Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
		-- Aldous Huxley

Failed Attempts To Break Records
	In September 1978 Mr. Terry Gripton, of Stafford, failed to break
the world shouting record by two and a half decibels.  "I am not surprised
he failed," his wife said afterwards.  "He's really a very quiet man and
doesn't even shout at me."
	In August of the same year Mr. Paul Anthony failed to break the
record for continuous organ playing by 387 hours.
	His attempt at the Golden Fish Fry Restaurant in Manchester ended
after 36 hours 10 minutes, when he was accused of disturbing the peace.
"People complained I was too noisy," he said.
	In January 1976 Mr. Barry McQueen failed to walk backwards across
the Menai Bridge playing the bagpipes.  "It was raining heavily and my
drone got waterlogged," he said.
	A TV cameraman thwarted Mr. Bob Specas' attempt to topple 100,000
dominoes at the Manhattan Center, New York on 9 June 1978.  97,500 dominoes
had been set up when he dropped his press badge and set them off.
		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.
		-- Sir Walter Raleigh

Fairy Tale, n.:
	A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.

Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.

Faith has never moved as much as a pin-head from the place it
ought to be according to tradition and the scriptures.  It is
the doubt that moved all the mountains.
		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)

Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam
on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.

Faith is under the left nipple.
		-- Martin Luther

Faith, n.:
	That quality which enables us to
	believe what we know to be untrue.

Fakir, n.:
	A psychologist whose charismatic data have inspired almost
	religious devotion in his followers, even though the sources
	seem to have shinnied up a rope and vanished.

Falling in Love
	When two people have been on enough dates, they generally fall in
love.  You can tell you're in love by the way you feel: your head becomes
light, your heart leaps within you, you feel like you're walking on air,
and the whole world seems like a wonderful and happy place.  Unfortunately,
these are also the four warning signs of colon disease, so it's always a
good idea to check with your doctor.
		-- Dave Barry

Falling in love is a lot like dying.
You never get to do it enough to become good at it.

Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in
restraint.
		-- Dave Sim, author of "Cerebus"

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident;
the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
		-- Mark Twain

Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an
autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.
		-- Marlo Thomas

Fame may be fleeting but obscurity is forever.

Familiarity breeds attempt.

Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
		-- Mark Twain

Families, when a child is born
Want it to be intelligent.
I, through intelligence,
Having wrecked my whole life,
Only hope the baby will prove
Ignorant and stupid.
Then he will crown a tranquil life
By becoming a Cabinet Minister
		-- Su Tung-p'o