I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
gotten the hostages released.  I thank God they were satisfied with the
missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.
		-- Oliver North

I would have you imagine, then, that there exists in the mind of man a block
of wax...  and that we remember and know what is imprinted as long as the
image lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we
forget or do not know.
		-- Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191

	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to image activation and termination.]

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in
understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good,
our tasks will be solved.
		-- Warren G. Harding

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word "fair" in connection
with income tax policies.
		-- William F. Buckley

I would like to know
What I was fencing in
And what I was fencing out.
		-- Robert Frost

I would much rather have men ask why
I have no statue, than why I have one.
		-- Marcus Porcius Cato

I would not like to be a political leader in Russia.  They never know when
they're being taped.
		-- Richard M. Nixon

I love America.  You always hurt the one you love.
		-- David Frye impersonating Nixon

I would rather be a serf in a poor man's house
and be above ground than reign among the dead.
		-- Achilles, "The Odyssey", XI, 489-91

I would rather say that a desire to drive fast
sports cars is what sets man apart from the animals.

I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!

I wouldn't marry her with a ten foot pole.

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity
for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
		-- Hunter S. Thompson

I wrecked trains because I like to see people die.  I like to hear
them scream.
		-- Sylvestre Matuschka, "the Hungarian Train Wreck Freak",
		   escaped prison 1937, not heard from since

I
am
not
very
happy
acting
pleased
whenever
prominent
scientists
overmagnify
intellectual
enlightenment

IBM:
	[Internation Business Machines Corp.]  Also known as Itty Bitty
	Machines or The Lawyer's Friend.  The dominant force in computer
	marketing, having supplied worldwide some 75% of all known hardware
	and 10% of all software.  To protect itself from the litigious envy
	of less successful organizations, such as the US government, IBM
	employs 68% of all known ex-Attorneys' General.

IBM:
	I've Been Moved
	Idiots Become Managers
	Idiots Buy More
	Impossible to Buy Machine
	Incredibly Big Machine
	Industry's Biggest Mistake
	International Brotherhood of Mercenaries
	It Boggles the Mind
	It's Better Manually
	Itty-Bitty Machines

IBM Advanced Systems Group -- a bunch of mindless jerks,
who'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes...
		-- with regrets to Douglas Adams

IBM had a PL/I,
Its syntax worse than JOSS;
And everywhere this language went,
It was a total loss.

IBM: It may be slow, but it's hard to use.

IBM Pollyanna Principle:
	Machines should work.  People should think.