I have great faith in fools -- self confidence my friends call it.
		-- Edgar Allan Poe

I have had my television aerials removed.  It's the moral equivalent
of a prostate operation.
		-- Malcolm Muggeridge

I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning.
		-- Plato

I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row.
I do believe that is a record.
		-- Dylan Thomas, his last words

I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.  You
sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an
eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working.  I
have never met you, but if I do you'll need a new nose and plenty of
beefsteak and perhaps a supporter below.  Westbrook Pegler, a
guttersnipe, is a gentleman compared to you.  You can take that as more
of an insult than as a reflection on your ancestry.
		-- Harry S. Truman

I have learned silence from the talkative,
toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind.
		-- Kahlil Gibran

I have learned
To spell hors d'oeuvres
Which still grates on
Some people's n'oeuvres.
		-- Warren Knox

I have lots of things in my pockets;
None of them is worth anything.
Sociopolitical whines aside,
Gan you give me, gratis, free,
The price of half a gallon
Of Gallo extra bad
And most of the bus fare home.

I have made mistakes but I have never made the
mistake of claiming that I have never made one.
		-- James Gordon Bennett

I have made this letter longer than usual
because I lack the time to make it shorter.
		-- Blaise Pascal

I have more hit points that you can possible imagine.

I have more humility in my little finger than you have in your whole
_B_O_D_Y!
		-- from "Cerebus" #82

I have never been one to sacrifice
my appetite on the altar of appearance.
		-- A. M. Readyhough

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
		-- Mark Twain

I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck.
		-- Rob Pike, on X

Steve Jobs said two years ago that X is brain-damaged and it will be
gone in two years.  He was half right.
		-- Dennis M. Ritchie

Dennis Ritchie is twice as bright as Steve Jobs, and only half wrong.
		-- Jim Gettys

I have never understood this liking for war.  It panders to instincts
already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic
establishment.
		-- Alan Bennett

I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race,
in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.
		-- Thoreau

I have no doubt the Devil grins,
As seas of ink I spatter.
Ye gods, forgive my "literary" sins--
The other kind don't matter.
		-- Robert W. Service

I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his
own eyes.  What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks
of himself.  To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.
		-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I have not yet begun to byte!