

Chamberlain's Laws:
	1: The big guys always win.
	2: Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.
		-- Anatole France

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Changing husbands/wives is only changing troubles.
		-- Kathleen Norris

Chaos is King and Magic is loose in the world.

Chapter 2:  Newtonian Growth and Decay

	The growth-decay formulas were developed in the trivial fashion by
Isaac Newton's famous brother Phigg.  His idea was to provide an equation
that would describe a quantity that would dwindle and dwindle, but never
quite reach zero.  Historically, he was merely trying to work out his
mortgage.  Another versatile equation also emerged, one which would define
a function that would continue to grow, but never reach unity.  This equation
can be applied to charging capacitors, over-damped springs, and the human
race in general.

Character density, n.:
	The number of very weird people in the office.

Character is what you are in the dark!
		-- Lord John Whorfin