A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can
do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
		-- Fred Allen

A CONS is an object which cares.
		-- Bernie Greenberg

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
		-- Elbert Hubbard

A conservative is a man
who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.
		-- Alfred E. Wiggam

A conservative is a man
with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.
		-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it
is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
		-- Dyer

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the
damned things is ample.
		-- Rebecca West

A couch is as good as a chair.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
		-- Benjamin Franklin

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the
beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden.  Immediately,
one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods
like the proverbial bat out of hell, and hot on his heels ran the Game
Warden.  After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with
his hands on his thighs, whooping and heaving to catch his breath as the
Game Warden finally caught up to him.
	"Let's see yer fishin' license, boy," the Warden gasped.  The
man pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing
license.
	"Well, son", snarled the Game Warden, "You must be about as dumb
as a box of rocks!  You didn't have to run if you have a license!"
	"Yes, sir," replied his victim, "but, well, see, my friend back
there, he don't have one!"

A cousin of mine once said about money,
money is always there but the pockets change;
it is not in the same pockets after a change,
and that is all there is to say about money.
		-- Gertrude Stein

A cow is a completely automated milk-manufacturing machine. It is encased
in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical, movable supports, one at
each corner.  The front end of the machine, or input, contains the cutting
and grinding mechanism, utilizing a unique feedback device.  Here also are
the headlights, air inlet and exhaust, a bumper and a foghorn.
	At the rear, the machine carries the milk-dispensing equipment as
well as a built-in flyswatter and insect repeller.  The central portion
houses a hydro- chemical-conversion unit.  Briefly, this consists of four
fermentation and storage tanks connected in series by an intricate network
of flexible plumbing.  This assembly also contains the central heating plant
complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping station and main
ventilating system.  The waste disposal apparatus is located to the rear of
this central section.
	Cows are available fully-assembled in an assortment of sizes and
colors.  Production output ranges from 2 to 20 tons of milk per year.  In
brief, the main external visible features of the cow are:  two lookers, two
hookers, four stander-uppers, four hanger-downers, and a swishy-wishy.

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.
		-- Whitney Balliett

A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels
qualified to judge the work of creative men.  There is logic
in this; he is unbiased -- he hates all creative people equally.

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
		-- Edgar A. Shoaff

A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?

A day without orange juice is like a day without orange juice.

A day without sunshine is like a day without Anita Bryant.