Flattery will get you everywhere.

Flee at once, all is discovered.

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
		-- Helen Rowland

Flon's Law:
	There is not now, and never will be, a language in
	which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her
husband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer!  My joules!  Someone has stolen my
joules!"

"Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and reflux
a moment.  Perhaps they're mislead."

"No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence.  "I remember putting them
in my burette ... We must call a copper."

Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms,
said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the name
of Lawrence Ium.

"We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, and
dangerous.  His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium.  Maybe I can
catch him there."  With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an
activated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ...
		-- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"

Flowchart, n. & v.:
	[From flow "to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair" + chart
"a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated."]
1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni construction
problems in which given algorithms require geometrical representation
using only the 35 basic ideograms of the ANSI template.  2. n. Neronic
doodling while the system burns.  3. n. A low-cost substitute for
wallpaper.  4. n.  The innumerate misleading the illiterate.  "A
thousand pictures is worth ten lines of code." -- The Programmer's
Little Red Vade Mecum, Mao Tse T'umps.  5. v.intrans. To produce
flowcharts with no particular object in mind.  6. v.trans. To obfuscate
(a problem) with esoteric cartoons.
		-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"

Flugg's Law:
	When you need to knock on wood is when you realize
	that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.

Fly me away to the bright side of the moon ...

Flying is the second greatest feeling you can have.  The greatest feeling?
Landing...  Landing is the greatest feeling you can have.

Flying saucers on occasion
	Show themselves to human eyes.
Aliens fume, put off invasion
	While they brand these tales as lies.

Fog Lamps, n.:
	Excessively (often obnoxiously) bright lamps mounted on the fronts
	of automobiles; used on dry, clear nights to indicate that the
	driver's brain is in a fog.  See also "Idiot Lights".

Follow me around.  I don't care.  I'm serious.  If anybody wants to put a
tail on me, go ahead.  They'd be very bored.
		-- Gary Hart, announcing his presidential candidacy,
		   commenting on rumors of womanizing.

Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.
		-- Walt Kelly, "Potluck Pogo"

Foolproof Operation:
	No provision for adjustment.

Fools rush in -- and get the best seats in the house.

Football builds self-discipline.  What else would induce
a spectator to sit out in the open in subfreezing weather?

Football combines the two worst features of American life.
It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
		-- George F. Will, "Men At Work:  The Craft of Baseball"

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets.
		-- Jimmy Breslin

For 20 dollars, I'll give you a good fortune next time ...

For a good time, call (510) 642-9483