Filibuster, n.:
	Throwing your wait around.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.
		-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Finagle's Creed:
	Science is true.  Don't be misled by facts.

Finagle's Eighth Law:
	If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Finagle's Ninth Law:
	No matter what results are expected,
	someone is always willing to fake it.

Finagle's Tenth Law:
	No matter what the result someone
	is always eager to misinterpret it.

Finagle's Eleventh Law:
	No matter what occurs, someone believes
	it happened according to his pet theory.

Finagle's First Law:
	To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.

Finagle's Second Law:
	Always keep a record of data -- it indicates you've been working.

Finagle's Fourth Law:
	Once a job is fouled up,
	anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Finagle's Fifth Law:
	Always draw your curves, then plot your readings.

Finagle's Sixth Law:
	Don't believe in miracles -- rely on them.

Finagle's Second Law:
	No matter what the anticipated result, there will always be
	someone eager to (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or
	(c) believe it happened according to his own pet theory.

Finagle's Seventh Law:
	The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.

Finagle's Third Law:
	In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,
	beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

Corollaries:
	1. Nobody whom you ask for help will see it.
	2. The first person who stops by, whose advice you really
	   don't want to hear, will see it immediately.

Finality is death.
Perfection is finality.
Nothing is perfect.
There are lumps in it.

Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture
on a rock.
		-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981

Fine day for friends.
So-so day for you.

Fine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.

Fine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.

Fine's Corollary:
	Functionality breeds Contempt.

Finish the sentence below in 25 words or less:

	"Love is what you feel just before you give someone a good ..."

Mail your answer along with the top half of your supervisor to:

	P.O. Box 35
	Baffled Greek, Michigan

Finster's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

First, a few words about tools.

Basically, a tool is an object that enables you to take advantage of
the laws of physics and mechanics in such a way that you can seriously
injure yourself.  Today, people tend to take tools for granted.  If
you're ever walking down the street and you notice some people who look
particularly smug, the odds are that they are taking tools for
granted.  If I were you, I'd walk right up and smack them in the face.
		-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"

First Corollary of Taber's Second Law:
	Machines that piss people off get murdered.
		-- Pat Taber

First Law of Bicycling:
	No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

First law of debate:
	Never argue with a fool.  People might not know the difference.