Got a complaint about the Internal Revenue Service?
Call the convenient toll-free "IRS Taxpayer Complaint Hot Line Number":

	1-800-AUDITME

Got a dictionary?  I want to know the meaning of life.

Got a wife and kids in Baltimore Jack,
I went out for a ride and never came back.
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing,
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going.

	Everybody's got a hungry heart.
	Everybody's got a hungry heart.
	Lay down your money and you play your part,
	Everybody's got a hungry heart.

I met her in a Kingstown bar,
We fell in love, I knew it had to end.
We took what we had and we ripped it apart,
Now here I am down in Kingstown again.

Everybody needs a place to rest,
Everybody wants to have a home.
Don't make no difference what nobody says,
Ain't nobody likes to be alone.
		-- Bruce Springsteen, "Hungry Heart"

Got Mole problems?
Call Avogadro at 6.02 x 10^23.

Goto, n.:
	A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers
	to complain about unstructured programmers.
		-- Ray Simard

Gourmet, n.:
	Anyone whom, when you fail to finish something strange or
	revolting, remarks that it's an acquired taste and that you're
	leaving the best part.

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish.  Don't overdo it.
		-- Lao Tsu

Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.
		-- John Updike, "Couples"

Government lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy they are
different lies.

Government spending?  I don't know what it's all about.  I don't know any
more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't
know much.
		-- The Best of Will Rogers

Government's Law:
	There is an exception to all laws.

Governor Tarkin.  I should have expected to find you holding Vader's
leash.  I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on
board.
		-- Princess Leia Organa

Grabel's Law:
	2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large values of 2.

Graduate life -- it's not just a job, it's an indenture.

Graduate students and most professors are
no smarter than undergrads.  They're just older.

Grand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine.  When he awoke
he exclaimed:
	"I don't know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine,
	or a machine dreaming that I am Turing!"
		-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"

Grandpa Charnock's Law:
	You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

	[I thought it was when your kids learned to drive.  Ed.]

Graphics blind the eyes.
Audio files deafen the ear.
Mouse clicks numb the fingers.
Heuristics weaken the mind.
Options wither the heart.

The Guru observes the net
but trusts his inner vision.
He allows things to come and go.
His heart is as open as the ether.

GRASSHOPPOTAMUS:
	A creature that can leap to tremendous heights... once.

Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion.
		-- Joseph Alsop