A sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard.
		-- Prof. Steiner

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
		-- Joseph Stalin

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met.
All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet--
One perfect rose.

I knew the language of the floweret;
"My fragile leaves," it said, "his heart enclose."
Love long has taken for his amulet
One perfect rose.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.
		-- Dorothy Parker, "One Perfect Rose"

A sinking ship gathers no moss.
		-- Donald Kaul

A small town that cannot support one lawyer can always support two.

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.

A snake lurks in the grass.
		-- Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil)

A social scientist, studying the culture and traditions of a small North
African tribe, found a woman still practicing the ancient art of matchmaking.
Locally, she was known as the Moor, the marrier.

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family,
the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society
which is on its way out.
		-- L. Ron Hubbard

A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.
		-- Proverbs 15:1

A soft drink turneth away company.

A song in time is worth a dime.

A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the
family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.  He's only been there a few weeks
when he gets a call from his girlfriend; seems like they've got a problem,
and she needs a thousand dollars to take care of it.  The boy calls his folks:
	"How are you?" they ask.
	"Oh, I'm fine," he says.
	"And how," they ask, "is Old Blue?"
	"Well, he's kind of depressed.  You see, there's this lady up here
that teaches dogs to talk, and Ol' Blue is feelin' kind of left out 'cause
he's the only dog that doesn't know how to talk.  She charges a thousand
dollars."
	The parents send the boy the thousand dollars, he forwards it to Mary
Lou, and everything's fine until Christmas vacation.  The boy leaves Ol' Blue
at his dorm, 'cause he just can't figure out what to tell his parents.  Sure
enough, when he gets home, the first thing his father wants to know is
"Where's Old Blue?"
	"Well, Pa," says the boy.  "I was driving on home and Old Blue was
talking away about this and that when we passed the Buford's farm.  Old Blue,
well, he said, `Say, what do you think your mother would do if I told her
that your father's been comin' over here and seeing Mrs. Buford all these
years?'"
	The father looks at his son -- "You shot that dog, didn't you, boy?"

A squeegee by any other name wouldn't sound as funny.

A statesman is a politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years.
		-- Harry S. Truman

A statistician, who refused to fly after reading of the alarmingly high
probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane, realized that
the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low.
Now, whenever he flies, he carries a bomb with him.

A stitch in time saves nine.

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
		-- O'Henry

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many
bad measures.
		-- Daniel Webster

A student, in hopes of understanding the Lambda-nature, came to Greenblatt.
As they spoke a Multics system hacker walked by.  "Is it true", asked the
student, "that PL-1 has many of the same data types as Lisp?"  Almost before
the student had finished his question, Greenblatt shouted, "FOO!", and hit
the student with a stick.