I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.
		-- Jay Gould

I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart,
and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs.
		-- Larry Lee

I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

I can relate to that.

I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and
25 percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be
true.
		-- Harry S. Truman

I can resist anything but temptation.

I can see him a'comin'
With his big boots on,
With his big thumb out,
He wants to get me.
He wants to hurt me.
He wants to bring me down.
But some time later,
When I feel a little straighter,
I'll come across a stranger
Who'll remind me of the danger,
And then.... I'll run him over.
Pretty smart on my part!
To find my way... In the dark!
		-- Phil Ochs

I can write better than anybody who can write faster,
and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
		-- A. J. Liebling

I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
		-- Lillian Hellman

I cannot believe that God plays dice with the cosmos.
		-- Albert Einstein, on the randomness of quantum mechanics

I cannot conceive that anybody will require multiplications at the rate
of 40,000 or even 4,000 per hour ...
		-- F. H. Wales (1936)

I cannot draw a cart, nor eat dried oats;
If it be man's work I will do it.

I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar.

What a crock.  I could easily overemphasize the importance of good
grammar.  For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause
of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the
United States would have lost World War II."
		-- Dave Barry, "An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar"

I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
		-- Steven Pearl

I CAN'T come back, I don't know how it works.
		-- Frank Morgan as The Wizard, "The Wizard of Oz"

I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
		-- Joe Walsh

I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling.
		-- Florence Henderson

I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.
		-- Phil Harris

I Can't Get Over You, So I Get Up and Go Around to the Other Side
If You Won't Leave Me Alone, I'll Find Someone Who Will
I Knew That You'd Committed a Sin When You Came Home Late With
	Your Socks Outside-in
I'm a Rabbit in the Headlights of Your Love
Don't Kick My Tires If You Ain't Gonna Take Me For a Ride
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies and I'm Blue All the Time
		-- proposed Country-Western song titles from "Wordplay"

I can't mate in captivity.
		-- Gloria Steinem, on why she has never married