Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this
big field of rye and all.  Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around --
nobody big, I mean -- except me.  And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy
cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go
over the cliff -- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're
going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.  That's all I'd do
all day.  I'd just be the catcher in the rye.  I know it;  I know it's crazy,
but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.  I know it's crazy.
		-- J. D. Salinger, "Catcher in the Rye"

Apathy Club meeting this Friday.
If you want to come, you're not invited.

Apathy is not the problem, it's the solution.

APHASIA:
	Loss of speech in social scientists when asked
	at parties, "But of what use is your research?"

Aphorism, n.:
	A concise, clever statement.
Afterism, n.:
	A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
		-- James Alexander Thom

APL hackers do it in the quad.

APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection.  It is the language of the
future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation
of coding bums.
		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5

APL is a natural extension of assembler language programming;
...and is best for educational purposes.
		-- Alan J. Perlis

APL is a write-only language.  I can write programs
in APL, but I can't read any of them.
		-- Roy Keir

Appearances often are deceiving.
		-- Aesop

APPENDIX:
	A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.

Applause, n.:
	The echo of a platitude from the mouth of a fool.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

April is the cruelest month...
		-- Thomas Stearns Eliot

Aquadextrous, adj.:
	Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub
	faucet on and off with your toes.
		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
	You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.
	You lie a great deal.  On the other hand, you are inclined to be
	careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over
	and over again.  People think you are stupid.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
	A friend will step forward and confide in you about your breath.  Rely
	on your outgoing personality and winning smile to get you into a lot
	of trouble.  Be relaxed, things will change.  Look for a pink slip on
	payday.  Stop wetting your bed.

AQUARIUS (Jan.20 - Feb.18)
	You are the type of person who never has enough money to do what
	you want.  Don't expect things to get any better today, either.
	As a matter of fact they might get worse.  Intensify your
	relationship with your bank and any friends you have who might be
	able to lend you a few bucks.

Aquavit is also considered useful for medicinal purposes, an essential
ingredient in what I was once told is the Norwegian cure for the common
cold.  You get a bottle, a poster bed, and the brightest colored stocking
cap you can find.  You put the cap on the post at the foot of the bed,
then get into bed and drink aquavit until you can't see the cap.  I've
never tried this, but it sounds as though it should work.
		-- Peter Nelson

Arbitrary systems, pl.n.:
	Systems about which nothing general can be said, save "nothing
general can be said."

ARCHDUKE FERDINAND FOUND ALIVE --
    FIRST WORLD WAR A MISTAKE