Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling
the walk before it stops snowing.
		-- Phyllis Diller

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
		-- P. J. O'Rourke

Cleanliness is next to impossible.

CLEVELAND:
	Where their last tornado did six
	million dollars worth of improvements.

Cleveland still lives.  God _m_u_s_t be dead.

Cleveland?
Yes, I spent a week there one day.

Climate and Surgery
	R C Gilchrist, who was shot by J Sharp twelve days ago, and who
received a derringer ball in the right breast, and who it was supposed at
the time could not live many hours, was on the street yesterday and the
day before - walking several blocks at a time.  To those who design to be
riddled with bullets or cut to pieces with Bowie-knives, we cordially
recommend our Sacramento climate and Sacramento surgery.
		-- Sacramento Daily Union, September 11, 1861

Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
	"Wait a minute.  Aren't you a string?"
	"Well, yes, I am."
	"Sorry.  We don't serve strings here."
	The determined string left the bar and stopped a passer-by.  "Excuse,
me," it said, "would you shred my ends and tie me up like a pretzel?"  The
passer-by obliged, and the string re-entered the bar.  "May I have a beer,
please?" it asked the bartender.
	The barkeep set a beer in front of the string, then suddenly stopped.
"Hey, aren't you the string I just threw out of here?"
	"No, I'm a frayed knot."

Clone, n.:
	1. An exact duplicate, as in "our product is a clone of their
	product."  2. A shoddy, spurious copy, as in "their product
	is a clone of our product."

Clones are people two.

Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
		-- Mark Twain

Clovis' Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly:
	The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated
	than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,
	bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm:  No, I know what they look like.  Just pour me one.
		-- Cheers, No Help Wanted

Coach: How about a beer, Norm?
Norm:  Hey I'm high on life, Coach.  Of course, beer is my life.
		-- Cheers, No Help Wanted

Coach: How's a beer sound, Norm?
Norm:  I dunno.  I usually finish them before they get a word in.
		-- Cheers, Fortune and Men's Weights

Coach: How's it going, Norm?
Norm:  Daddy's rich and Momma's good lookin'.
		-- Cheers, Truce or Consequences

Sam:   What's up, Norm?
Norm:  My nipples.  It's freezing out there.
		-- Cheers, Coach Returns to Action

Coach: What's the story, Norm?
Norm:  Thirsty guy walks into a bar.  You finish it.
		-- Cheers, Endless Slumper

Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm:  Daddy wuvs you.
		-- Cheers, The Mail Goes to Jail

Sam:  What'd you like, Normie?
Norm: A reason to live.  Gimme another beer.
		-- Cheers, Behind Every Great Man

Sam:	What will you have, Norm?
Norm:	Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy.  I'll take a glass
	of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam:	Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm:	Call me Mister Lucky.
		-- Cheers, The Executive's Executioner

Coach: What's up, Norm?
Norm:  Corners of my mouth, Coach.
		-- Cheers, Fortune and Men's Weights

Coach:  What's shaking, Norm?
Norm:   All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.
		-- Cheers, Snow Job

Coach:  Beer, Normie?
Norm:   Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week.
	Eh, why not, I'm still young.
		-- Cheers, Snow Job

COBOL:
	An exercise in Artificial Inelegance.

COBOL:
	Completely Over and Beyond reason Or Logic.

COBOL is for morons.
		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra