I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
		-- Fred Allen

[Also attributed to S. Clay Wilson.  Ed.]

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
		-- W. C. Fields

I'd rather just believe that it's done by little elves running around.

I'd rather laugh with the sinners,
Than cry with the saints,
The sinners are much more fun!
		-- Billy Joel, "Only The Good Die Young"

I'd rather push my Harley than ride a rice burner.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like
solitary confinement.

Identify your visitor.

Idiot Box, n.:
	The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
	stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Idiot, n.:
	A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
	affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

IDLENESS:
	Leisure gone to seed.

Idleness is the holiday of fools.

If 10 years from now, when you are doing something quick
and dirty, you suddenly visualize that I am looking over your
shoulders and say to yourself, "Dijkstra would not have liked this",
well that would be enough immortality for me.
		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra

If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law.
		-- Roy Santoro

If a 6600 used paper tape instead of core memory, it would use up tape
at about 30 miles/second.
		-- Grishman, Assembly Language Programming

If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far.
		-- Paul White

If a camel is a horse designed by a committee, then a consensus forecast
is a camel's behind.
		-- Edgar R. Fiedler

If a can of Alpo costs 38 cents, would it cost $2.50 in Dog Dollars?

If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing their hair.  If this doesn't
work, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.

If A equals success, then the formula is _A = _X + _Y + _Z.  _X is work.  _Y
is play.  _Z is keep your mouth shut.
		-- Albert Einstein

If A fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.
		-- William Blake