A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such
a speed, if feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now.  But the
sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will
know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.
		-- Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul

A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:

1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT.
	Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose
	valuable scientific objectivity.

2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES.
	Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the
	gentleness and reassurance he can get.

3. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED.
	Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.

A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:

4. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF THE TREATMENT FAILS TO BRING RELIEF.
	You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into
	the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent
	disability you may have experienced.

5. NEVER ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS DOING OR WHY HE IS DOING IT.
	It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
	explained in terms that you would understand.

6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY.
	Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
	research paper will surely be of widespread interest.

A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:

7. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY.
	You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly,
	to the well-being of physicians and other humanitarians.

8. DO NOT SUFFER FROM AILMENTS THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD.
	It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond your means.

9. NEVER REVEAL ANY OF THE SHORTCOMINGS THAT HAVE COME TO LIGHT IN THE COURSE
   OF TREATMENT BY YOUR DOCTOR.
	The patient-doctor relationship is a privileged one, and you have a
	sacred duty to protect him from exposure.

10. NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S PRESENCE OR UNDER HIS DIRECT CARE.
	This will only cause him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.

A Code of Honour: never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief
as your goal.  There are too many women in the world to justify that sort of
dishonourable behaviour.  Unless she's really attractive.
		-- Bruce J. Friedman, "Sex and the Lonely Guy"

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.
		-- Milton Berle

A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
		-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love"

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies,
scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.
		-- Parkinson

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.
		-- R. Stallman

A company is known by the men it keeps.

A complex system that works is invariably
found to have evolved from a simple system that works.

A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.
		-- Victor Hugo

[A computer is] like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.
		-- Joseph Campbell

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,
with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.
		-- Mitch Ratcliffe

A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling
the president one of the latest talking computers.
Salesman:	"This machine knows everything. I can ask it any question
		and it'll give the correct answer.  Computer, what is the
		speed of light?"
Computer:	186,000 miles per second.
Salesman:	"Who was the first president of the United States?"
Computer:	George Washington.
President:	"I'm still not convinced. Let me ask a question.
		Where is my father?"
Computer:	Your father is fishing in Georgia.
President:	"Hah!! The computer is wrong. My father died over twenty
		years ago!"
Computer:	Your mother's husband died 22 years ago. Your father just
		landed a twelve pound bass.

A computer science student and a practical hacker are discussing problems
the computer science student has run in to.

CS Student:	I have this singularly linked tail-queued list and I'm trying
		to make it O(1) to go backwards an item, instead of O(n)...
		What's the best way to go about that?  Should I just use a
		cached hash of each item and put it into a sorted lookup
		table, and cache the hash of the last item in the current
		queue entry and then go to its place in the hash table and
		get the pointer value from there?
Hacker:		No, you should add an item to the structure named 'prev' and
		make it point to the previous item.
CS Student:	But we already have a structure element with that identifier
		and structure elements must have unique names within that
		scope!
Hacker:		So call it 'previous'.

And then the CS Student was enlightened.

A computer science student on an exam:

	According to Shannon, information has entropy.  Entropy is just
	a mathematical trick to introduce temperature.  Consequently,
	information has temperature.  Hence there are hot news and cool
	news.

A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.

A computer, to print out a fact,
Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
	But this output can be
	No more than debris,
If the input was short of exact.
		-- Gigo

A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate
cake without ketchup and mustard.