Hacker's Guide To Cooking:
2 pkg. cream cheese (the mushy white stuff in silver wrappings that doesn't
	really come from Philadelphia after all; anyway, about 16 oz.)
1 tsp. vanilla extract (which is more alcohol than vanilla and pretty
	strong so this part you *GOTTA* measure)
1/4 cup sugar (but honey works fine too)
8 oz. Cool Whip (the fluffy stuff devoid of nutritional value that you
	can squirt all over your friends and lick off...)
"Blend all together until creamy with no lumps."  This is where you get to
	join(1) all the raw data in a big buffer and then filter it through
	merge(1m) with the -thick option, I mean, it starts out ultra lumpy
	and icky looking and you have to work hard to mix it.  Try an electric
	beater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick it off
	the ceiling(3m).
"Pour into a graham cracker crust..."  Aha, the BUGS section at last.  You
	just happened to have a GCC sitting around under /etc/food, right?
	If not, don't panic(8), merely crumble a rand(3m) handful of innocent
	GCs into a suitable tempfile and mix in some melted butter.
"...and refrigerate for an hour."  Leave the recipe's stdout in a fridge
	for 3.6E6 milliseconds while you work on cleaning up stderr, and
	by time out your cheesecake will be ready for stdin.

Hacker's Law:
	The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a
	nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.

Hackers of the world, unite!

Hacker's Quicky #313:
	Sour Cream -n- Onion Potato Chips
	Microwave Egg Roll
	Chocolate Milk

Hacking's just another word for nothing left to kludge.

Had he and I but met
By some old ancient inn,		But ranged as infantry,
We should have sat us down to wet	And staring face to face,
Right many a nipperkin!			I shot at him as he at me,
					And killed him in his place.
I shot him dead because --
Because he was my foe,			He thought he'd 'list, perhaps,
Just so: my foe of course he was;	Off-hand-like -- just as I --
That's clear enough; although		Was out of work -- had sold his traps
					No other reason why.
Yes; quaint and curious war is!
You shoot a fellow down
You'd treat, if met where any bar is
Or help to half-a-crown.
		-- Thomas Hardy

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some
useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.
		-- Alfonso the Wise

	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to operating system initialization.]

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have
fled in terror, and you would not have been informed.

Hail to the sun god
He's such a fun god
Ra! Ra! Ra!

Hailing frequencies open, Captain.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side?  And hain't that
a big enough majority in any town?
		-- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"

Hale Mail Rule, The:
	When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least
	one of the following:
			(a) A pen or pencil or typewriter.
			(b) Stationery.
			(c) Postage stamp.
			(d) The letter you are answering.

Half a bee, philosophically, must ipso facto half not be.
But half the bee has got to be, vis-a-vis its entity.  See?
But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee,
When half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?

Half Moon tonight.  (At least it is better than no Moon at all.)

Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't,
and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

Half-done, n.:
	This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still crunchy,
	light green, yet full of garlic flavor.  The difference between this
	and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the
	difference between life and death.

	You may find it difficult to find a good half-done kosher dill there
	in Seattle, so what you should do is take a cab out to the airport,
	fly to New York, take the JFK Express to Jay Street-Borough Hall,
	transfer to an uptown F, get off at East Broadway, walk north on
	Essex (along the park), make your first left onto Hester Street, walk
	about fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop.  Say to the
	man, "Let me have a nice half-done."  Worth the trouble, wasn't it?
		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

Halley's Comet: It came, we saw, we drank.

Hall's Laws of Politics:
	(1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending.
	(2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want
	    something fixed.
	(3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend
	    military spending, and conservatives social spending in
	    their own districts).

Hand, n.:
	A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and
	commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"