As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?

As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic
schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve
The Problem, saving the documentation for later.

As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.
When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
		-- Oscar Wilde, "Intentions"

As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.
One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly
useful and interesting, I just had to share it.

Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"

 1. I salivate at the sight of mittens.
 2. If I go into the street, I'm apt to be bitten by a horse.
 3. Some people never look at me.
 4. Spinach makes me feel alone.
 5. My sex life is A-okay.
 6. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.
 7. I like to kill mosquitoes.
 8. Cousins are not to be trusted.
 9. It makes me embarrassed to fall down.
10. I get nauseous from too much roller skating.
11. I think most people would cry to gain a point.
12. I cannot read or write.
13. I am bored by thoughts of death.
14. I become homicidal when people try to reason with me.
15. I would enjoy the work of a chicken flicker.
16. I am never startled by a fish.
17. My mother's uncle was a good man.
18. I don't like it when somebody is rotten.
19. People who break the law are wise guys.
20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.

As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.
One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly
useful and interesting, I just had to share it.

Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"

 1. I think beavers work too hard.
 2. I use shoe polish to excess.
 3. God is love.
 4. I like mannish children.
 5. I have always been disturbed by the sight of Lincoln's ears.
 6. I always let people get ahead of me at swimming pools.
 7. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying goodbye.
 8. I am not afraid of picking up door knobs.
 9. I believe I smell as good as most people.
10. Frantic screams make me nervous.
11. It's hard for me to say the right thing when I find myself in a room
    full of mice.
12. I would never tell my nickname in a crisis.
13. A wide necktie is a sign of disease.
14. As a child I was deprived of licorice.
15. I would never shake hands with a gardener.
16. My eyes are always cold.
17. Cousins are not to be trusted.
18. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.
19. I am never startled by a fish.
20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.

As me an' me marrer was readin' a tyape,
The tyape gave a shriek mark an' tried tae escyape;
It skipped ower the gyate tae the end of the field,
An' jigged oot the room wi' a spool an' a reel!
Follow the leader, Johnny me laddie,
Follow it through, me canny lad O;
Follow the transport, Johnny me laddie,
Away, lad, lie away, canny lad O!
		-- S. Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"

As of next Thursday, UNIX will be flushed in favor of TOPS-10.
Please update your programs.

As of next Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL.
Please update your programs.

As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.

As part of an ongoing effort to keep you, the Fortune reader, abreast of
the valuable information the daily crosses the USENET, Fortune presents:

News articles that answer *your* questions, #1:

	Newsgroups: comp.sources.d
	Subject: how do I run C code received from sources
	Keywords: C sources
	Distribution: na

	I do not know how to run the C programs that are posted in the
	sources newsgroup.  I save the files, edit them to remove the
	headers, and change the mode so that they are executable, but I
	cannot get them to run.  (I have never written a C program before.)

	Must they be compiled?  With what compiler?  How do I do this?  If
	I compile them, is an object code file generated or must I generate
	it explicitly with the > character?  Is there something else that
	must be done?

As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500 programs;
a process that traditionally requires some debugging.
		-- USA Today, referring to the Internal Revenue Service
		   conversion to a new computer system.

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list -- I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed -- who never would be missed.
		-- Koko, "The Mikado"

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't
as easy to get programs right as we had thought.  Debugging had to be
discovered.  I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large
part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in
my own programs.
		-- Maurice Wilkes, designer of EDSAC, on programming, 1949

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably
because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
		-- Woody Allen

As the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
bearing hot new versions of their pieces -- faster, smaller, more complete,
or putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new
version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
efficient test cases will usually be available.
		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"

As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
		-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have,
with most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his
divinity.
		-- Benjamin Franklin

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.
		-- Miguel de Cervantes

As Will Rogers would have said,
"There is no such things as a free variable."

As with most fine things, chocolate has its season.  There is a simple memory
aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order
chocolate dishes: Any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the
proper time for chocolate.
		-- Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"