I don't want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.
		-- Woody Allen

I don't wish to appear overly inquisitive, but are you still alive?

I dote on his very absence.
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

I doubt, therefore I might be.

I dread success.  To have succeeded is to have finished one's business
on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment
he has succeeded in his courtship.  I like a state of continual
becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
		-- George Bernard Shaw

I drink to make other people interesting.
		-- George Jean Nathan

I either want less decadence or more chance to participate in it.

I enjoy the time that we spend together.

I exist, therefore I am paid.

I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.

I feel sorry for your brain... all alone in that great big head...

I fell asleep reading a dull book,
and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.

I figure that if God actually does exist, He's big enough to understand an
honest difference of opinion.
		-- Isaac Asimov

I finally went to the eye doctor.  I got contacts.
I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups.
		-- Steven Wright

I find this corpse guilty of carrying a concealed weapon and I fine it $40.
		-- Judge Roy Bean, finding a pistol and $40 on a man he'd
		   just shot.

I found out why my car was humming.  It had forgotten the words.

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
		-- Augustus Caesar

I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very
reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment.
		-- Gautama Buddha

I gave my love an Apple, that had no core;
I gave my love a building, that had no floor;
I wrote my love a program, that had no end;
I gave my love an upgrade, with no cryin'.

How can there be an Apple, that has no core?
How can there be a building, that has no floor?
How can there be a program, that has no end?
How can there be an upgrade, with no cryin'?

An Apple's MOS memory don't use no core!
A building that's perfect, it has no flaw!
A program with GOTOs, it has no end!
I lied about the upgrade, with no cryin'!

I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex.  It was the most *_h_o_r_r_i_f_y_i_n_g* 20
minutes of my life!