Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...
		-- Wally Shawn

GOD:
	Darwin's chief rival.

God created a few perfect heads.
The rest he covered with hair.

God created woman.
And boredom did indeed cease from that moment --
but many other things ceased as well.
Woman was God's second mistake.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche

God did not create the world in seven days; he screwed around for six
days and then pulled an all-nighter.

God gave man two ears and one tongue so
that we listen twice as much as we speak.
		-- Arab proverb

"God gives burdens; also shoulders."

Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the
end of the 1980 election.  At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I
can't find it anywhere.  I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why
would he lie about a thing like that?
		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends.

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to
change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.

God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little...
The trade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty [...] I do
not mean to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman...
not enough to support a man and five children if he insists on smoking
and drinking beer.  But the man who cannot live on bread and water is
not fit to live!  A family may live on good bread and water in the
morning, water and bread at midday, and good bread and water at night!
		-- Rev. Henry Ward Beecher

God help the troubadour who tries to be a star.  The more
that you try to find success, the more that you will fail.
		-- Phil Ochs, on the Second System Effect

God help those who do not help themselves.
		-- Wilson Mizner

God helps them that helps themselves.
		-- Benjamin Franklin

God, I ask for patience -- and I want it right now!

God instructs the heart, not by ideas,
but by pains and contradictions.
		-- De Caussade

God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.

God is a polytheist.

God is Dead.
		-- Nietzsche
Nietzsche is Dead.
		-- God
Nietzsche is God.
		-- The Dead

God is dead and I don't feel all too well either....
		-- Ralph Moonen

God is love, but get it in writing.
		-- Gypsy Rose Lee